How do you stop a child from being jealous of a step-parent?

Question

I’m engaged to a wonderful woman who has a three year old boy from another relationship. The child no matter how hard I try to engage with him and care for him just keeps on having jealousy fits over the relationship between his mother and me. One problem with this is that when he has these his mother does nothing about it, every now and the she will say that I will be living with them soon and that he will have to learn to be nice to me, but other then that she just lets him be rude to me. She will also treat me like a child whenever anything happens that upsets her son, like I’m her child’s playmate that just took his new toy away. I know of you are saying right now that “the problem is between your partner and your self” but we have a great relationship together but only when her child is at his father’s. I want to be able to have a great relationship with her and her son. Does anyone one have an educated answer or some advice to all this?

Answer 1

It sounds to me like (from experience) that your girlfriend has "mommy guilt" that she needs to resolve.
She feels bad that the childs dad is no longer in the picture.Whether it's her fault or not, it is a natural feeling.
She needs to address this for her own peace of mind (for the many years to come).
She will continue to cater to his behavior and the situation will only get worse!
Hence the expression"creating your own monster".
Good Luck to all 3 of you!

Answer 2

She needs to teach him some discipline. He's not too young at 3 yrs. old to know that being rude is unacceptable behavior in general and that being rude to you in particular will not be tolerated. If she doesn't do something about that, your homelife with them will be miserable.

She is also at the root of the jealousy problem. Treating you like another child only justifies (to him) the issues he already has - that it's a competition for her attention (even if it's negative) and that she has to favor him over you. She needs to treat you as an adult and with respect or her child will never learn it... and you'll have to live with it.

I hope you can find a solution so both of you have a good start in your new family :)

Answer 3

Gosh you really do have a problem there and it sounds to me that if your not able to lay certain ground rules to the little guy and have them respected by his mum .
He will become a thorn in your relationship.
Advice ? Yes I would not take the relationship further until you and the child's mom come to an arrangement as to a set of rules for raising her son and where she wants you to be in the raising of him. You may not be his dad BUT a certain amount of respect must be established or that little one will run all over you ..

I do wish you the best

Answer 4

you may remember that this could be a stupid information superhighway internet site that doesn't grant a good 'standard feeling' of anybody given subject rely. of course lots of persons have a wonderfully happy and healthy blended relatives. you merely could study to take the "suggestion" on right here with a grain of salt. all of us is attempting to work out an entire concern based off in trouble-free terms some sentences or a pair paragraphs which you incorporate on your question. some people immediately lean in direction of the unfavourable ingredient on the same time as others lean in direction of a greater useful outlook. Its greater approximately very own adventure than something. the persons who answer negatively have some form of adventure with the subject rely wherein they have never seen happy, healthy consequences. Its additionally difficult for many folk to fathom that a concern the place a relatives is blended, that all of us in contact somewhat is on the comparable internet site. because of the fact enable's be trustworthy right here, maximum blended families do have some form of drama happening.

Answer 5

I suggest that your step son needs to adjust do you.

Answer 6

you order pizza