Sensitive Race Question?

Question

Myself & wife and both white. (Clarifying) My wife has taught at a school that is now nearly all black for the past 19 years. When she first started teaching there it was about 5% black and slowly white flight has happened. It makes no difference to me or my wife..we both love all children no matter what race. Here's my question: My wife in the past 9 years has been so abused by black parents and their racism against white people that it has her in tears at least twice a week. A parent came into her class room the other day as was yelling at her over something stupid and called her a ***** cracker woman (this girl is a 20 years old with a 6 year old child) parents routinely ask the office if their child could be moved to a black teachers class room. My wife loves children and has been called every ugly racist name in the book...children that are 5 years old tell her white people are bad people...this is being taught to 3-4 year olds to be racist.

What can be done?

Answer 1

your not going to like my answer.

You can not now or ever do anything about this. YOU don't have the power to modify OTHER peoples behavior or belief systems.

These people are going to be blunt hatefull brutes. This is the crap that the leaders of the black community have taught them. Yet some how your the pig because your the wrong color.

Move and get a new job. These fine god fearing go to church on sunday people are not the ones you need to be waisting your time with.

There are few jobs in this world (including teaching) that are so important that you put up with coming home crying on a regular basis. Let the black 20 year old teach the class. Find another job, turn in your notice and go.

Let me put it another way. Why would you want to be where your not welcome? Why would you go out on a date with some one you knew detested you? Why would you want to go to a party where you were NOT welcome? Why would you stick your hand in an alligators mouth? Why would a white woman teach black kids in any school that had racist black parents? If she is any good, she should be able to get a job else where...if she stays much longer there will be a load of complaints against her and then she will have trouble getting a better job else where. Get gone now. She needs to get out so a black teacher can get in. Thats what they want so give it to them.

Answer 2

Transferring will not solve your wife's problem. I teach at a pretty rough middle school in Brooklyn, NY and I believe that the best way to fight racism is to prove them wrong. It is always rough at the beginning of the school year. The parents don't know you yet and can find reasons to not trust you. The fact that you come from a different cultural background is the first thing about you that they automatically notice.

However, as the year goes on, when you do your job, set a good example in class, don't tolerate any kind of disrespect, keep calling parents to discuss bad AND GOOD situations, it all starts to fall into place. It takes time to earn their trust, but when you keep going and fighting to do what's best for their child, they can usually tell that you care and it is appreciated.

The bottom line is that not every parent is going to like you. That happens at any school no matter how good of a teacher you are. You have to learn to not take it personally and just keep going. It is never easy, but we have to just keep going.

Answer 3

The best thing your wife can do is change the ideas her own students have towards racism. It's as simple as playing devil's advocate until they begin contradicting themselves.

As far as the way parents treat her, she needs to address her concerns with her principal. The principal needs to be 100% supportive of her and put parents in their place whenever they say inappropriate things. While I can understand the desire for a black parent to want their child to be taught by a black teacher, it's simply unacceptable to call a teacher names as a result. If a white parent were to have done this and dropped the N-bomb, all Hell would surely break loose.

Should situations arise in the future with parents, your wife should remain calm. She should never raise her voice, but she shouldn't back down from her stance either. Some black Americans know that many white people are intimidated by them and abuse this power. In other countries where racism is not the issue du jour, these same black Americans are not allowed to behave that way. If a parent is verbally abusive towards your wife, she should end the meeting immediately. "While I can appreciate your frustration, I will not allow you to call me names and use inappropriate language. If you cannot talk to me in a civilized manner, then I cannot continue this conversation with you."

It sucks that your wife is going through this. Sometimes parents react without thinking, regardless of the problem/situation. Until we teachers stand up for ourselves, parents will continue to push us around.

Answer 4

That's a tough one. I would suggest your wife change jobs, if you're crying about work, time to find a new job, but that's not really the question you're asking and really none of my business.

When you have 14 yr olds raising children you're gonna have some ignorance. People want to blame their pathetic horrible lives on everything but the choices they have made that got them there. So making the White man the devil is just like cavemen creating gods to explain why the sun travelled across the sky. It makes it easier to excuse the misery of their lives.

Here's the justice (or injustice) these poeple are going to perpetuate their cycle of ignorance, they teach their children who teach their children and so on. They probably want to move their children to black teachers because your wife challenges them too much, so they will never learn.

Unfortunately, education is not embraced by that community, so we can't teach them. The only real way to stop it is eradication and I'm not willing to do that, so we live with it.

Answer 5

these are just ignorant uneducated people.I cannot believe they treat your wife like that its an absolute disgrace.these people are sick, they are so narrow minded, people like that really incandesce me, they are low lifes who will never achieve anything in life, if they continue with their attitudes.I am really surprised, i am intrigued to know what school she teaches is it america or england.
you know what, just because you are decent people, people can't stand the fact that you and your wife have made something out of yourself.
I am a mixed raced teenager, and i cannot tolerate racism in any shape or form, the thing that really annoys me, is that some black people go on people being racist and yet they are the worst.They are narrow minded, people who need to be educated.obviously when these 5 yr olds are calling your wife names, you have to think about how uneducated the parents, are, they must have not being raised in the correct manner other wise they wouldn't behave the way they do.what we need to do is stop racsim all together it doesn't achieve anything.the fact that we are living in the 21st century and yet racism is still rife within all communites.I think we need to change this because people who are racist are only spreading hatred. the fact that people don't educate their children or anyone of age, that someones colour shouldn't change you opinion of them.when we all cuts ourselves do we bleed the same colour yes....its just a colour. I am talking from personal experience, as i am mixed raced, and I have been called all the names under the sun, i've had complete strangers shout names at me for no apparent reason.the best thing to do is ignore uneducated people, because they want a reaction, if they call me a name i don't take it to heart, because i don't go home at the end of the night with a problem.only they do, society needs to change andd people need re educating.ty mshX
HOWEVER ONE THING I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE RACE THE HUMAN RACE, ITS MERELY THE COLOUR PEOPLE HAVE THE PROBLEM WITH.

Answer 6

HOW AWFUL IS THAT!?! First of all, let me say that I am multi-racial but mostly african american. I'm mixed with black, white and american indian but I'm fair skin. I have to agree with your comment because I wonder the very same thing. I used to work for this ANGRY black woman who would be so rude to our white co-workers. It would drive me crazy. She would smile in their face but if they came in five minutes late, she would make comments like "those white people make me sick, they think that because they are better than us then they can stroll in here all late, that is why us black people need to stick together and if we don't be careful those Mexicans are going to pass us up" (I swear these were her words). NO ONE implied they were better, she just found a way to make race an issue about everything! The sad part is I think there are more racist african americans. They feel that the world is against them and that there is some sort of competition to be better. It's crazy. My sister is that way at times, she will make comments like, I don't want to hear that white song! or she will mock how proper some white people are and I just hate it! It's not right because my sister can make these comments but if someone where to say the same comments and flip it...she would be ready to fight. Now, how does that make it right? It doesn't! Unfortunately, some people don't have manners or good human relation skills. My advice would be for your wife to do an exercise with the kids where they write down each student's name on a piece of paper and next to their name, they write one thing they like about that person, include your wife's name so the kids can write something positive about her too. MUST BE POSITIVE. At the end, the kids will all have positive answers about each other and your wife can read the positive comments back for each child so they feel equally good. After that, tell her to ask the kids how good it felt to hear something good about themselves, tell them that from now on we will only talk positively about each other and that includes the teacher (your wife). After that, if the kids make rude comments, send them to the office and inform the staff of the langauge used, a meeting may need to be set up with the principal, the teacher AND the parents (because this is a serious problem). We need to start letting parents know that this behavior will NOT be tolerated. In order to cut the chain, you need to cut the link. Sorry for the long response but this is a very passionate subject. I hope my advice helps. And tell your wife that not all african american people are that way, just keep on loving those kids because that is what they need most, someone who really cares enough to correctly educate them.

Answer 7

Unfortunately nothing can be done about racism. I, too have nothing against people of color, creed, or religion. Most men and woman who are racist are because of ignorance and upbringing. The only thing I can suggest is contacting the school board and see about transferring or set up a parent/teacher meeting to address these issues. Have your wife explain to the parents about her love for teaching and education no matter what color the students are. I hope this helps in someway.

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Answer 8

I feel for you wife. She needs the back up of the administration. Never should a child be transferred from her class simply because a parent doesn't want a white teacher teaching their child. Parent/teacher/principle conferences should be called for and it should be made clear to the parents that they are not to abuse any of the faculty. If the parents have a problem with that, it's their perogative to move their child to a different school.

Answer 9

Unfortunately racism and bigotry has existed for centuries and appears to be still alive and well. Education and exposure appear to be the only things that work to even begin to make a dent in it. Her living by example could be one of the best things she is already doing, altho the toll on her seems high. Perhaps she could have a meeting with the parents of her students. Explain her philosophy of teaching and her views on diversity. I'm so sorry she is going through this. It is so hard to find dedicated teachers these days, one would think those who have survived as long as your wife would be rewarded, not vilified.

Answer 10

Absolutely nothing. Isn't that sad? The only way to solve the problem is to educate the ignorant and broadening other people's prospective. However, very few people would bother to do either. So, your wife is in a jam. Obviously, the 20 year old mother is ignorant. The teachings she passes down to her children will be narrow-minded.