Ladies I need SERIOUS advice Please.? GUYS can you help here?

Question

My husband can act so sweet and charming and nice...but when I apporach him with my feelings he often puts the me down or disregards them, he has cursed at me, yells when angry and has acted out in anger....I have this REALLY bad habit of constaly asking him if he loves me, if he'd rather be with someome else, and asking him if their is anything wrong (such as do you like another girl) etc...but this is because of how he treats me. He says it makes him VERY FRUSRTATED in this realtionship to be asked the same questions EVERYDAY. He says he loves me but how I I just beleive him and stop asking the questions?

Answer 1

If u have to keep asking him the same questions over and over then u probably don't trust him and he's feeling frustrated because he "thinks" u should know it by now.

As far as his anger is concerned, it sounds like he has anger management issues and probably needs to take anger management classes.

Answer 2

OK, this is easy. First, you are insecure about your relationship either because you are an insecure person or because your husband is not behaving in a loving way and giving you a reason to feel loved by him. A man shouldn't have to say "I love" you for his wife to know that: his actions will show the love - he will be respectful, romantic (this means listening to his wife when she comes home from work for about 15-minutes - giving his undivided attention) and he will support her, regardless how stupid her ideas may be! That is how a man shows his love for his wife. He should never yell at her or treat her in any disrespectful manner. By the same token, a woman should never nag her husband by asking the same question each and every day - over and over again. News flash!!!!!! If he didn't answer you the first time, assuming he is not hard of hearing, then he is not going to answer you the next twenty times either. Nagging is enough to drive any man or woman crazy.

Leave him alone and stop looking for reassurances. When he raises his voice or treats you disrespectgully, calmly explain to him that you are not going to tolerate that behavior anymore and then walk away from him.

Question: do you love and like yourself? If you do, then love your husband and give him some "air" so that he can love you back.

Answer 3

A lot of us guys just don't like to show emotion, and when you ask us if they love you sometimes we get irritated because, in our mind, we don't have to tell you that we love you all the time for it to be true; if we tell you once, it's usually still true every other time you ask us. The reason that it seems like some of us are always angry is that ange, frustration, etfc. are the only emotions some of us feel comfortable showing strongly and becasue of that, it stands out the most, even though we do feel other emotions. Also, as you admit, a bad habit to repeatedly ask us because (at least when we're telling the truth) it makes it seem like you want to hear what you want to hear what you believe instead of the truth. Trust is something that has to be earned and if he genuinely hasn't earned your trust yet then that's something the two of you need to sit down together and work out between yourselves because most likely noone else is going to be able to help you with that. That's all the advice I can think of to give you. I hope it helps.

Answer 4

first of all you need to realize that even though you think you're worried about how he feels, its really you that is having the hard time loving you! It's your own doubts and insecurity.....get happy and healthy with YOU and be secure in who YOU are. He can tell you yes everyday and you still wouldn't beleive it!!! The fact is, even if you had the most secure marriage in the world, there's still no guarantee it won't change. He could profess undying love and leave your *** the next week.....you need to still be ok with YOU and know you will be ok with or without him.

LOVE YOURSELF - and get the "Self-Esteem Workbook"!!!! STOP asking him you're driving him away! He's probably got such a short fuse cause you nag him about silly things that he just explodes on you even in minor issues. Guys build resentment too. Lay off, don't whine, stop being needy and clingy - I guarantee when you go to him with a "REAL" issue he'll be a different guy. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

to me you both sound too young to be getting this serious. The do you love me questions come from your lack of experience and confidence in yourself. His anger is from stress and frustration he may not be mentally ready for a long commitment you are not either. I'm betting your both under 28. It's a part of growing up you can work on it together it's HARD to build a marriage it don't just happen. It takes great effort and personal growth. Maybe get some therapy together if you have not already DO NOT ADD KIDS! You toss a kid in this situation every ones stress and unhappiness's increases you ruin another life besides your own.

Answer 6

First of all, let me say that although I'm a woman, I'd get sick and tired of someone asking me if I cared about them. I'd think that they were some snivelling insecure neurotic with no self esteem and I'd start to question what I ever saw in them in the first place. You need to get into counseling and stop engaging in negative behaviors.

Second of all, if he acts out in anger, belittles you, curses you and yells, then he's got anger management problems.

Most domestic violence shelters offer free and low cost counseling even if he never hit you but just intimidates you or he's acted inappropriatedly while angry.

GET COUNSELING! And quit asking the same questions every day.

Answer 7

Listen! Before you can do anything with your marriage you need to get yourself in order. Please know that you are worth it, you do deserve to have your feelings and thoughts heard, and your not wrong for having the feelings that your having. You deserve to be respected by your husband, and everyone around you for that matter. Go talk to a professional, seriously...see what you can do about helping to re-discover who you are.....My guess is, that right now your not sure who you are... and the person you see yourself to be is not a good one. No one can change your perception , but there are people who can help guide you to a place where you can gain back some of the power in your life and your marriage. I've been here trust me,do it, go talk to
some one....I'll be praying for you.. :)

Answer 8

that's totally almost impossible to respond to this with out greater information. if your husband did something incorrect, you do no longer point out it interior the question, which makes you seem rather like a spoiled brat who's stressful her way. you're saying you have 'emotional harm'. If that's because of the fact your husband extremely did something incorrect, then it justified, yet back you do no longer point out something he extremely did incorrect. If that's because of the fact you do no longer approve of your husband having a female pal then I invite you to look previous your own emotions and seem on the 'emotional harm' you're traveling on your husband. If he's finished no longer something incorrect, then he would not deserve you protecting the marriage for ransom with a petty call for. in addition to you're telling him loud and sparkling which you do no longer have confidence him and that he's not an equivalent substantial different. it extremely is mostly a breach of have confidence on *your* area, no longer his. it extremely is meant to be the guy you adore, a guy who of stable adequate heart and character which you chosen to marry him and have confidence him with each thing you had. If he's finished no longer something incorrect, then he merits greater effective from you. back, you do no longer supply adequate information - if there is a few form of abuse, mendacity, adultry, or different vast motives so you might no longer have confidence them, then my answer would not prepare, and that i show regret for leaping to the incorrect end. yet based on the minimum information you have shared, if I had a spouse that did this to me i might experience harm, betrayed, unloved, and disconnected. with a bit of luck you 2 can come again to a fit relationship. stable luck.

Answer 9

First, I'd stop asking. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If he treats you as though he loves you - he loves you. If he treats you like garbage - he feels you are garbage.

Second, he should never - ever put you down or curse at you. This is unacceptable and you need to tell him this rather than asking him if he loves you.

Third, sounds like you have a low self-esteem. I'd recommend you talk with a counselor or therapist. They will help you get your self-esteem back.

Answer 10

I too vote for marriage counseling, but additionally you need individual counseling for your lack of self esteem. The message you are sending to your husband is you doubt his word, and day after day of you doing this is driving a wedge between you and him.

You have to have serious issues with trust as well. The only way to keep your marriage is to get some serious help and get it fast.