My child was punished because I forgot to sign and send her homework back to school. Was this fair?

Question

On the way out the door she fell off the step onto the pavement and injured herself. I was so upset trying to tend to her we left everything on the counter. This was the first time it occurred. She told me about the missing items, but it would of made her late for school if I went back. She is 9 and in the 4th grade. She was held in at recess for some time, also the teacher did not tell me. I support the schools and education, but this was a first time offense and her teacher is new and has many ideas. This seems a little harsh for something that is really ultimately my responsibility.

Answer 1

I am a teacher, and I would say that in your case, no, it was not fair. As a new teacher, I'm sure that your child's teacher was trying to set a tone early in the year, as all the training books tell you to do. However, I have always found it to be frustrating that many teachers do two of the following things: behave in ways for which they would punish their students (e.g. talking during a meeting, running in the halls, eating in class, chewing gum, etc) and punishing children for doing things that in the real world would never be punished. Of course, children "forget" things, many times on purpose, and it is our job as teachers to help them to set up practices to improve their memory and sense of responsibility. But it is also our job to know our students, know if they are lying, and cut them some slack once in a while, especially if circumstances are extraordinary or out of their control. Your child's teacher should watch that she doesn't make any mistakes, est she be judged by her students the way she judges them.

Answer 2

Parents are to sign work so that teacher knows that the student's care giver is aware of the quality and quantity of work the student is doing. Without this check, some students will consistently not hand in homework, and the parent is not aware of what is going on until an exasperated teacher phones home complaining about the lack of work at a proper standard.

If the students are old enough, they should take on the responsibility to make sure that their homework is done to proper standard as well as signed and returned upon request. The teacher should give warning to the students what the consequences are if they don't return with signed homework. Personally, I would give a warning for the first offence, but this teacher may think otherwise.

You may (calmly) contact the teacher outside of teaching time and explain the fault was your own, (though your child should have made sure that you signed her homework), which I'm sure the teacher will be more than happy to discuss the matter with you.

Whatever the outcome, you and your child won't forget this soon! So the punishment has also served as a reminder!

Answer 3

That depends. How old is your child? And what was the punishment?

An older elementary child and up should be responsible enough to get your signiture and place that homework back in the backpack or school bag and carry it back.

Younger children maybe not so much. I'd talk to the teacher if the child is young and find out exactly what happened. It may be that notes have been coming home to you and never reaching you because your child is delibrately forgetting them and that this was an attempt by the teacher to reach you.

It's always a good idea to discuss things calmly with the teacher.

Answer 4

Many parents search through the backpack the night before for memos and homework. That is the time papers should be signed AND returned to the backpack otherwise you are setting yourself up for a teen who thrusts a permission form or other paper to be signed in your face at the last minute.
4th grade is not too young to start showing responsiblity and 15 minutes isn't too long to miss recess. (If your kid's recess is longer than that, then there is more to worry about than one paper!)All our 4th grader teachers would have done the same and my state isn't even in the top 50% in education.

Answer 5

From a teacher's perspective, I believe it was fair. The teacher is trying to teach responsibility. It was your child's responsibility to get you to sign her paper, not yours. A rule is a rule and if the teacher breaks that rule for one she must break it for all, therefore the rule is meaningless. It is the hardest job for a teacher to be consistent, but it must be done. I bet your child will from now on remember to get you to sign that paper. If the teacher let it slide then what was your child taught? That there are no consequences in life? It is better your child learns this lesson now than when the consequences are a lot harsher.

Answer 6

No. But the schools nowadays do not care. They want to do what they want and d&@ned everything else. I have an 8 year old and his teacher today put him on yellow because another boy pushed him down and they started arguing. The other problems with public schools are that the parents of the other children are not parenting like they should. I teach my son to be the best and most polite child that he can be. Do I have to teach him that to solve things in school is to fuss, argue and if they hit him to hit back? That is not how it was when I went to school.

Answer 7

What's the alternative? Put yourself into a teacher's shoes for a moment. The alternative is no punishment/no consequence. There are rules and there are consequences for failing to follow them. Teachers don't make enough to put up with parents who justify their kids' shortcomings. There isn't enough time in their day to follow the trail of every failure. You should, however, write a little note accepting responsibility without protesting the punishment.

Answer 8

If your version of responsibility is question authority and complain about trivial "injustices", then your kid's teacher did the right thing because obviously she isn't going to pick up those values from you. I truly hope that you're a child poser, and not a parent looking for validation here. That would be tremendously sad.

Answer 9

It depends on what you forgot to sign and send back. Homework is a student's responsibility, so this is your child's responsibility--he or she should have reminded you and asked for you to return it.

Sometimes teachers *need* forms (i.e., acceptable use policy forms for computers; permission slips for certain films or field trips; etc.). A child cannot participate in such activities without these.

Answer 10

No, and I would speak to the teacher. No offense to you, but it is wrong to punish a child if it's not their fault. If the teacher doesnt agree with this, then I would talk to the principal.