he doesnt have a job, isnt really looking that hard, poor cleaning skills around the house and he contributes o most of the stuff, sex has become selfish he gets his then it goes limp,doesnt take up alot of time with the kids there are two of them, hasnt taken me out on a date for almost three years if any then even when he did have a job, bad credit and continues to make it worse, enjoys his friends way more than he enjoy me, forgets to pick me up from work ocassionally and forgets to pick up our daughter from school alot. i need some honest opinions here please because im about ready to walk out of this marriage.
2006-09-22 12:33:47 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Instead of running to divorce school just give your husband a tough wake of call. Leave him for a couple of months or put him out for a couple of months. During this break you tell him if he wants to work things out then you need to start at a church for counseling, he needs to get a job, and it might be an added bonus for him to get in a parenting class.
2006-09-22 12:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Okay heres the thing. I would love to say yeah..get the hell out but I can't tell you what to do. What I can say is that if you're not happy and you know that he won't be able to make you happy then you have to consider that.
You have kids and thats complicated BUT if you guys are arguing all the time in front of the kids its not good for them.
If he's not contributing then it's even more stress on you BUT maybe he's just going through a rough time. Are you willing to stay with him and work it out?
If yes then you need to set up guidlines and timelines.
Example: You must have at least three job leads in the next month. You must have a job within the next three months. If you forget to pick me or the children up again then.... If you don't take me out on a date then....
You have to let him know that there are consequences.
Good luck!
2006-09-22 12:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
From experience, i've found that if you are questioning whether to stay or not, you've had enough. If it's not the end, it's the beginning of the end.
To quote Dr. Phil, we allow these things to happen to us. Only when we can't take if for a minute longer do we stand up for ourselves.
I would give him an ultimatum, with a time frame. if he doesn't get his act together, move on with your life. You already have 2 kids, don't let him be the third. We all need a caring partner in our lives rather than another kid.
Good luck, I hope all goes well for you
2006-09-22 13:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by jewel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's a loser.....WALK. If he doesn't have a job and is not trying to get one then HE MUST GO. He will NOT change. Have you ever wondered what he is REALLY doing when he "forgets" to pick you or the kids up? I would be. Get a lawyer, put at least half if not more of the debt on him, open new accounts in your name only, close joint accounts after separation. He will not change because you are doing this. He will say he will change but DO NOT believe him. He has it easy, you are supporting him, tending to his "needs", and he gets to spend money as he sees fit. Why would he change?!?!?!?!? For the sake of your children, your sanity, and finally your credit, LEAVE.
I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.
2006-09-22 15:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by country girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nowadays you dont have to really have a reason for divorce. What you have to think about is are you better off with or without him? It sounds like you would be better off without him or at least youd be happier. You will probably get child custody and support, paying it will be his problem and he will have to get a job or face jail time as a dead beat dad,, the house and possible spousal support as well. He will have to grow up in a real hurry. So you just have to decide whats best for you and the kids and then just do it and dont look back. Good luck
2006-09-22 12:42:14 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You know his trade, look him up some jobs and call them and line up some interviews. When you have accomplished this then tell him that you are going out and he needs to watch the kids. Just a few times of this will either make or break him. Good luck.
2006-09-22 12:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a question of "grounds for divorce," if you live in the U.S. You can simply divorce based on incompatibility. The most troubling thing is that he forgets to pick up your daughter - still not grounds for divorce in the alimony sense, but it certainly shows this is not someone you'd want to spend the best part of your life with. You'd be much better off on your own - much less hassle for you. Good luck. Just be strong.
2006-09-22 12:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by sunshinegirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a hard one. Did you ever have a good marriage? If so you need to remember the for better or worse, part. Have you talked to him about how much this is bothering you? Can you discuss some ways of making this work? Id get marriage counseling, before you break it for good.
2006-09-22 12:38:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He sounds like a selfish person altogether, How can some one just "forget" to do things alot...He may have other things going on at the time or may have another woman in the side. Tell him that you are seriously considering leaving him and that if he doesn't get his **** together you are gone.
2006-09-22 13:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by Honey Dip 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This may not be grounds for divorce. It does sound like grounds for marriage counseling. If he chooses not to help you out then I would take my children and move out. If you file for divorce right now he could get custody as the parent who is at home. If you move out you can prove that he takes no part in raising or supporting you or the children and will more than likely be given custody. Try to work it out first.
2006-09-22 12:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋