I Want My Friend Back, After Love Took Over Our Friendship. I Need Help!?

Question

I've been in a friendship for the past 10 months, he became my best friend, and eventually after spending time together all the time, I began having feelings for him. We lived the lives of people in relationships, but he didn't want that. We became intimate and that messed up the friendship even more. Now, we don't spend as much time together, and he has new female friends. I get jealous and take it out on him because I'm scared that they're going to take away my friend. He called me the other night, while he was in the car with a female "accidentally" and hung up. I got mad and text him that I wanted all the money he had just borrowed from me, along with every gift. He got mad, and said that he doesn't understand why I act like that because I'm not his girl and I can't get mad and take my stuff back because of that. He also stated that if I wasn't happy with the friendship, he would be happy with whatever decision I made. I was upset and told him that I was leaving it.

Answer 1

Do you want the complete and honest truth?

You're being selfish.
You seem to think that he owes you something after 10 months of being close friends. What you don't seem to realize is that you were the one that brought emotions into it. Sometimes you have to disregard your feelings in regards to a friendship. Love can be a one-sided affair and perhaps it was this time. Perhaps you need to let go of this affection you have for him. You need to learn to live without him and just find new friends and do different things. Do not act as though your life revolves around his.

Also, you should have never said that you wanted money and gifts that YOU had given to HIM. That's disrespectful to him but mainly yourself. Friends don't do that to one another. When you give something to someone like a gift or money, it's theirs. For instance, i paid for my husband's trip from Cairo to Canada. In a fight, will i ever say he owes me that money? Hell no. It's disrespectful and shows that you lack maturity.

Now he's right... you can't act like you're jealous because you guys aren't together. He doesn't owe you anything. You don't owe him anything.

Now.... what you need to really think about is your friendship. Before the feelings were brought it... how was it? Did you have fun? Could you talk to him about anything and everything? Did you feel comfortable? If the answer to most of these questions is yes, stay in the friendship. You don't want to lose good friends just because you couldn't learn how to deal with your emotions.

Sometimes you need to put yourself aside and realize what would be better for the other person...

Stay friends but live your life.

If you guys aren't meant to be then so be it.

There are others.

Trust me.

And i'm sorry if i came off as rude but the one thing i can offer you is truth.

Answer 2

Once a friendship crosses the line into intimacy, it's usually never the same. I doubt that things can ever go back to the way they were. You need to accept the friendship the way it is or not have the friendship at all.

Answer 3

Technically anything you gave him is now his..........unless there's some sort of written agreement which I doubt exists in this case. But.......I would sit down and explain your feelings to him nearly exactly like you just did to us.......If he doesn't want to come back around.....then he doesn't deserve you.......but try not to go ballistic or go overthetop with the "indian giver" type stuff.

Answer 4

ok thats messed up!well lets see......you've got to swallow your jelousy and call him to have a talk,explain to him wat you feel for him.if he feels the same way then surely you'll reach something but if doesnt feel anything,try to ask for forgiveness for bursting up and try to make him your friend again.men cant handle controlling women like you.try to change for the better.it will work out.
goodluck