im 15 and a bf whose dad beats the **** outta him everyday and last nite we were fighting and it got really intense and he pushed me aganst the wall before he realized what was going on what do i do to help him?
2006-09-22 09:46:38 · 22 answers · asked by Emma W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You help him by calling the police and getting him arrested for assault.
2006-09-22 09:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you do to help him is to tell him that you will not allow this behavior!!!!!
Set the rules so he understands that toughing you in anger is not allowed, and you will dump him if it ever happens again. Help him learn to recognize the anger before it gets too bad to control. He needs to find a way to direct his negative emotions away from you or anyone else.
You may need to talk to a guidance person at school to get ideas of how he could redirect the anger. Maybe he will be willing to talk to the guidance person himself.
If both of you are willing to work together things could really improve in his life.
2006-09-22 16:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are way to young to be in an abusive relationship, so I would drop him, but not before I i got him some help. A good place to start could be at school just tell a guidance councilor, that he is being abused at home, and she Will get him all the help he need.
2006-09-22 16:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by erker34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You help him by telling someone about what his father is doing to him. You can call an anonymous line to report abuse to your local social service office. Do a search in your area for social services and then call them and tell them the boys name and his fathers name. Give them as much information as you have they are required by law to at least investigate and interview your boyfriend. he has to take it from there.
You also should never never allow him to touch you. This is what he knows and if you let him get away with it he will continue to do this not only to you but others, even his own children one day. By making it clear that you will not tolerate this behavior what you are really doing is helping him to control himself. You really need to involve your own parent in this. Be honest with them and tell them that he pushed you. They are the ones that are there to protect you.
2006-09-22 17:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously needs to et some help. People that were abused as children are more likely to be abusive people. Does he recognize that he lost his temper? If he is willing to get some help with his anger then suggest that. That is the ONLY thing that will help him. The emotional, physical and mental damage that is being done to this boy can only be helped with therapy.
2006-09-22 17:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get him help FAST!!! it's only going to get worse. so you better do something quick. if it happens again call the police. maybe then he will realize that it's not the right thing to do. he has problems he is learning this from his father. he's probabley had to deal with this since he was little. it's probabley the only way he knows to get out his aggression. which is not a good thing. there are programs that can help him.
2006-09-22 16:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teen Dating Violence may be more common than you think. One out of every five girls has been physically or sexually assaulted by a dating partner. Dating violence includes psychological and emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. It occurs with casual dating or serious long term relationships.
Signs of Abuse in Your Dating Relationship:
Your boyfriend or girlfriend pressures you into a serious relationship or to have sex soon after you begin dating.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes extremely jealous and possessive and displays those feelings with destructive displays of emotion or violence.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, and refusing to take your views seriously.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend puts you down in front of friends and is often critical and condescending.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend yells at you, swears at you, is manipulative, spreads rumors about you or tries to make you feel guilty.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend threatens you or makes you worried about his or her reactions to things you say or do.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has abused others and brags about it.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend grabs, pushes, shoves or hits you.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has a history of failed relationships and blames the other person for those problems.
What You Can Do:
If you are in a dating relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable, awkward, tense or frightened, trust your feelings and get out of it.
If you are in a violent relationship, or a potentially violent relationship, get help. Talk to someone you trust. You may also want to contact the police or a domestic violence center. Call 2-1-1 for contact information for domestic violence hotlines, sexual assault hotlines, counseling resources, or youth talk lines.
If you suspect that someone is in an abusive relationship, encourage that person to get help, be supportive, and talk to a third party you trust, but do not try to handle the situation on your own.
If you suspect that someone you know is being abusive, and you feel sure you are not in danger, talk to the person about his or her use of violence and encourage the person to seek help. Call 2-1-1 for referrals to programs that will help that person learn how to stop being abusive.
If you are hurting your boyfriend or girlfriend, get help. Call 2-1-1 for intervention programs or other counseling resources or youth talk lines
2006-09-22 16:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by nash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You charge his sorry butt with assault is what you do. YOU cannot help him. I know you want to, I know he's sorry and "I'll never do it again" and all the rest but he will not stop so you have to do the stopping. He needs psychiatric counseling. I know it's not his fault BUT YOU CANNOT help him. The best thing you can do is report the father to the police.
2006-09-22 16:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to go see a counselor. He needs help before he keeps this up and turns into his dad. At your age you are going to want to stay with him and help him change...yadda yadda....he will not change until he is ready or until he sees a problem. You might need to get out.
2006-09-22 17:04:05 · answer #9 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time for you to keep your distance away from him at the same time ask him to go for a counselling,use your relationship with him as a bargaining chip tell him to straighten-up or your out of his life,at the same time he needs someone to relate too,so just tell him your with him with his problem,but hurting you is a no no
2006-09-22 17:11:57 · answer #10 · answered by Lionel M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough, because I know you want to help him, but it is not safe for you to be around him. If I were you I would tell him that you really care for him, but you don't feel safe around him because of this tendency, and you don't feel like you can continue to see him unless he gets professional help. Don't stick around just to try to save him yourself, because that is putting yourself in danger. But if he is really trying to get help, then you should support that.
2006-09-22 16:50:46 · answer #11 · answered by ask the eightball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋