My son's best friend got suspended today for bringing a weapon to school, how do I discuss this with my son?

Question

My son's best friend got suspended today for bringing a weapon to school because he was being bullied everyday and was tired of it. I am not sure how to handle this with my son. Both the boys are very shy, and reserved. They hang out together with 1 other boy, not part of the "popular" crowds. This other boy has been friends with my son for as long as I can remember and is very sweet and a joy to be around, I just feel he got backed into a corner and didn't know how to get out. They are in middle school, and the school has a no bullying policy, but still kids are afraid to go to teachers for fear of retailiation. I have no clue how to approch this with my son, any ideas?

Let me clarify something also, we have discussed bullying before this. my son was bullied last year and came home and talked with us, we went in together and talked with the school. My question was more, How should I discuss what his friend has done. Sorry bout the confusion.

Answer 1

If it were my son I would go to him and ask him how he felt about his friend carrying a gun. I would ask him if he could think of a better way to handle the problem. After you have heard his feelings he will probably be willing to listen to yours.
unfortunately trying to get the teachers to do anything may not help. I some schools the teachers are just as afraid as the students.

Answer 2

This is one of the most difficult things to deal with. What I did, over fifty years ago, was to befriend one of the most agressive youngsters in school. And, in the afternood, I followed a large group of Mexican students walking to their homes which was in the direction I had to go.

It was like following a car thorough a crowd, I just kept in the opening behind the group walking ahead of me.

If you happen to know an older boy, tough himself, in the same school, you might encourage this boy to watch over your son discretely, and directly if needed. Pay the kid in some way for his interest. Whatever you can do to help without making your son's life more difficult.

If the school was serious about this no bullying policy, it would hire toughts to beat the stuffing out of bullies... and thus give some teeth to their policy.

Actually, it might not be a bad idea for parents to get together and literally hire some bigger kids as safety patrolmen. This would be a reasonably inexpensive way to balance the school yard.
Peace

Answer 3

ask your son what his views on this how thing is!
that way you can see where he is at!
i'm sure the boys are sweet! but comeone bringing a weapon to school!
can't say i blame the kids not going to the teachers! I think what you could do is enroll you child in marchel arts of some form! to teach them the "Laws" of defense...
that would be the best way that way your son won't need a weapon if it comes to that! he will know how to handle it...
Would be a bad idea to talk to your sons friends parents to do the same!
Mad luv

Answer 4

Well this is a hard situation I mean people these days can be very cruel I dont want to say the wrong thing and make things worse but I would give him the old fashion talk that you know if you have a problem come talk to me or defend yourself but don't bring a weapon to school or tell them to talk to the principal or teacher to avoid it from happening to another person.

Answer 5

I'm guessing this boy has been driven to the edge.

Ask your local police department if they have a program that takes groups of kids thru the morgue. Most times they only see feet with tags and sheets but the smell itself will scare the kids and make them realize that dead is dead.
Your son and his friend should realize that guns are not the solution and that death is not glamorous and guns are deadly.

This friend needs counseling. You must talk to his parents/parent and make sure that he gets it. You don't want your son to be part of a "get even" attack by association.

Answer 6

I would tell your son exactly what you wrote here: that you feel that your son's friend is a good kid, and that you feel he got backed into a corner. Then add that if your son gets to feeling like that, that you hope he'll come to you FIRST, and that you are willing to go to bat for him at the school if the teachers aren't going to do anything about it.

Answer 7

that is no longer suitable if it grew to become into hid or no longer. Bringing a knife to college is reason for suspension. A knife isn't a melee weapon, it may kill somebody purely as quite as a gun can. even in the journey that your have faith your son and his friends would on no account injury somebody with their knives is beside the point. there's a nil tolerance for any form of merchandise that would kill somebody. you could attempt to take this to a greater respected whether it probable won't do you any sturdy. the protection of the babies in college comes first and your son probable knew it grew to become into against college regulations to hold that knife to college, why would he have had it hid in any different case. He knew he grew to become into breaking the regulations and so his punishment could stand. persons are killed daily by making use of knives and various circumstances by making use of somebody maximum does no longer anticipate would do any injury to somebody else.

Answer 8

By now your son probably knows already. Bring it up casually by asking if he knows anything about it, see if you can get some insight as to what happened from a similar perspective. You might even hear the friend's side through your child. I'm sure from there you're able to talk about it openly.

Answer 9

Middle school and you have to discuss it? Too late, if that is the case. You have already lost him.

Tell him he is a little kid he will grow up fast enough and not to follow the crowd, he knows right from wrong, unless you totally failed him. If so, tell him not too much salt on the fries, as he adjusts his paper hat.

Answer 10

Tell your son that you better not see him with his best friend again and if you do, then give him a good woopin he'll learn who are the right people to hang around with.