I moved to this State because I was in Love with him, but ever since I have been here (going on 4 years, I can't go out, have friends or anything) he always makes me feel like it is my fault and that I have issues. It is getting worse, and I am not in the financial position to leave because we bought a house together and have cars and credit cards together. I don't know what to do! I drank one night at home and he got so pissed that he threw it out and told me that I wasn't alowed to drink in his house, and then pushed me (and I wasn't having that) so I slapped him on the face. He called the police and had me arestted. I spent the night in jail had to go to court, and now I am on probation (non-reporting) so every time I tell him I want out or that I am going to go out with friends he threatens to call the police on me. I need out but every time I try he says he is going to call the cops and the courts. What should I do?
2006-09-22 14:31:05 · 26 answers · asked by froggy31370 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First I would try to look into finding a place to live. Go to your local Social Service Department and tell them you have an emergency. In this way they will have to do something for you the same day or contact a domestic violence counselor. Explain your situation because a man does not have to only hit you to be considered domestic violence. He is trying to control you with threats, intimidation, isolation, and putting you down. This is still considered domestic violence. As far as the things that you have together, you will have to seek a lawyer because laws varies from state to state. You can look in your local yellow pages for lawyers that offer free services or consultations. If you can't get shelter anywhere, why not ask a friend or family member to stay with them temporarily until you get on your feet. I hope you saved all the receipts that you contribute to the household so you can prove in court that you are entitled to your things. As far as him threatening to call the police on you, you should call the police first and when they get there(without him knowing) tell the police you would like a police escort to get your things so they can be there as proof that you did not become violent toward him when you leave. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-22 14:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible to move in with your parents, other family, or friends? If so, do it right away but before you do that, you may want to find ways to get your car and credit card back in your name. You will probably have to go to court to get the money you spent on the house but you will need proof that it was your money not his. The thing is, unless you are married, you really need to make written contracts up when it comes to big financial things. The fact of the matter is that you are in an abusive relationship. No matter how much money you lose, you need to get out ASAP. Unfortunately, this may just have to be a lesson learned for you financially. Contact the people who love you and have them help you get out.
2006-09-22 14:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by Ann Ducketts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the longer you stay with a guy like that the worse it will get. Move out even if it means doing it when he's not around. If your on probation let them know where your new residence is. Don't tell him where your new place is. Get out and find the happiness I'm sure you deserve. Be happy.
2006-09-22 15:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out a battered woman's shelter. Leave when he isn't home. Gather everything you need to survive. What you lose in material items or financially isn't worth losing your life.
The shelters have resources that can help you get a divorce, even though your not married you share financial responsibilities and the only way out is through a divorce.
2006-09-22 14:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's abusive. You need to leave him. Make sure you talk to your lawyer about the situation though, so that way he doesn't try to get you violated with your probabion. You may want to get some help getting out of you situation. You should definitely find a counselor. You also should report him to the cops.
2006-09-22 14:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by bookworm_382 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you definelty needs to talk to a social worker who will help you by giving you the right counselling, you are living in an abusive relationship and defineltly needs to make some choices.You know what must be done but just need some guidance on how it could be done so when he is out seek your way and find some help since this situation can become worse
2006-09-22 14:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mellisa A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police, or a family member. If you dont do anything it will get worse. Tell the truth to the police*not saying your not* as soon as hes arrested get a friend or get into a hotel, maybe sooner. Who cares if he calls the police what can he say. " my girlfriend wants to break up with me arrest her"? Leave him. Get a job, friends and a new life.
2006-09-22 14:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that guys doesn't sound too good. If you want a relationship and to be in love, this doesn't sound lik eit from my end. If he truly loved you then he wouldn't treat you like that. That's not what love is at all, He obviously has his own issues that he needs to see like a counsellor about or else your going to have dysfuntional home. good luck, you desever better girl
2006-09-22 14:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by Mat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HIM! Don't live your life locked up in your house like a prisoner. You need to be out and have friends. You do NOT need to live the rest of your life inside with a life threatning boyfriend. If you don't leave him, you'll end up with no life (dead) because of him or you'll end up being a prisoner till you die......
2006-09-22 14:35:04 · answer #9 · answered by Keisha 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just met the full definition of domestic violence victim. Go to a shelter & get some help. They can give you temporary lodging if necessary so you can get on your feet.
2006-09-22 14:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋