Resentful Husband??

Question

Don't know where to begin, some impressions:
1. Planning a date night with him is like pulling teeth.
2. Went on a week long volunteer mission trip (NOT a vacation!!) When I came back, he seemed resentful that I had gone. (So I know the "leave and let him see how much you do all day" approach wouldn't work)
3. He went on a business trip for four days and was fighting on the phone with me on his way home because I couldn't be two places at once.
4. Did the FlyLady system for keeping the house clean, for anyone who knows what that is. Missed one day of my routine and he complains.
5. Asks me to do things in passing that usually he would do, says "Thanks" in a sarcastic way.
6. Two years ago it was pretty bad. Then he got better...
But now recently husband's been acting resentful again.
You know, date nights, flowers, him saying nice things would be..... nice!

Answer 1

Life is short and you only get one go, so you need to make the most of it.

You sound like someone that has a positive attitude to life. Use that positive attitude and channel it into yourself. Make time for yourself and if he is too self-centred to appreciate you, then you really need to re-consider your future together.

Make him see that it is this serious. He has to shape up or ship out; don't let him drag you down.

Answer 2

He sounds like he is just a bit manipulative, if things are not going just how he likes. It sounds like he may be trying to start a fight, he sounds a bit distracted or he might feel that you two have to shorten up the distance between you and he does not know how to do that. He may not see that that's one of the problems, something is bothering him...can you not just come out and tell him what you want from him...or whats going on with us? How about something like "I think you are having an affair or you think I am, other wise honey I really don't know whats up with us"? Direct is usually the best way, address things as they crop up don't let them pile up. " It sounds to me like you are being sarcastic how should I take that comment so and so?" Things like that work for me honest and direct. Guys do so much better if you say what you mean and don't make them read between the lines.

Answer 3

It appears he has some issues to resolve. You sound like an excellent wife, so I can't figure out why he would be so disrespectful to you. I would suggest marriage counseling. Even if he doesn't want to go, there's nothing wrong with you going by yourself while he's at work or away on a business trip. Who knows,it might even help you figure out what's going on, and if this relationship is worth keeping! Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

I think you need to get yourself a copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger. You might be pissed off and think HE needs to learn how to treat his wife, but I guarantee that if you read the book and understand the message, your husband will change 180 degrees and your marriage will see a HUGE improvement.

I know what you're thinking--- that why should you do all the work when it's HIM who needs to change, but believe me- trust me- if you follow the book, you gain total control over your man and you become sooo relaxed, calm, happy, and HE changes to be exactly what you want. TRY it. You will think you have a whole new man. Read the book and give it a real, honest attempt for a few weeks then let me know.

Answer 5

i have a strong feeling he is cheating on u or atleast flirting wth some one else. the romance is gone and so is his love. he takes u for granted and doesnt look like he care much abt ur feelings or concerns,
u do need counselling but i am sure he will refuse. but try any way.i really dont see a happy future for both of u. its a cycle the good then the bad then the ugly then the good again. just end the cycle

Answer 6

Sounds like you two need some time alone. What the heck is FlyLady System, never heard of it

Answer 7

sounds like he is pretty unhappy, maybe you should talk it out and see what is bothering him if that is possible. Maybe he is having an affair or has a personal problem he is having trouble dealing with, maybe just giving him some space might work, good luck. I am divorced and I know some of what you are talking about and if you love him and want to stay married, you find out what it is and work it out.

Answer 8

It sounds like this is just the way that he is. Unfortunetly men won't change for a woman. You will have to accept him the way he is or leave. You could see is he would agree to some marriage counseling to show him how he acts is wrong. Good luck.

Answer 9

Yes, Wilma and I got your back. He needs a swift kick! This helps me when my man is driving me insane: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; ~ Colossians 3:23. I will put it on all the mirrors, the TV, etc. then I can survive.

Answer 10

Maybe he is going through menopaus. I think all men go through it also. We get the worse part but it seems they suffer through it also. If he is still young it just be that time of the month. LOLOLOL Some men get to a certain age and start going through a weird stage. Where is your father or big brother. Let them talk to him.