he asks you to find him a new mommy when your going to walmart? No this is not a joke, I am divorced, and his mom is out of the picture over drugs. I also have his brothers too. (5y n 3y)
2006-09-22 14:04:38 · 19 answers · asked by Common Sense 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW, alot of good advice, thank you all, and I am reading them all.
2006-09-22 14:28:07 · update #1
I wish I coulda chose more than one.
2006-09-23 02:45:44 · update #2
You let him know you understand how he feels, because he is missing having a mom around and then you let him know you can't just go out and "find" him a mommy. You don't just blurted on you tell him tactfully with sympahty and empathy. So that he understands, but you don't crush his feelings. I wouldn't let the pressure of him wanting a mom let me bring home any woman. Before you introudce your childern to the women in your life you have to make sure they (the women) are worthy enough of meeting your childern. You can't just bring home anybody.
2006-09-22 14:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sharee B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is only 5. His dad and I aren't together but he does see him on weekends. Not the same situation, but if he ever asked me that then I would first sit him down and say that mommy and daddy love him with all our hearts and that we are so lucky to have him in our lives. That daddy isn't going to be around as much, but will always be with him in his heart. I'd say that he will be with me a lot more and that we need to be a team now and help each other out. That there won't be any new daddy (in your case mommy) for a little while. If you believe in god then I would say that just like how god blessed you with such wonderful kids...he will bless you guys with a new woman in your life when he feels the time is right. Like everything it takes time and there will be more answers. We wish you the best!!
2006-09-22 21:26:30 · answer #2 · answered by Hula girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is cute coming from an 8 year old. :)
Gently explain to him that there are several mommies who shop at Wal-mart, but they are not for sale there. You will find him another mommy when the time is right, and he can help out too. If a woman you are dating doesn't like him and his brothers, then she's not the right woman to be his mommy.
Tell him that his new mommy will be a very special woman who will love you and him and his little brothers, since you are all together. She will become the queen in your little kingdom, and you will all love her too.
2006-09-22 21:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your child that mommy has some issues she's dealing with, but that doesnt mean she doesnt love you. You don't have to get into details because a child of 8 doesnt need to know that his mother's a drug addict. I would wait until he's about 12-13 for you to sit down and tell him the real reason mom's not in his life right now.
2006-09-22 21:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just Say "Not now Buddy, This isn't a mommy store,it's a stuff store.You have to do lots and lots of things to get a new mommy, I'll try,but only on my days off. Deal?" And bend down and whisper it to him in a soft, gentle daddy voice.Then if he says "deal" you shake his hand an bend up then pat him on the head.But, if he doesn't and screams and kicks, you just say hey buddy, I will, find you one special mommy someday,somehow. then take his hand and walk to the store and buy what you gatta buy. even reading bead time stories is ok .
2006-09-22 21:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by flucapasater 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he know anything about his mommy? Does he want "a mommy", or one to replace his old mommy? I would tell him that you can't find everything at Wal-Mart. And that some day you will right a nice girl, and that she will love all of you, even him. But you haven't found that special person yet.
2006-09-22 21:08:09 · answer #6 · answered by ladydragondale 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
8yrs will understand if information are filtered in his language for example (1) your mom will always be your mom that is a fact (2) she is having some problem and as a results cannot be here when you need her.(3) I am here(dad) and that means because of mom's situation she cannot be here but nobody can replace her even if it another person.(4) moms are not bought they are precious and cannot be replaced so when the time is right dad will make some adjustment for someone to play the role of mom since because of the problem she has , she cannot be here for you
2006-09-22 21:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mellisa A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him we get the mommies we are given. But that other people can act in the role of mommy or daddy. Make sure he knows that you and many other people care for him. Tell him that his mother loves him too, she is just too ill to take care of him.
Bless you for taking such good care of these children.
2006-09-22 21:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar situation..... my boys' daddy left us a year ago and has chosen to live life on his own. My one son is especially devastated by it. I date now, and if I come home from a date they are disappointed if I don't say we're getting married because they want a new daddy... I tell them, we don't just want any old daddy, we want the RIGHT daddy.... one that will love us all and be wonderful and smart and who loves hockey ... :) They understand that, I think.... I think it's important for them to learn that they are special and worthwhile and that it will take someone equally special to be their dad. I also assure them always that no matter what, it is the three of us, always. (they are 7, btw, twins). Good luck to you, you are not alone.. email me if you want to chat about it sometime...
2006-09-22 21:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by R D L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me,with my three girls. I was married ten years,and after divorced they did the same thing. Sporting events for them was hard,and wanting someone to practice soccer,baseball,stuff like that....so I am sure your want the mommy fiqure like mine wanted the daddy figure. You can't try to play both roles,trust me its hard to do. You need to let him know you are picky,and want to find the perfect one for him and his brothers. Tell him when you meet the right one he will be the one deciding if she is mommy material......
Good luck!!!
2006-09-22 22:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Holly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋