i've become a social failure...?

Question

i just feel way different than everyone at school. i don't have any close friends. i feel like i'm doing something wrong. like i'm missing some secret to making people like you. i'm normal size, not too tall or short or overweight. i dress in decent clothes, but i don't really care about fashion. i just want to be accepted by everyone so badly. this isn't a sob story, i just really need some help. my family is worried because they say that i have really bad depression and that my past issues with self harm on't do anything good for me. can everyone please give me some kind of advice? please?

Answer 1

Your not doing anything wrong. I don't even know how old you are. Are you in Junior high or are you in high school? People change and grow. You seem to becoming more aware of being accepted by others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted, everyone seeks acceptance. If you want to be liked than make yourself likable. Try to help other people around you. Do you notice anyone else who seems to be down and out? Talk to him/her. Unfortunately people categorize themselves all the time especially in school. What's important is finding friends that have the same interests as yourself. Join some school clubs, try out for drama, join the debate team, sign up for choir, try out for basketball, soccer, football, rugby, lacrosse, or whatever your into. Reach out and others will reach back. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't let the past ruin your present or your future.
Your school days will be a dim memory in the futureyes
Pray that you find at least one good friend., Join clubs, go to activities you might not go to. Volenteer for something.
I personally went to three different high schools. One year I didn't have one friend. That summer I met a friend and it was wonderful. If I had compermised myself in to being who i am not, I never would of found such a dear friend. Seems like the older we get the more we know more of who we are and don't need as many friends. And sometimes the odd kid is just the friend we need. Another interesting thing is that when you get older, some of the popular kids peek at high school and the rest of their lives are down hill from there. It is often the quiet outsider who suceeds in the future.
Please get some help with your depression. Retrain your mind to think positive and happy things. Get the old negative tapes out of your mind.

And remember to get a friend...........you need to be a friend

Answer 3

Lol don't worry. If you're as fine as you say you are, then it's easy to figure out what's up.

You're plain old bored.

Friends come when you've specialized your interests. Sure you can try to please everyone, but that would mean you'd be one of the popular kids and you're not trying to be one of them.

So don't worry about getting along with everybody. I'm assuming your in high school, so just pick some random stuff up, be out going, don't be afraid to make mistakes, and be confident. It's all really not that hard once you try it and once you succeed, you'll feel a little flustered but really proud of yourself.

And about your parents. Screw their view. You need to worry about your own opinions not theirs. Once you get rolling, they'll stop worrying. Don't second guess yourself, and don't get picky. Eventually, they'll be happy because you are.

If you're worried about being weird, well.... you can stop because you already are in that nobody knows what you like or do. Be more open, forget about how the younger kids have the edge on you (they'll like the attention you give them from trying their stuff out rather than just think you're silly), and smile. Sarcasm's great, but if nobody gets it, you're in for a lonely world of hurt.

Oh and about absolutism. Sure, things in the world are black and white, but we view them in shades of grey because we can't focus and distinguish between the black and white parts. Yes you could try to be the all mighty altruist, but you'll most likely screw up. Relax, moderate rather than balance, and have fun. Remember, it's easier to run down a sidewalk than to creep across a tightwire.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are a shy person. Also sounds like you may be dealing with some depression if your family is so concerned. Whey don't you have someone in your family take you to your doctor. If you are suffering with depression, they can give you some medicine for that. Try not to beat yourself up! You are a very smart, special person. Also remember, "you have to be a friend to have a friend". Hope this helps, and good luck to you sweetie! (0:

Answer 5

gosh, you sound exactly like me in highschool. i couldn't see anything compellingly wrong with me, yet everyone made fun of me to the point where i couldn't stay in school anymore. unfortunately, as i had EXACTLY the same problem, i don't have an answer. for me, it didn't stop until i changed schools and started hanging out with "the wrong crowd". then i went on to be an 'exotic dancer', in part because i loved the positive attention from people. what i can say is, it won't last forever. i don't seem to have any problems connecting with people now. but it just changed with time. i hope, for you, it doesn't also take changing your values as well. i changed, because i was lonely. but there was nothing wrong with who i was.

Answer 6

You are not a social failure. You are a wonderful person and have to start believing it. Look at the person next to you what is she doing that makes her different from you. Its no use trying to copy her. What you have to do is understand her frame of mind. What makes her more acceptable is her ablity to accept herself. You need to make a list of all the things that make you happy and try to think of those things. Don't think of the sad things. Don't think about the negative stuff you feel is in your life.

You will be happy. Tomorrow is the beginning.

Answer 7

it honestly sounds like a normal phase that every teenager goes through - especially in high school. it's absolutely normal to feel like a "social failure;" i actually tried getting rid of that status for awhile and joined some clubs (i hated doing sports because that meant staying after school!) after awhile, i met some nice people and still hang out with them - it's been five years since i've been out of high school. in truth, h.s. is nothing but one big devastating flood that everyone has to go through. the last thing you want is to try to be popular....that's just an invitation to be hated upon. good luck with everything, you'll come to realize that in the end, high school really does suck and it just gets better once you hit college.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear about your ****, do you have three weeks to listen to mine. Crude hey. OK I'm not Dr Phil but there are millions of people with more problems than you. You must become within yourself and start believing in yourself. I do not know you, but can not believe your are worst than 90% of the world. Are you? Stop running yourself down.

Answer 9

awww dont be sad for one and everyone feels that way just do stuff u like to do and ull make really good friends, thats what happend with me people tend to like u more when u just be ur self as to the depression find sumthing u like like basketball or soccer or a club and then ull make friends and have fun doing sumthing that u like to do i hope this works for u becuz it works for me

Answer 10

well, you need to take the initiave to talk to people, don't be shy....plus people can pick up on vibes or depression or negativity, so just have a positive attitude and people will start seeing that you are a great person...clubs and extracirricular activities are great for meeting people with common interests