My wife wants a divorce simply because she is unhappy. I have tried. I just got served today. The lawyers tell me the best I can do is shared custody and pay her. I can not live without my 3 boys 6, 8, and 10. At 50 I can not start over. This was my life plan. If I get the boys I will give her 24/7 visitation. She is free to come and go, date what ever. I don't care. I need my boys. I have no one in my court.
Does anyone know anyone who can help?
On top of this she is going to a women of faith conference in Orlando next week. Would a woman of faith do this??
If you are a speaker at this event I sure hope you address this issue and direct it to all pastors and divorcing women.
I don't think my boys want to live a day without me or their mom.
God please come through...
2006-09-22 13:44:03 · 8 answers · asked by col. mustard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are aware of the fact that you are entitled to the exact same things -- concerning your boys -- as your wife is.
custody, child support, the works you may even be able to get full custody if you can prove you have the better family setup at home.
if you don't want the divorce, you need to tell the judge when you eventually end up in court. but first you need to know why your wife is unhappy -- is it because of you?, or of some other factor.
if she is unhappy maybe she is being unfaithful to you and is just now able to tell you that she wants out. maybe you should hire an investigator to have her watched. or maybe she is doing somehting that she shouldnt be.
maybe you need to find out what this women of faith crap is and if they have been filling your wifes head with garbage, like she could be her own person and doesnt need a husband to accomplish it.
also if your divorce goes to court, you need to be 100 percent on the up and up and prove to the judge that you are the better parent -- because your wife is unhappy and wants to destroy your life with your children. make a lifes plan that only includes you and your boys, as quick as possible, and how you plan on achieving it and be prepared to show this to the judge. if you are financially stable you should be able to win your case.
also you need better lawyers because they are wrong and they will always side with the mother when it comes to children. if by chance you do have to split custody she should have to pay child support to you when you have them, and you to her when she has them. you in no way have to pay her for anything she is the one dissolving the union and should have to pay you for your inevitable pain and suffering.
good luck and get lawyers that are on your side.
this from a single mom of three that feels the same way that you do.
2006-09-22 14:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound agressive, but man you have to stay marry no matter what, the laws are agains you. First of all contested the divorce, if you end up in court tell the judge that you want to work things out. Tell him/her that you need some time in counseling, make sure you both go. Drag this out as much as possible, turn things around with your women. Go to church, get the pastor involve in your marriage. What ever you do do not loose those kids! Best of Luck and God Bless!
2006-09-22 20:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by maury3222 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to your spouse? Maybe she is willing to compromise. The other thing is...do your boys want to live with you? No matter what your needs are, your children's needs are more important.
Some courts encourage shared custody and others encourage the arrangement where the child lives with one parent half the year (with visitations on the weekends for the parent they do not stay with). The advantage of any shared custody is that the child support is a little fairer.
In any event, whatever you decide to do, you have to keep your children's needs in mind. Children of parents who continually exhibit negative actions and comments (especially in front of them) usually end up becoming hurt, confused, and need counseling.
2006-09-22 20:56:57 · answer #3 · answered by Judy S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People of faith rarely adhere to anything that is preached to them...like wise all the do is preach. Jesus said love everyone, but the Christians say "hate gays and lesbians" So just because she is a part of some faith club means nothing.
She is a woman, and women have no power...except for when it comes to having and taking children. It's her power trip, and she knows it will hurt you and there's no way she's going to give up that power. All you can do is keep dragging her into court, make her lose/use up her sick days, vacation days, personal days...till she gets canned. You still have a little leverage if you've got the dough to have a lawyer keep taking her to court.
Plus you can always tell your kids that you never gave up on them.
2006-09-22 20:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by johnnyinsnj 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should have paid more attention to her and less to the boys. Not saying that you shouldn't love and care for them, but the greatest gift you can give them is a great relationship with your wife. Take a shot at patching it up, try to make her happy. Listen to her needs. Give this to your sons. You are the only one who can change this, not God, or some speaker, YOU. Take responsibility and get out there and fight for your family. Good luck! No religion, no problem.
2006-09-22 20:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by patrick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. You both better come to an agreement on visitation rights. Does she want full custody? I feel for you. I would never want to be without my boy either.
If you are two reasonable people, then sit down just you and her and discuss the children. Don't fight. Just talk.
2006-09-22 20:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Rolly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is johnnyinsnj making this a platform for his LGBT agenda?Christians are normal people.Maybe she feels like her life is running out,ans she wants to find happiness.It's sad for you and your family,and i'm sure she doesn't want to hurt you,but she can make peace with god after she makes peace with herself.God bless you and your kids,try to be strong for their sakes.
2006-09-22 21:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SO WHY DON'T YOU SEEK TO UNDERSTAND HER?
TO BE UNDERSTOOD, YOU MUST FIRST SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.
NOT EVERYONE THINKS JUST LIKE YOU DO. WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN PERCEPTIONS, OUR OWN PERSPECTIVE, AND ALL OF OUR FEELIGNS ARE LEGITIMATE.
MAYBE YOU ARE TOO NARCISSISTIC, OR MAYBE YOU FORGOT THAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE TO HER WHAT YOU WANT FROM HER YOURSELF.
SHOW SOME EMPATHY. LISTEN TO HER PERCEPTIONS AND ACCEPT THEM. DO NOT EXPLAIN OR DEFEND YOURSELF. FIND OUT WHATEVER IT WOULD TAKE TO FULFILL HER.
DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE THAT YOU MERE PRESENCE FULFILLS HER. FIND OUT WHAT SHE NEEDS FROM YOU. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
CHANGE "I CAN'T" TO "I AM NOT WILLING TO". AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT IN YOUR OWN MIND, BUT YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT TO EVERYONE ELSE, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING MORE LIKE THAT PARTNER YOU WANT TO WITH. IF SHE FINDS LIFE WITH YOU UNBEARABLE, CHANCES ARE THAT YOU HAVE 50% OF THE RESPONSIBILITY IN THAT. TAKE OWNERSHIP AND WORK IT OUT.
2006-09-22 20:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋