For those gay men and lesbians who are or have been in a relationship that would, if gay marriage was allowed everywhere, have led to marriage: do you get bothered when you hear straight people talking about their weddings?
A couple of weeks ago I told my gay boss a story about my wedding. At the end he commented that he'd like to see the pictures.
It just occurred to me that perhaps for someone who can't legally get married, it might be bothersome to see these pictures?
2006-09-22 07:58:35 · 17 answers · asked by stimply 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, I wasn't talking about my boss specifically being bothered. More like a thought that popped into my head that maybe for some g/l it would bother them to see pics of a ceremony & celebration that they can't legally have in their own relationship.
2006-09-22 08:04:46 · update #1
I do get a little depressed going to them. Because it is something that's not available to me. And sometimes there's issues about whom people are allowed to bring as guests. We watched this whole documentary about lesbian bridesmaids: they're essentially pressured into taking part in this big "costume" (especially butch lesbians) thing, and they get paraded down the aisle matched with a man and it's all so very heterosexual. add to that that sometimes they're not allowed to bring their partners...that would suck.
2006-09-22 19:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is doubtful pictures would upset anyone over the marriage issue. As it happens, although not government sanctioned, there are holy unions taking place pretty much daily pretty much everywhere.
There are gays and lesbians who dedicate their lives to each other and take it every bit as seriously as a legal marriage. The rights we are fighting for is the legal sanction granted heteros.. that get them the discounts on insurance, the tax benefits, and other legal rights (like not letting the in-laws come take everything you own because it might have belonged to their little son/daughter)
When my lover of 10 years passed away, she only survived by a brother I had no way of knowing how to contact... Yet I had to go through so much bureaucratic nonsense over them releasing the body to me for burial because I was "not related" It did not matter that I had the cemetery plot paid for, and all things were in order... I should not in my time of grief had to deal with that kind of crap..
But all the hoopla of a wedding? All that can be done in any holy union.. so no, it is not bothersome to hear wedding stories or see the pictures.. since we can have the same celebrations, just not the same legal rights despite being tax paying law abiding citizens.
2006-09-22 08:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Silvatungfox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
History, gay man, been in a couple relationships. Currently looking at the initial steps of planning a commitment ceremony.
With that known I am not bothered by it. The main reason is that I can have the ceremony to pledge my love and loyalty to my partner. I love seeing wedding photos of family and friends to share thier moments with them.
I am sure there are some bitter people out there who don't like to share these happy moments with anyone. Thier loss.
I will say the only time I feel sorry for myself is when the facts that I can not have the equal rights is pushed into my face in a malicous manner. Not when sharing great memories.
2006-09-22 08:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with kopguy about the institution of marriage itself. However, regardless of whether or not we can be legally married, we can still carry out commitment ceremonies and have a wedding party and all that. I don't know of any gay person that resents satright people for marriage; I might know some bitter straight single people who do, though.
2006-09-22 11:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can get legally married, now, in Massachusetts - and I am. Before the Goodridge decision I would get mildly depressed internally knowing that I would never be able to get married myself. I was a brides-maid many times and I would stop myself from mentally designing my "perfect" wedding, knowing it would never come true. However, I would never share this with the bride, groom, or anyone else. I was happy for them, I just wished I could know that experience myself, but it didn't diminish my happiness for them. Oh well, I'm married now! :-)
2006-09-22 08:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by Alexis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really piss me off, and I am happy for them, but I have hopes that someday, in the near future, they will legalize gay marriage and I can finally get married! What makes me angry the most is when people are married 3, 4, even 5 times. They completely abuse the right and take it for granted.
2006-09-22 08:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Caribbean Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I love weddings! I love to see pictures and ooh, and ahh over it all. If I was straight, I still wouldn't be married, so it doesn't really make a difference. Why should I get mad at somebody else? It's not like they denied me any rights.
2006-09-22 10:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings?? Yuck.
I'll pass on the whole gay marriage thing. The str8's f*cked up that institution so they can it.
I do hope to have the same rights as married str8's do.
2006-09-22 08:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't bother me much, I just wish I had the same rights. What does bother me is if a straight friend gets an invitation for him and a guest and I get an invitation for just me. That's not right.
2006-09-22 08:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Mark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't bother me other than when someone rants on and on about their wedding/other-half and then proceeds to show no interest in mine.
2006-09-22 08:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋