hello everyone hope you are all fine, I decided to split from ex husband after bein fed up of being hurt, abused and smacked me around, he still came to see the lil one supervised, he told me hed changed, and would provide for me and the lil one insted of living of me, promised not hurt me any more, i noticed that he'd changed and didnt blame me for the debt he was in and didnt use me for money, and had started to respect me, i agreed to give it a try, he is working and I live of uni loan, i am having a really bad time with my finances, and had managed to save up some money to pay my bills, otherwise the debt collectors would be on my back. today he said he was going out, and would be bak in 30 mins, an hour after he went i called him an had no response, i then realised that he has taken all my money for my bills. i no its my fault for letting him in i hate myself, how could I have been so stupid, i let me and my child down what should i do? I no for real that its over but feel so hurt
2006-09-22 08:51:47 · 22 answers · asked by sweetlikehoney_73 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to everyone who has read/ replyed, thankyou all so much, what you have all said is so tru and has helped me so much , already I feel better, good bless you all and keep you happy, you will all be remmembered in me and my childs prayers, thankyou all so much for understanding!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-22 09:24:34 · update #1
Honey, you need to quit feeling so low. At least you recognize that he's a jerk and abuser. You need to talk to friends and/or see a counselor to give yourself some support (other than your own thoughts). You and your child are more important. You will make it. It will take time and dedication but nothing is impossible if you have faith and can get some support (emotional, physical, mental) from friends, family, or a therapist of some kind.
I've been in a relationship that was mental abuse and it took me a long time to break free. Once I made the choice though it was easy.
You have made the hardest decision - by leaving him. Everything will be easier from here on out. Just get some support!
2006-09-22 08:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor girl. I'm so sorry.
There is one thing you said that I completely disagree with, you have not let your child down. You are being a good mother, you are managing you finances and looking after your child and yes you're strugling through it, but its not your fault, you'r childs father isn't giving you an ounce of support. You're doing it all alone and you're coping very well. Do not think that you are a bad mother. You are young and coping with so many different things, its not fair on you, but you're doing it, and you're being a great mother at the same time. You will find a way back on your feet, you're looking for a job and you'll find one soon, you'll be able to pay off all your bills and look after your child. Your child will appreciate everything that you are doing for it so much one day, when it is old enough, I guarantee this.
Isn't there anyone who can help you out? Like relatives or friends or something?
Please don't think that this is your fault, none of it is, you are being wonderful and you're doing so much even though you're in such an awful situation.
Everything will work out for you in time. I know it will.
2006-09-22 16:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by lakmii 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aaaahhhh, you poor thing. It's not your fault and don't you dare blame yourself. He made the choice to steal from you and your child you didnt make him do it, but that is what he has chosen to do. If i were you i would shock him big time now and call the police. he has stolen money from you and that is what he needs to realise that he has stolen money from his own childs mouth. What ever that money was for, whether bills, food or a night out for you with your friends HE has stolen it and i personally think anyone who can do that is a low life. What ever his problems and no matter how much he has stolen is not the point. You gave him another chance when not many women would have and this is how he has chosen to repay you? Lose him honey and find the strength in yourself to kick his sorry *** out. You deseve better but you will never find it while you hang on to him when he is obviously bringing you down. I know its hard to let go esp. if you love him and you believe you can be there for him and he won't do it anymore, but you can't change him if he can't do it for himself. Think of your child and promise yourself the next man who you will love will love and repsect you and your family.
I hope you can past this and i believe you are strong and will get over him and his lies and stealing. You are smart and you will leave him when you are truly ready. I hope you will be ok and get your cash back off him. But remember he has let your child down not you. He has.
Good luck to you and i wish you well.
2006-09-22 19:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by 2plus3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact the YWCA right away and ask for sources of agencies that support women being abused. U r really being taken for a ride.First dont doubt yourself any more and get ready to be strong. The first step is u know what is going on. The second step is getting support on getting out and staying out. Your problem may be u cannot believe someone u love so much could do this to u, STOP LOOKING to him to make it better that will just lead to more abuse. Really good luck, Curious 2006
2006-09-22 16:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by Curious 2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must not blame yourself for the actions of someone who is spineless.How could someone do that to a mother and child-HIS child.I really do hope you get the help you so desperately need now,and that the debt collectors are sympathetic to your plight.I hope your x dies of cancer--soon.Your child is much better off without a spineless creature like him-you both deserve better,i hope you get sorted soon.
2006-09-22 18:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are hurt. But now it's time to be strong. You will NOT take him back no matter what. You will do what you need to get more financial stability so that you will never have to be dependent on a freak like him again. The next time you get into a relationship, it will be with a man that respects you. You are your own maker. Use the power you have in you. Be strong.
2006-09-22 15:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by just browsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my dear things could be worse my ex did me really dirty when she left we were buying a new home, i paid for it all in cash upfront. had saved for my own home since i was a kid. anyway i was working alot at the time and had her take care of everything. she went back and picked up the check i used to buy the house told them that we decided not to get it. then cashed the check but let me believe that all was going as it was supposed to. any way to make a long story short she took 200,000 in cash and my pay check left me broke and no place to live we had been together for 8 years i thought i knew her . if you would like to talk feel free to email me
2006-09-22 16:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by steamroller98439 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, he's taken your bill money for this week/month and thats very inconvenient but hell.... it'll be paid eventually even if money is tight - don't let it get you down - the good part is - HE'S DISSAPPEARED - YEAH!!!! I think that's a small price to pay to get out of an abusive situation.
You could report him to the police, and whatever you do, don't let him back in your life if and when he turns back up xxx
2006-09-22 18:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been there done that... look at it this way, you paid to have a cockroach removed from your home. you know how nasty those bugs r right? there r a million guys out there to treat u like ****, why limit yourself to this one? all u can do now is set a good example 4 kids by living well, working hard and believe me the best revenge is to live well without him.. best of luck... last note, put word out to next vicctims of his on the net!!!!
2006-09-22 16:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mark this one as a lesson learned. Brush yourself off, get back on your feet and forget about him forever.
Get out there and find a job and think of only two things, yourself and your child. Leave everything else behind you. Hope this helps
2006-09-22 15:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by six7foru 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋