A little girl sits in a car,
Her friends all wave, they're not that far,
A tear falls down her cheek,
Her parents say its only a week.
But judging by the luggage sack,
she doubts if she'll ever be back.
2006-09-22 09:27:20 · 24 answers · asked by nicola 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Its touching I have a little girl. When I use to drive her to meet her dad for the weekend she would cry especially when I got out her luggage. I think its wonderful. Keep up the good work and keep on writing you have talent.
2006-09-22 15:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by coomergirl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is nice, I write poems too, have done for a few years, but I find that I enjoy writing them more tham reading them. This sounds more like the lyrics to a song, you have to remember to count syllables etc though to make sure the poem flows.
2006-09-22 09:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by The Way 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a really sweet poem. It would be a lot nicer if you could expand on it and explain it a little. It's a good start for it though.
2006-09-22 09:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by dixiebabe2383 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wonderfull!! It's very well written, and it makes you want to know more. Turn it into a short story!! It's Great!!
2006-09-22 09:36:56 · answer #4 · answered by jessica s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got tingles up my spine, which is a sure-fire sign that it's a great, touching poem. So therefore...I loved it! Keep writing.
2006-09-22 09:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Smiles Like She Means It 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think poems are stupid but i guess yours was ok. i just don't understand why people have to write all that crap when they could easily say what they wanna say and get to the freakin point. it would make it alot easier for everyone else
2006-09-22 09:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by wuteverittakes 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that is very good...maybe you could extend it a little to get it to a point of where she returns and it has a happy ending...just a suggestion.
2006-09-22 09:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch.
2006-09-23 14:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's fairly good. U have the rhyme down!
2006-09-22 09:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sheryl R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
rrrrrrrrr its lovely shame its not longer i wanted to read more hehe keep it up uve got talent there!!!
2006-09-22 09:32:44 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋