I found out that my husband beens emailing another women what should I do?

Question

would you consider this cheating? should i get rid of our marriage due to this of his dishonesty?

Answer 1

Confront him! Let him know that you know. This is a form of cheating.....and he should be aware of this. No, don't end your marriage.....if he is willing to be more honest with you. Go for marriage counseling....it will be good for the both of you...if he won't go, you go. Always try to save your marriage before ending it. You may end up with a marriage better than ever. God Bless

Answer 2

Just e-mailing in itself is not bad, but it could lead to a meeting. Tell him that if she is a friend then why haven't you met her or tell him that you just don't approve of this and you see it as dishonest and or cheating. It also depends on the nature of the e-mailing. I don't consider it cheating unless the e-mails contain stuff that only a husband and wife talk about. Good luck. I am a guy by the way and married.

Answer 3

What exactly is being said in the emails?

I heard a great tip once, that if you wouldn't do something to someone if your spouse was in the same room (i.e. a back rub) then don't do it. I suppose the same would be true in this instance. If he's hiding the friendship and emails to this other woman from you then there may be something he doesn't want you to know. I would want to talk to him and ask him why he felt he needed to go outside the marriage - what is she giving him that you are not? And yes, I would consider it emotional cheating.

Answer 4

Approach him. Don't sweep this issue under the rug, but don't make an all out attack with guns blazing. Your his wife, find out who this other woman is by asking him about her. I strongly advise trying to intervene before his little fling (if that's what it is) turns into an affair. Communicate to him that you love him very much and you want to know why he has been emailing this other woman. Seek counseling for yourselves.

In a way you could consider it as cheating. But it is more emotional cheating rather than physical so far. If he meets up with this other person and tries to expand the relationship into a physical one then he is walking a very fine line.

If you love him than try to save your marriage before an affair destroys it. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Dont end anything yet. First confront him about this. See what he says and let him explain..(even though theres still no reasonable explaination for this) Than let him know that you need trust in this relationship and you need the honest truth are you cheating on me? If he says no ask him if he has ever thought about it? and if he says no than ask him why he wrote these letters to this girls. Tell him that you are now in a marraige and that theres no more other people! You made a commitment to me and you broke it. Tell him that you are leaving for a while, you need time to yourself to think about this. Than really think things through, do you want to stay in a marraige where you know your husband is either thinking or is cheating on you???And if he says he will stop will you truely believe he will??If you dont think he will stop than you will either have to put up with a cheat or get your butt out of there and move on. Or if you think he can stop and will, than go to concelling and see if it works. But the next sign you get that hes cheating get your but out of there!!!

Answer 6

I don't think that monogamy is a natural state for human beings. It takes a huge amount of self control to maintain monogamy for years and years. This seems to be especially true for men. Perhaps your husband is controlling himself quite well and he just blowing off steam with dumb e-mails. It sounds like he didn't actually have sex with another person. In his mind E-mail is completely anonymous and safe. He would probably rationalize it that he isn't really cheating. It's purely entertainment for him.

I agree with you though. I would be very upset too. This is serious because thoughts lead to e-mail and e-mail leads to actions. I believe that he is playing a much more dangerous game than he realizes.

I know that your feelings are badly hurt. Mine would be too. However, if you guys can talk this through it would be for the best. I don't think he meant to hurt you. In fact he might even be so callous as to deny that he hurt you at all. Men are dorks but they are OUR dorks and we, the hopelessly heterosexual women of this world, have to love them.

You could divorce him over nothing more than hurt feelings but that seems pretty drastic and childish. Better yet, try to explain to him how devastating it is for you to know that he has been doing this. I bet you a nickel that he had absolutely no idea. They really are clueless.

If it wouldn't be for women enforcing order and decency, the men on this planet would probably move right back into the caves and start eating raw meat again.

Answer 7

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking to somebody on the computer via email or IM whether it's same sex or opposite sex. HOWEVER..........if your spouse is "hiding" it from you, only talking to this person in "secret" and/or "lying" to you about it THEN......YES, I do consider this to be "cheating". Having a relationship with somebody emotionally on the computer is no different than meeting this person in secret. With the "singles" sites available today on the Internet it is very easy to meet "local" singles. So, it's very easy to connect emotionally via the Internet and then take it to the next level by meeting in person. It's my opinion that it would then be just a matter of time before the emotional affair would then become physical. CHEATING= your spouse "hiding" or "keeping secret" an emotional or physical relationship with another person...it doesn't matter if it's via phone, Internet or in person.

Answer 8

I caught my husband doing this six years in the past. Went via hell. thought it had stopped to discover he in user-friendly terms grew to become into greater effective at hidding issues. He had a six 365 days actual and emotional affair with a married female. human beings in relationships should not be in chat that's approximately all that's for. placed a supply as much because it now, hint on the workstation or in case you have no longer any youngsters. go away it is going to in user-friendly terms worsen. It ends up in cheating.

Answer 9

Same thing happened to me , mine was bad, my husband i were together 28 years, the girls were on adultfriendfinders and 1 at work, i got a program and installed it and read his emails sick nasty pig hes hhas been cheating for years, i have never worked outside my home, and hhave never had money my husband has been taking women on expencive trips and buying them gifts, i thought i would just kill myself , but i copyed his emails and gave him a copy, told him i wanted to go to thailand for a month and i wanted a boob job a lift and a face lift, i said pay or i'll take it all he gave it, i also applyed for over 200,000 in credit cards which i will max out if he does it again, and he will pay , i also got copys of all his accounts and pulled my head from my ***, i know he will cheat again this time it woun't hurt and shock me , i will be ready to take it all.........I looking a new homes in the mountains and working on my head so i can find a nice man who will love me,

Answer 10

DON'T open another email account to catch him like someone above suggested. That would NOT work, he'd figure it out once he mentioned it to the woman he's emailing. Instead, go to http://www.spector.com There you can order for about a hundred bucks the software to spy on him, you will be able to see screen shots of where he's been & what he does. He will never find this on the computer. I have it on mine, no one knows, well I guess everyone knows now. I have it to keep my children in check on line. Good luck!!