Long Long question! Plase Help! Should I get a Restraining Order? Should I give him a chance. am I in danger?

Question

This guy while intoxicated who I don't know threatened to punch me while drunk. I sent him the following. He lives in my dorm a floor up.

09.20.06 11:29pm Randi: I'm just sad cause I meet you and you seem like such a cool person and I was excited to come up and visit you and ryan. You really scared me that night and made me cry. i'm really upset if thats how you feel cause i really like who you are. i'm upset you have bad feelings agenist me, but i was really upset and still shanken by some of the things which were sayed. I hope we can still be friends i would like 2 know why u have these bad feelings?

From: David
To: Randi
Subject: re: I ******* hate you
Message: if you ever think about coming over to see ryan, you had better make sure that i am not here. you ******* piss me of so bad; i almost broke my knuckels last weekend and i dont know what i might try to break next time. just dont ever let me see you again!!!

I'm scared. The police got involved. see more detials.

I showed the person in charge of the dorms and he called the cops for harassment. They yelled at him and they said the reason they got him saying this for was because whenever he saw me he felt ignored. (I am a relatively pretty girl I am always nice 2 everyone, and I have seen this boy like 3 time)

I am scared my parents are scared for me, I have never been threatened to be physically harmed by a boy. I am like 109 pounds and he is about 423. The police say I can get a restraining order but he would be kicked out of the school. The man said if I don’t do that he can be kicked out of the dorms but I might still see him on campus. He wrote a bull **** apology. I am scared what should I do.

Please if you read this give your opinion this is the scariest thing that’s every happened to me…

I Really don't want to destroy someone life by getting them kicked out of school. but i am scared in my dorm and my family is scared for me. It's been a hard 2 days

yes i am living in a dorm, i tryed to forget about the events because he was drunk but i sent that letter after he sent a sober message to me going off about how he hated me and I get upset and wanted to know what made him so mad. 4 the people who thinks havin a biggest guy threatening to hurt you is a laughing matter

Answer 1

Wow, that sucks.

This guy is a psycho with his own problems -- he will probably not last much longer in school. My bet is that this situation resolves itself (by him getting himself kicked out of school or put in jail) within the year. You stick to your studies and make something of yourself -- you have a future.

You did the right thing by getting the dorm supervisor and police involved. Now he knows that everyone knows to look at him if anyone ever starts anonymously harrassing you at school. Just don't have any in-person dealings with him from now on and you'll most likely be fine (nothing in life is 100% certain). If you want to meet with your friend Ryan, do so in a common area of the dorm or the library, etc -- so if mr. psycho comes by, there will be witnesses and he won't be able to say that you approached him and started trouble, etc.

You have the documentation of his past threats to you -- you probably don't need to get a restraining order immediatley if he doesn't hassle you any more, and you can use the documentation to support your case for a restraining order if he ever does hassle you again (but double-check this with the police or a municipal court judge to be sure -- laws differ from state to state).

Also remember that your slender 109lb figure can run a lot faster than his 400+lb fat @$$ so just don't let him get close enough to you that you can't get away. You might want to consider taking some martial arts classes (you'd be surprised what a 109-lb athletic person with some training can do to a 400-lb moron). If you can get away with it in the dorms and on campus, one of those mugger zappers or a can of mace carried in a hidden spot on your person will also take the fight out of him. He is just a punk, and they can't take the pressure when put to the test.

Answer 2

Seriously i would do the restraining order i do not care if he gets kicked out of school bc you got to think about the other kids who go to that school HE has a major problem with anger. He can pull the same stunt he is pulling with you to someone else if he keeps going to that school I would do it you were nice about it and he was A JERK back so it was not bc he was drunk it is bc he has a MAJOR ANGERMENT PROBLEM. so he does need help but the only way you can help him is to show him that his behavor is not acceptable to you and on the campas. I Would get that restraining order bc He has threaten you and that is the only thing that will keep him away from you and even if he does come and you do call the cops they will come way faster if you tell them that you have restraining order against him and he came to you.

i am so sorry this happen to you. I hope my answer helps you any way.
good luck

Answer 3

If everything you say is true, then it shouldn't make a bit of difference to you whether or not he gets kicked out of school or not. In other words, the police were already involved. Surely he knows that if you take out a restraining order, he 'may be kicked out of school....Therefore his behavior is primarily HIS problem. Not yours. You could also go to the school authorities. Let them intervene to assure your rights against this person who has threatened to harm you.
Whatever you decide to do, just remember that this person has threatened you. He's already let you know that he :almost broke [my] knuckles last weekend" and he didn't "know what [I] might try to break next time:....Do whatever you have to do in order to distance yourself from this person.
.and do it now.

Answer 4

get the retraining order,

The other guy Ryan knows about this? Why would he just stand idly by when a guy is threatening to punch a lady? unless you hit him first, which you never said you did, then he has no right to threaten to hit you.

If i was there watching some guy threatening to hit a woman, i would end up with prison time for manslaughter, or attempted murder.

Threatening a lady is something that most of us guys do not tolorate, and i am surprised that no one else has stood up to his punk ***, i don't care how big he is, me and my friends would break his knees, then continue to beat him on the ground, he has no respect, he deserves no respect

EDIT: pain made me beautiful, maybe she is too smart to put a pic up as that is a good way to attract a stalker. and does it matter if she is pretty or not? quit being so materialistic


It doesn't matter if you 'destroy" his life, it sounds like he is doing good enough of a job at destroying it himself

Answer 5

If a guy said he was going to punch me, I would not have even sent the first letter to him. You did the right thing by going to the police. If you are really scared, get him kicked out of the dorm. Do your best to stay away from him.

Answer 6

I have a daughter who at a younger age was with a guy who took her to his apartment.
He had a friend living with him at the time and was there when she arrived.

I knew one of the guys from business.
I was called by him to come and pick her up, which I did.

She was in a scuffle with the one who was at home when she arrived.

They were gay lovers!
When I arrived, the one was still hostile. Screaming about her and his lover.

She was a threat.

Answer 7

talk to the dean, the RA and to this guy's roommate. I thought all colleges had a group that convened on matters like this ? ( keep all evidence for the police and States Attorney) Keep in mind, you are going to school on your parents dime. Ask them.
Peace of mind will help your grades and mental health.
Let me know what happens, honestly, don't keep this silent from your roommate in case something happens.

Answer 8

This is very ?????????Who r u friends with? U may be intruding without even knowing it. Just stay away unless u r invited ok. and really u may be intruding and it i s good judgment to really be honest with urself why this started because it is very serious in terms of someones education He really sounds like he just wants u to back off.. If his roommate wants to be friends see him outside the apt. Just dont get stuck in the middle ok Some guys enjoy that. Be careful u r not being played by them both Good luck Curious

Answer 9

You sound like you are 11 to 12 years old.

You live in a dorm? And you send e-mail to drunken guys about how "sad" you are? lol.

Sorry, but this is some funny ****.

I call bullshit on you sweetie.

Answer 10

I think you should take action (like moving out of there) before something worse happens. It may not, but to ere on the side of caution is better than being hurt (or even dead).