I have been married for almost 5 years and have two daughters. I have recently started seeing my ex again and have very strong feeling for him. I need some help. What I feel for my husband doesn't even compare to what I feel for him. I am very scared and I confused. I can't stop thinking about him. I am thinking of leaving my husband. Advice please.
2006-09-22 09:34:20 · 42 answers · asked by TUCSONAZ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WAKE UP!!!! NOT ONLY are you GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE but your GIRLS LIFE!! Stop being selfish! I know the situation you are in ..not close to your hubby, grown apart..BUT when there are children involved ...YOU need TO BE UNSELFISH!!! THINK OF THEM! I have been there, went to counseling for two years and glad I stuck it out!
2006-09-22 09:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by Proud MOM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having an affair. Your relationship with your Ex is not real - it is a fantasy. It is like being on a high! I know because I made the same mistake (and now I am sitting alone in my apartment away from my wife and kids). Your Ex is meeting the emotional needs that your husband is not meeting. But there is a reason why your Ex is your Ex? And why your husband is your husband. Wouldn't it be great if you could just merge the two of them into one person? But you can't. Trust me, I have done the homework: when people who are married leave the marriage for a lover, the relationship with the lover ends shortly thereafter. This is a statistical fact.
So what to do. Well you asked and here is what to do. You need to cut off all ties to the lover immediately and no matter how tempting it will be to have a romp in the hay with this guy, you shouldn't meet him, or call him or email him. Totally cut it off. Right now you are weak emotionally so this is going to be one of the toughest things that you will ever have to do in your life but if you do the right thing, you can salvage your marriage. After you do that you are going to feel depressed, just as an addict would when she stops using drugs. Don't panic - this is normal. Once you get past that point, you are going to have to ask yourself if you want to make your marriage work. If you say yes, then you and your husband are going to go to a couples weekend and learn to meet each other's emotional needs. Also, since you are the one who had the affair, you are going to have to ask yourself why you allowed your state of mind to let you do something that goes against the vows you promised when you married your husband. There is going to be some soul searching that you are going to have to do alone. If you decide to end the marriage, then that is another issue altogether since there are kids. But the grass is not greener - believe me! Good luck to you and your family.
2006-09-22 16:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the KIDS are who should be thought of, I hope you have an HONEST OPEN association with them... I mean honesty is the best thing. You may find that your "x" is NOT the one for you or the current husband you are with may not be the one for you either... Sometimes people leave a husband to go off with some guy and then they find he was not the one either,... SEXUAL feelings should be placed where they are, but well I think you probably would know more than I if that is all it is ~ sexual drives.
But well CHEATING is definitelywrong I mean if you do not regret it now I think you may later in your life..... if you were "out of the relationship" with the current husband well then that would be one thing.... but well... I made mistakes in my life....check this out:
www.facing-abc.20fr.com
I would suggest ending the relationship with the CURRENT HUSBAND I mean you are being unfair to him. If you "were not made for each other"...well chances are the right person IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE...whether it is your X I do not know.... I hope you could be FRIENDS with the Current HUSBAND in order to be able to raise the children properly... your best bet is to try to handle such conditions of raising the children "out side the courts" if you can... I mean sometimes people can not even bring themselves to speak with each other... but If you can be "friends" in any way well I think it would be best for the kids and if you do not go thru the courts it will save you money.
Right now it is not doing anyone any good to be in the position you have placed them in.
Think about your current husband with the notion that you would want him to BE ABLE to BE with a woman who is going to make him happy.
female.zoomshare.com
2006-09-22 09:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to yourself and your husband to try to fix your problems b4 starting another relationship.Your not doing real well with the relationship you have now.You said it yourself ,you have 2 kids and 5 years of memories.Try to do things the RIGHT way.This will hurt your children and could destroy something that you may actually regret destroying.There may always be strong feelings for your ex and I feel for you that your confused and scared,but your in no position to give up on what you have.Make sure that you can leave your husband with no bad feelings or animosity.You deserve better than sneaking around and your husband and kids do too.Good luck.
2006-09-22 09:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't just cheating on your husband , you are cheating on the whole family. I hope your ex is worth the happiness of your family.....hint: You will probably cheat on this guy too. Cheating isn't something that happens until you find happiness. You can't find happiness because you are cheating. Let yourself be happy with your husband. Forget the ex. Think about why you married your husband in the first place and get back to those feelings.
2006-09-22 09:45:06 · answer #5 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a very selfish and horrible person. You are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. If you felt feelings for this person, you should have met with your husband then and discussed your relationship. This is all your fault and no-one elses. You made a vow when you were married and you have gone against your words. I feel horrible for your daughters-what kind of mother do they have to look up to? What kind of message are you sending to them.
You came on here to ask about this, so you obviously know what you have done is wrong. By all means, tell your husband the truth so that he can move on and be with someone that he can trust.
People like you make me sick and you are what is wrong with society today. If it doesn't work with your ex-I hope your future ex is smart enough to never take you back.
2006-09-22 09:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes it is just the rush, of doing something... somehow it seems to bring about a high like no other. I know exactly what you mean... now it's time for you to really focus on what matters most in your life! Whatever it is you need to talk this out with your husband and let him know what is going on, I know this will be extremely difficult, but if it were you in his place ..wouuldn't you like to know? If your choice is to leave him make sure that this thing you have going on with the other man is not just an affair.. to give up a family it has to be worth it! Think of your children, if they are very young it may not be as hard on them... but like I said you need to weigh everything out & rationalize!
2006-09-22 09:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by cheer8ko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word. KARMA.... and it comes back 10 x's over. Your ex is your ex for a reason. Think to yourself and then ask yourself why did you guys break up and then think in the 5 years you've been married, has your ex changed. It's sugar-coated on top but inside, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Maybe he's whispering sweet nothings to you now because you're married and he's safe playing with you this way. You have alot to think about babygirl, play it safe. Good Luck!!!!!
2006-09-22 09:44:08 · answer #8 · answered by hope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given that you have two young children with your husband, you have no right to be so selfish. Seek counseling to find out what your husband lacks that attracts you so strongly towards the other man and see if that can be resolved.
You owe it to your children and your husband to remain faithful. You made a vow! Furthermore your behavior will lead your entire family down a dark road for your own carnal desires. Not cool.
2006-09-22 09:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by Cyrus A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, aren't you a sweetheart? Give your husband the opportunity to find someone new that will appreciate him. Cheating is never the answer. Go start over with the ex, and hopefully, in a five years, he will return your favor. And it won't be his fault, because "he can't help his feelings".
2006-09-22 09:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, supply up relationship! no longer continuously yet for now, you're to vulnerable emotionally to apply stable judgment at this factor.First, get on your ft financially,decrease ALL touch with the cheating b/f.The cheating b/f used you like he has all women in his existence and you all keep volunteering for greater of his crap!Get a clue already.document expenses against the so referred to as therapist, you do no longer want a therapist.artwork on your relationship with your toddlers.self-well worth comes from doing what's stable,start up doing that.next understand GOD loves you and has a plan on your existence hon,examine Matthew 11:28-30 one million Peter 5:7 John 3:15-17 Romans 5:12 John 3:one million-5 and Acts 2:38.it would help in case you went to church, you will meet human beings there who will certainly care approximately you and you will meet a lots greater effective classification of guys.The United Pentecostal church homes are stable.attempt one out sometime.
2016-10-15 07:35:49 · answer #11 · answered by graviett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋