My wife wants a divorce simply because she is unhappy. I have tried. I just got served today. The lawyers tell me the best I can do is shared custody and pay her. I can not live without my 3 boys 6, 8, and 10. At 50 I can not start over. This was my life plan. If I get the boys I will give her 24/7 visitation. She is free to come and go, date what ever. I don't care. I need my boys. I have no one in my court.
Does anyone know anyone who can help?
On top of this she is going to a women of faith conference in Orlando next week. Would a woman of faith do this??
If you are a speaker at this event I sure hope you address this issue and direct it to all pastors and divorcing women.
I don't think my boys want to live a day without me or their mom.
God please come through...
2006-09-22 13:47:59 · 11 answers · asked by col. mustard 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Get yourself a really good lawyer and ask for full custody. Just the fact that she's going to a conference for an entire week, leaving the kids with you? will help your case.'
2006-09-22 13:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you are in, but you do have options. I also can direct you to a lawyer that will travel when needed (court case, obviously) everything else done by mail for original signature and conference calls. He is older so he isn't in law for the money anymore, if you catch my drift. I could put a bug in his ear. You have every right to ask for what she is asking for. It's all in the attorney you pick. Male- definately! Older- Absolutely!!!!! and an asshole. Why an ***hole , because they are not happy when the wind isnt blowing their way. Start getting together a statement explaining why you think the children benefite best in your care. You will be asked for all of this soon, anyway so make it good. Also in court DO NOT say my, daughter, my son, my child.. BIG NO NO . Correct phrasee OUR daughter, child, or son. DRCB reports can be issued also if she wants to she can hire a private domestic phychristrist to do the exam. These are generally anywhere from $5000.00 and more. So you know what that means. They have been paid for. Your attorney should file a denial on that when the wife's attorney presents the petition to the court. Also keep a calendar of every call to kids, from kids, pick up ... everything. I could go on and on... Been there twice, learned a lot,, law is very interesting if you take time to study it. IM for more if wanted. Very sorry to hear this. I wouldn't want to start over either. Some woman get a wild hair in their ***.
2006-09-22 21:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by ~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife are separated? She took the boys when she moved out? Or did she serve you with papers to get out of the house?
Generally, whoever has the kids at the start of a court action has the advantage. Why? It's not that possession in 9/10's of it but simply if the other person acquiesced then we lawyers tend to think "Aha, you weren't the primary caregiver!"
If one of the boys threw up in the middle of the night, did you get up to clean up the mess and comfort the kid or did she? If it was always her, yeah, shared time is the best that you will do.
I've seen men get primary custody but I'm in New Mexilco and we have an equal rights amendment in our State Constitution that prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender and most of the judges try to be fair to the fathers and not automatically assume the woman is a better caregiver. But I don't know how it is in your state.
There are father's rights organizations on the Internet. Do a search with google or one of the other search engines.
Good luck and remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Have faith that it will work out as it should.
2006-09-22 20:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would certainly push for full custody. Most dads don't even bother. If you really show how much you love your kids, it will certainly look good. Maybe your wife doesn't even want full custody. Don't let anyone tell you it can't work. It is true that custody will likely go to the mother, but if you want full custody, your lawyer should be working for you. If they don't think they can do it, find a better lawyer.
2006-09-22 20:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check with a couple other lawyers. It's possible, although not easy, for the father to get custody. If you don't succeed in that, keep close to your boys. At some point they'll be old enough to choose who to live with - it's aways off though except for the oldest.
Good luck. Life stinks sometimes.
2006-09-22 20:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by Judy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get 50/50 custody. I think then you wouldn't have to pay. I feel badly for you, I have the opposite problem. My sons father could give a flying flip about his son even though he says he does.
Best suggestion for you is get a good lawyer. I hear more and more nowadays men are getting custody of their children. Good luck.
2006-09-22 20:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by christine J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check this website and do lots of reading if your lawyer says he can do nothing better then 50/50 custody then fire them and find a lawyer that thinks they can do better...
believe me you want to fight for your children you don't want to end up in the situation my husband wound up in with his X his X lives with a child molester and the state won't even hear it we've called the law children and families and haven't found a lawyer that will touch the case. you don't want to end up in a situation like that who knows who you future X wife might end up with!
Do some reading at the site listed below maybe you will find something that will help! Good luck!
2006-09-22 21:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by moonlights_rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shared custody is the norm here in Canada if both parents are willing and able to care for their kids... it no longer is the mother's right to keep the children. Are "the lawyers" YOUR lawyers? If so, fire them, and find a good lawyer that specializes in custody cases... try to not let it get messy if you can, for the children's sake...but don't take it lying down. You don't want to live without your kids, and they don't want to live without you, so do everything you can to maintain that responsibility. Good luck to you!
2006-09-22 21:10:36 · answer #8 · answered by R D L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write to the speakers at the women of faith conference. Maybe they will address this.
Find a lawyer who will fight for you. If one won't do it, ask them who they'd recommend who WOULD do it.
Boys need a father.
2006-09-22 20:56:35 · answer #9 · answered by Iridium190 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try an organization called, Fathers have rights, too.
Do not be bitter. Make the best of this situation.
Look at it as a s.n.a.f.u..
Ghandi stated that he liked Christ. He just didn't think christians acted like him.
2006-09-22 22:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by Dee Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋