um...drunk bf but he's more than a drunk to me i wana help but who do i do that?

Question

I wouldn't bother asking a bunch of strangers if I wasn't in deep **** or really desperate. I'm 15 and iv had this friend (16). Where really tight so anyone who tells me to give up on him is wasting there time. His mom died of cancer when he was 9 and his dad got into alcohol. Anyone with common sense could tell something was ****** up in that house. Than the marks got worse and he was getting beat everyday with something. Last night we had a party at his house and things got broke like at all parties. I didn't know he was going to be in the emergency room. His dad said he fell down the stairs it didn't make any sense cause corey had marks from a metal pole and a belt, falling down the stairs doesn't do that to you. The hospital looked past it because his dad was the one that called the ambulance. When it happened he was helpless cause he was drunk. So when he was in the emergency room I asked him about his dad. I told him that he’s got to call DYFS of something. That didn't make him happy because he had big plans and that would **** it up for him. We started screaming and yelling, nothing new. Than i said, “corey your just like your ******* father” and he pushed me aganst the wall than he realizd what he was doin. That was the only time that's ever happened. The problem is he's becomin his dad, drunk and abusive he's so much more than that. He's got goals. He was the one that freaked about it, got in his car, and drove to the middle of nowhere. They found him passed out drunk laughing sayin how he was never going to drink again. I have a lot of questions but now that he's at home again with his dad i gota no what the hell do i do to help him? If this is abuse what will happen to him if his dad’s arrested? Why was he so upset after he hit me and why did he touch me like that? Sorry it was so long this is the summary...

Answer 1

For one, the hospital is legally obligated if a 16 year old showed up drunk to report it. For two, if he had abuse marks there is no way in hell a hospital would overlook that because his father was "kind enough to call the ambulance".

It sounds like your bf has alot of problems but I really do not think it is a good idea for you to stick around. An abuser always feels bad for harming their victim but that doesn't stop them from doing it again.

Be smart and remove yourself. Good luck!

Answer 2

He needs to take a stand against his father one way or another and realize that what his father's doing is wrong if he ever wants to get past it, and not end up just like his old man. he is obviously a budding alcoholic to cope with how he is treated, i dated a full grown 25 year old man who had this syndrome, cut and dry he needs to deal with it. or hell end up like my ex, who almost killed himself in a car accident broke his neck hip, leg, his whole face had to be reconstructed, he was in the hospital for 3 months, at first they didnt think hed make it then that he wouldnt walk again and then he got out and did physical therapy to walk again, BUT HE IS STILL DRINKING, HE CANNOT DEAL WITH HIS OWN HURT FEELINGS, THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN NOW OR YOUR FRIEND MAY END UP WORSE OFF

Answer 3

1. You can call the cops yourself, if you think your boyfriends father is beating him - don't wait for anyone else to call - if the cops get called twice, that's OK. If they don't get called at all (and should be) that's not OK.

2. Your boyfriend does NOT have the right EVER, to get physical with you - tell him that & make him understand that you mean it. Tell him that if he does attack you again physically, you'll leave - and mean it.

Answer 4

get him out of there hide him or something i wouldnt suggest calling the police because it would ruin his future he would most likely be distracted from school and his grades would go down and he's a good man if he values his grades but being beaten mercilessly is worse than a bad grade but il let you be the judge of that