Okay, if you look at my previous questions you will know that I am married and things haven't been going well at all. Anyways, I met a guy when I was 12 years old and just totally fell in love with him. Everything about him made me go crazy. We are both 20 years old now and have moved on with our lives. I'm married, but not very happily, and last I heard he was engaged.
I still dream of him. I still think of him all the time, even after four years of not seeing him. I do see him around town, but don't say anything, and usually after this happens I end up crying and thinking of him for weeks after. We never dated because I was fat and he didn't like fat girls.
I guess my question is...Should I let him know how I feel? Should I just let it out so it isn't always on my mind anymore? What do you think?
2006-09-22 17:08:13 · 21 answers · asked by Carrie! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It might be better to talk to him before he is committed...if you are in a not a too good marriage there's a ray of hope.....If you are both married it may never happen.................Good luck...........
2006-09-22 17:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Carrie,
It all depends on if you want your current relationship with your husband to work or not. I know you said that you are unhappy, but are you so unhappy that you want to get a divorce. If so, it is not then end of the world. Just be honest with your husband. Explain why you are unhappy and see if there is anything you both can do to make your marriage better. Maybe you need some help from a counselor. But if there is nothing that can be done, then it is time to get a divorce. However, don't try to just take the man for everything he has. Just make a nice peaceful divorce so you can move on with your life.
AFTER, you have made the decision to move on, then and ONLY then should you contact this other man. However, I do caution you to be prepared for him to tell you that he is still not interested in you. You said he was engaged... if that is true then stay out of his life. If he is engaged, he is happy and you coming in to try to steal him away will only cause him problems.
Just out of curiosity, did you marry your husband when you were still a little fat and now you are in better shape and your current husband is not as "good" as you think you now deserve?
2006-09-23 00:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Roger S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, if he didn't like you when you were a fat girl then why settle for him now. Then on top of that you are married. You have a husband to think about and most of all you are under God. Do you know how bad you just may suffer if you did tell him and he said yes(which I doubt) Don't embarrass yourself. That man apparently is not thinking about you other wise when you see him he would approach you. You need to let that go and move on. Don't try to use him as a reason to end your marriage which you said is not happy. You need to focus on what you are already in. You are just young that is all.
2006-09-23 00:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by Miss T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were 12 when you first met. There have been 8 years that you both have grown in different ways. I don't know if telling him how you feel will change his plans. If you want to tell him, do so. Things may not change and he may react differently than what you may think he will.
Life is not greener on the other side of the fence. The weeds are just as bad.
2006-09-23 00:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not let him know how you feel. You should try to work on your marriage. First why were you so into a guy who is shallow? If he is engaged then he is probably in love with someone else. Why would you want to make someone else unhappy just because you are? I think you are in love with his "perfect" image. go get marriage counseling. You are a young woman, try not to have a broken marriage before you really give it a good go.
2006-09-23 00:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should think of talking to your husband about it ,because if things are not good and you don't talk to him and make a move you could lose him and if you talk to him and love and trust in him than he will see that there is a very bad problem with some aspect of your marriage or you wouldn't have such a need to speak to someone from your past who obviously is very shallow to begin with and is surly not worth hurting someone you love over
2006-09-23 00:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by tesstessj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should read your own words.....I'm talking about the part that says..."I was fat and he didnt like fat girls" !
I mean...just how shallow hal can you be???
I thought you were supposed to fall in love with someone who loved you for everything you were and were not!! Not some jerk who only wants a girl who fits his happiness profile.
My suggestion is either work on your marriage or get out.
2006-09-23 00:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by sent_from_heaven2me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on what you want in your marriage. Are you thinking about him just as an excuse to back out of your marriage and get a divorce. Dont give it all up just for that. Try to fix your marriage first. If his feelings turn out not to be the same as yours then you end up alone. Fix marriage...if that doesnt work then, hey, why not? Talk to him if it is that important to you.
2006-09-23 00:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to talk. The first girl I fell in love with, I stayed friends for years after, and finally, the last time I saw her I confessed my feelings to her. It ended there, because she was leaving my city the next day, but I'll never regret it. I still think of her. She's like my guardian angel, in my head, and alive.
My logical side, though, says I felt so strongly about her because she was the first. I don't think so. I started late. Saved myself for the best.:-)
2006-09-23 00:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is a very troublesome thing you could talk to him and explain to him how you felt or you could just let it go and let the past remain in the past you both moved on eveinf you are a\married i get the impression that you would like to have something with him but hello he is engage let it go do not go to uncover a can of worms it may bring more trouble to you you may fall for him if things turn out good and then his relationship suffers or it could be worst.
2006-09-23 00:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by alanna p 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget him. You got married too young (sorry - just being honest). A woman doesn't really come into her own until 27-28. But you are married so now you need to focus on that. Would you like it if your husband had romantic fantasies about his Ex? Your Ex moved on and so should you...
2006-09-23 00:11:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋