My sister has been trying to conceive for years without success, this has been very difficult for her. I recently had an ectopic pregnancy which I told her about. She could not believe I told her in light of her circumstances and stated not to tell if I ever was as she knew my hub and I were trying. I've recently moved closer to where she lives and she is very excited at the fact we'll get a chance to see each other more only now I'm pregnant and find myself feeling a little guilty about it. She's coming to visit next month and I'm still not showing and I'm going the following month but it will be hard to hide. I really don't want to lose my sister but fear her reaction will be to pull back, does anyone have any suggestions, she's the only sister I have?
2006-09-22 16:00:03 · 8 answers · asked by pavo2109 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The worst thing you could do is not tell her. I know the situation quite well, but she may learn to be happy for you. It will be hard for her to watch you through your pregnancy, and might even be painful for her after you give birth, but she may grow to love being an aunt and want to visit often. I got pregnant when I was 19 by accident (I'm 20 now, married to my daughter's father who is serving in the Army, and thank god for the unexpected!). But my only sister(and only sibling) is 5 years older than me and has been with her fiance for over five years and has tried to have a baby and tried to convince her fiance that they are ready for a child. It was hard for her during my pregnancy and I felt bad because it just happened to me without being ready for it. But she was ready and wanted a baby very badly. She didn't visit too often initially after the baby was born and I know she was a little depressed. But after a month or two she came to love my daughter and comes over at least once a week to visit and spend time with her. She has since decided that her and her fiance will get married first and buy a new motorcycle and travel before they get pregnant.
Just remember, you will hurt her less in the long run if you don't try to hide it from her. She may pull back in the beginning, but things might get better. You will only make the relationship between you and your sister worse if you don't tell her before it's too late.
Maybe suggest you didn't want to tell anyone until you were past the risks like miscarriage and such. I didn't tell my family until I was two months along and they understood and were happy for me anyway.
Good luck, my prayers go out to you and your family!
2006-09-22 16:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is hard, for you and her.
You definitely have to tell her, the more you hold off , the more she migth be upset later on when she finds out you were holding it from her.
Ofcourse you have to be sensitive to her situation, but this is also a very special occasion for you. She migth be hurt at first, but she will come around and be glad for you. She needs to know before you start showing, it will probably be more shocking if you wait , tell her and youre showing. This way shes used to the idea and by the time youre further along in the pregnancy she will be there for like the sister that she is.
Plus the extra stress you are suffering from this , its not good for you and the baby.
2006-09-22 16:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by la bella senorina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats really, really tough. Your pregnancy is supposed to be a very happy time, and I know its hard to be stressing that telling someone can hurt their feelings. The thing you have to ask yourself is how will she feel if you dont tell her. If she asked you not to, than don't. She will figure it out sooner or later.
Assuming she said for you not to tell her about it, she will ask you when she is ready to face it. But do not let your worry of whats going on in her life to ruin your special moment. She'll see it when you start to show, and I'm sure that she will have to coupe with it herself before asking you if her hunch was right. I wish you a happy healthy 9months and I'm very sorry for your sisters hardships, your loss with the ectopic, and the stress you're going through.
2006-09-22 16:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by USMC Wife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..I am in a similar situation..
My sister has been married to her husband since 99 and they have been trying to conceive since then..they went to the doctor and found out that he doesn't produce sperm.. so they have spent thousands of dollars on artificial insemination..It took once, but she miscarried at 6 weeks..
I just found out that I am pregnant and will be 7 weeks on sunday.. and although I know she will be happy I feel really GUILTY... I mean I'm not even married...not done with school...and I'm pregnant.. I havne't told my mom yet..because I dont know how my sister will react.. I know she won't dislike me.. but deep inside I think she will feel bad.. and I do NOT want that.. so I know what you are feeling.. you just have to tell her.. she may be mad at you but once that baby is born she will probably forget about it....and love that baby to pieces..
Good luck..and wish me luck..lol
2006-09-22 16:50:51 · answer #4 · answered by Tamara J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Well I am kind of in the opposite position...I have been TTC for 3 yrs and my sister is pregnant. I couldn't possibly be more happy for her, I could never be angry with her. If your sister loves you and values the relationship you two have, she will have to accept this as hard as it may be. I can understand where you may feel guilty as you love your sister so much...but this a happy time in your life, just remember that. Be patient with her.
2006-09-22 16:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her but be sensitive to her feelings let her know you love her and would never hurt her and you need her now more than ever and that the child will be hers too be cause they will be family .tell her it is just another person to spoil and protect but mostly love.she will understand cause she loves you.and like you say you are her only sister.
2006-09-22 16:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by malikstlove 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's totally candy of you to be taken with their emotions. that's extremely not your fault, in spite of if it is going to reason them soreness, enormously in the event that they have been attempting for a on a similar time as. that does no longer mean that they are able to't experience excitement on your subject. It in simple terms means that they have got their own soreness to handle to boot. i think of you have 2 selections good now. One, you are able to wait until eventually you have handed the risky first trimester and then tell them (be constructive to enable them to understand why you took so long to inform them). in case you go this path, in user-friendly terms you and your husband can understand regarding the being pregnant, until eventually you're arranged to bare it on your loved ones. in any different case, it is going to easily reason greater soreness to them, the two. the different determination is to return sparkling and tell them. I have been TTC for almost 3 years while my sister, who have been attempting for 8 months, fell pregnant. She knew how lots soreness my infertility grew to become into inflicting me. fairly than telling me without postpone, she referred to as me as quickly as I knew i grew to become into busy and left me a voice message asserting that she grew to become into pregnant. That way, it grew to become into like she grew to become into telling me in guy or woman, yet on the comparable time, she grew to become into giving me some area and privateness for me to have my own reaction. i think of all you're able to do is understand that on a similar time as they may well be thrilled for you, they could nevertheless be hurting for themselves. in simple terms supply them area and time to conform with the information. stable luck!
2016-10-15 07:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by corridoni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, but be light about it. dont be all in her face "oh im pregnant yeah yeah!!!" (obviously you wouldn't do that) lol
2006-09-22 16:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋