pls help! i don't know what to do? is this wrong...?

Question

i have been married for 8 years and my husband and i have two beautiful children together. but we've been in this low point that's been going on for about 11 mths. now we have new neighbors (newly weds couple) and the man is so sexy. i fantasize about him and now i scheme to get him in my bed and befriended his wife so i can see him more often. he is smart ,handsome, sweet, evrything a prince charming should be and my husband has gotten fat, loud and somewhat obnoxious over the years. i don't even think i have any true feelings for him anymore but every time i see my neighbor, my heart skips a beat. i really want to be with my neighbor, i would leave my husband for him but i feel quilty since my husband did provide for me and my children for 8 years.what should i do i can't stop thinking about my neighbor?

Answer 1

First, you should go back and read what you have written...because right in the beginning of your question, you were quick to point out that those new neighbors are newlyweds also. Think about that. Has this neighbor given you any reason to believe that he feels the same about you? If he hasn't, have you considered that you are just living that Desperate Housewife fantasy that most of us have at some time or another because of our own unhappiness? You can't dismiss these feelings toward the man that you vowed to be with for the rest of your life because there are issues there. Instead of looking somewhere else, which I don't really believe you want to do, you just think you do, you need to talk to your husband and rekindle the romance. It gets lost so easily when you have children, work, and get caught up in just every day life. And, do you really think that of your husband, or is this just what you have been feeling since this new neighbor moved in? You should feel guilty for many more reasons other than just the fact that your husband provided for you and your children for 8 years. We can't just give up on marriage when we aren't happy. We can't just say ok, I would like to trade him in for a newer model. As nice as that would be sometimes, it just doesn't work that way. My suggestion is that you try to stop thinking about this other man, and start thinking about the one right in front of you. Seek counseling, try talking to him about it, set up date nights, get a sitter for the kids for the weekend, and go away from the home, bills and stress that is our lives when we are married with children. Find out what is really bothering you here, and above all DO NOT try to break up their marriage. Newlyweds need the chance to become everything they hope they will be when they say I do. Don't take away her happiness, or his, just because yours is lost right now. I promise you whatever is supposed to happen will with time, and it doens't include mcdreamy next door. Good Luck, and God Bless.

Answer 2

I wouldn't act on this right away and try working on your marriage, I know this is not what you wanted to hear. If you were able to get the other guy whats to say that he will not do that to you. After some time thinking and trying to work on your marriage and if you still feel the same way about your husband then leave him but don't go to the guy next door, go for a single one. Good luck. 19/12/21/20

Answer 3

It's just infatuation, you'll get over it. Take an honest look at your husband and remember why you married him, then have a serious talk with him about where your lives are and that you aren't happy. You ned to get going in a new direction WITH your husband, and then I'm sure it can work. If you truly don't love him at all anymore, and you don't think it will ever work out, then you have to tell him... and then divorce him. Don't just screw the neighbor! (even though it may feel good for the short-term) Think about his wife and how she'll feel. Good luck! :o)

Answer 4

That's something you can't control. Try to detox yourself from your neighbor, and think about all the reasons why you fell in love with your husband in the first place. Does he make you laugh? What about your children? Do you want to have their childhood be ultimatley confusing for the things you have done in the neighborhood. Your neighbor and his wife are probably happy together, and you should spend more time with your family to wash out the thought you have about your neighbor. Go see a movie and hang out with your co-workers and friends. Just not your neighbor.

Answer 5

Aw, honey I know how you feel. I had a really great bf for a long time, then started fantasizing about his friend. If you can do it, imagine your husband is this guy next door. You might have to really work on it, but it helps. If it doesn't work, talk to your husband about working out together or starting a mutual hobby. Get closer to him, and if all else fails, run like hell. Just DON"T cheat. Good luck.

Answer 6

So now youre gonna ruin your neighbors marriage too. How wrong of you. What if you were newly married to your husband, you used to love.....and your new neighbor was going after your husband. Yea, you wouldnt like it would you? What youre doing is wrong, Im sorry. No other word for it.

Answer 7

You need to fess up to your husband so you don't do it anymore and then y'all need to head on off to counseling. You should be thinking of how you can make things better in your marriage and not how to steal some other woman's husband.

We all have these feelings at one point or another, it's just how to get through it that is the difficult part.

Good Luck with Everything!

Answer 8

Well what does your husband think about you? Are you a princess charming? You should leave your husband because you probably never had feelings for him. I don't think the hot neighbor with his hot young wife will want to be with you.

Answer 9

You need to leave him alone. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's happy with her that's why he's married to her. Don't be a home wrecker. Yes it is wrong what your trying to do. It sounds like your obsessed with him to the point that your befriending his wife just to get next to him. If your not happy with your own marriage then get out of it and find someone else that is single and just as hot. Because just think if he is willing to cheat on his wife with you so easily with you then if you two ended up together what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you. Serioulsy you need to get over this obsession you have with him.

Answer 10

Take a cold shower and then talk to your husband about marriage counseling. But if you really don't want to be with your husband any more, get a divorce. And forget about Mr. Sexy - don't ruin their marriage just because yours has hit a rough spot.