I am starting to loose a lot of weight and I get way to much attention. I walk 2 or 3 blocks and at least 4 or 5 people stare or turn or make comments. I was fat for this reason, but it was becoming very unhealthy. I feel as if I am naked walking down the street when people react like they do. I am a very confident person and don't rely on other people to determine my self-worth but I am still human. I need advice on the best way to deal with this besides making myself heavier again.
2006-09-22 08:25:31 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Skin & Body
I asked this question on Yahoo answers because the answers I recieved are the reason why I don't have female friends and why I don't ask real women in real life. It is sad that we can't be supportive of one another and encouraging instead of making rude nasty comments. This is what I look like http://www.myspace.com/ricodiva
And we are not taking about a lot of weight lost but enough to go from chunky to more toned. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say anything at all. As far as dressing and make-up goes, I am fairly conservative.
2006-09-22 08:33:16 · update #1
As far as some of my myspace pictures go... I do not dress like that in real life... that is just for modeling...honestly... this is a serious question and a serious forum. If you are insulted by the question or don't like the question than let others be and don't answer. To those offering real insight, thank you. Every positive answer has been very useful.
2006-09-22 10:48:20 · update #2
It happens to me too. I hate when people stare at me,mostly guys because I'm married and my husband would get jealous. What I do when it happens to me,is feel proud that at lest I'm pretty. Do that feel proud that people look at you because you are pretty and be confident. Don't gain the weight again that is going to make you feel worst. Keep up the good work.
2006-09-22 08:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry about the people who are insensitive, maybe they are jealous. Who knows? I am proud of you for losing the weight!!
What ever you do-- just don't let it go to your head. By this I mean, don't let the attention change you. Stay confident, and keep your standards set to your specifications. Don't let a little attention make you do things you wouldn't have otherwise. Do watch the way you dress, and don't be provocative. You can still be attractive without that.
I do know where you are coming from. I wasn't big when I was younger, but I was "different" from everyone in other ways. Needless to say, when I changed the "differences," I started getting a lot of attention, some of it was the wrong kind of attention. I could have let that "flip my dress tail," as they say, but I knew who I was, and that the attention is short lived, but mistakes stay with you, sometimes forever. Didn't want that to happen to me. So, while you are pretending that you don't know you are pretty, and that people are staring, you can enjoy turning heads. But!!! And this is a big one! Be confident but not cocky, be modest about your new found beauty/body. Nobody likes a show-off, or a person with the "don't you wish you had what I've got" attitude. Stay sweet, because the inner attitude is everything. Some really big people are the prettiest, because the inner girl is beautiful.
Whatever else you put on, don't forget to put on these:
Character . Wisdom . Strength . Dignity . Grace . Love . Laughter .
2006-09-22 08:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by savannah 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two possible reasons come to mind. First, Social Phobia, a common mood disorder that can be so threatening that some people can not even leave their house or go anywhere there is strangers or a crowd of people that you do not know and it can impact your health, job, marriage, friendships, relations with family and so on in a very negative way.
Social Phobia, or fear of others, is the most common form of mental health in America.
You can do something about it, in fact, you can do many things about these painful experiences. First, seek out a good therapist like a recommended Clinical Psychologist.
If the first one you talk to does not help you, find the right one of out there, it maybe a woman or a man.
Second, you maybe suffering from a symptom caused by a traumatic event or events like childhood abuse, or any other terribly frighting experience. It can be as seemingly insignificant as a parent or other authority figures embarrassing or emotionally making you feel "less-than", smaller, unworthy or any of these types of feelings.
Get counseling for whatever reason you are suffering, you can change what is happening but you have to understand it somewhat. Good Luck
2006-09-26 07:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been there for sure. You'll likely get strange answers to your question from people who will want to take a jab at you. I wasn't very attractive in high school but "bloomed" if you can call it that, in college. I was the strangest thing because I was indifferent to it, so in my eyes it seemed it was everyone else that changed. I had a hard time dealing with the fact that it seemed that strangers reacted to me in one of two ways. Either they were overly familiar and showered too much attention on me, or would giggle, whisper, and point me out to their friends and be too shy to speak directly to me. Being an attractive man meant that whatever I said was suddenly far more important. However, and girlfriend who bloomed late in life suddenly was treated as being dumb. After a few years of this I just decided that I would no longer let it affect me and simply ignored peoples reaction to me. Many people have far bigger problems than being too attractive. Now when I'm running errands and shopping I wear glasses, a ball cap and old junky clothes. Good luck!
2006-09-22 09:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by trentmrlowe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issue! I get alot of attention and I am not conceited, I am rather shy and would LOVE to hide under a rock instead of being gawked at and whistled to. I feel like an object rather than a person just trying to either run some errands or whatever.
I HATE BEING LOOKED AT.
I think it has something to do with self esteem. I guess I am really not answering your question, but I am just letting you know that there are other people out there like you and I feel what you are deal'n with!
Hope we can both get over this!!!
2006-09-22 08:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by midnitestar82 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should be flattered that you are noticed, it's good that you feel good about yourself, just try and ignor it if you can. I am flattered if someone whistles or pays me a compliment as it makes you feel better so i'm not sure why you would think that a bad thing, but then i stand out a mile to get noticed, maybe you have something that makes you stand out. Find out what is you're best asset and work it!
2006-09-22 09:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by missy minx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Smile when they do it. When I lost weight and a carload of girls drove by and hooted at me, it was flattering. I knew in a group of any drunken girls or a group of any guys will holler at anything that walks pasts.
What is really kick me in the *** and what you have to be prepared for is stares from your own relatives. After losing 80 pounds, after years of being called fat, I was suddenly being called too thin, the third Olson sister, etc. I was shocked. YOu really can't please everyone. So enjoy the nice cheers while they last :)
2006-09-22 08:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by Rockford 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dont make urself heavy again!believe me,its not the answer.ive walked for excercise for 20 years,and let me tell u-men comment.i HATE it,ive even HIT people who annoyed me(dont do that can,get u killed!),and ITS NOT UR APPEARANCE.its an obnoxious power/control thing siome men have.when i was thin and young in my teens,20's,early 30's.,i consoled myself that one day,the comments would stop-fat chance ! yes,u can be overweight,in ur mid 40's,and assholes still say"hey baby,wanna go out" one ,when told i was married and to leave me alone,said"soooo-are u happily married?"so,sadly,i dont think any thing from the begining of time can stop some men from acting like jerks.and,having been several sizes in the c ourse of my life,u dont have to be young or thin to attract attention.i have never felt"flattered"by this.it should be my right to walk without being harassed,but there seems no escaping it.sorry this is a downer-i didnt even walk today,cause some neighbors are used to my various routes,and come out dawging me-this is awful,will it happen when im 75?so,dont get fat,it wont help.im considering mall walking.or taking my husband along.well,good luck.i think its so unfair.ps-people here have been very mean to you.it comes down to the fact that you feel what i feel-unwanted and very vocal sexual attention is an assault.its like a rape.when u walk,no one is saying"lovely sweater u have on",or "nice weather,isnt it?" which would sinal polite interest,and wanting to get to know u as a person.these certainly can be responded to nicely.but ur getting the comments i get-"hey,wanna **** me?" "hey'ur hot whats ur phone number?" "NIce ****.NIce ***">it is this level of disrespect tha tinfuriates me.i have the right,as all women do,to walk in a public place without comments that are sexual and abrasive.nor are u "fishing for compliments">for the first time,as a young girl,ur facing obtrusively sexual attentions from strangers in the street who think its funny to see u embarassed when they comment in a sexual way about u.i know what ur going thru,and at 46,im not "fishing for compliments'.im trying to live my life with dignity.i dont make sexual comments to random people i walk passed,i expect the same courtesy from them!as for the people who say this is a compliment,wait till they grow up,and someone yells"**** her,i did" when their daughter walks by !(yes,this is one i heard recently about myself.which also calls into question"respecting ones elders"-would that boy have wanted his mom or grandmother adressed that way?
2006-09-22 08:42:09 · answer #8 · answered by Lyn K 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If these are strangers cat-calling at you, I would ignore it. However if these are people you know, I would tell them that I do not appreciate what they're doing, and that you would prefer it if they left you alone. One thing that could totally help you not hear all the comments and such would be a pair of headphones playing your favorite songs! Best of luck to you.
2006-09-22 08:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by Awesomeness!!! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get over yourself! Usually the less attractive girls have more self esteem then the more beautiful ones. Sounds like you're stuck on yourself. I'll bet you're imagining it. The prettiest girls I know are the ones who are unaware of the stares. The least attractive ones I know are the ones who brag. Honey, I saw your real picture and you're not pretty at all. you're quite average. Maybe you need glasses. I think you're imagining these people
2006-09-22 08:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋