My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for six months. We have lived together pretty much since the beginning of our relationship. We have a 4 year old daughter. Soon after the honeymoon I noticed she really started pulling away. Before the wedding we were fighting pretty much non-stop. I'm assuming it was the stress of everything going on with the wedding (fears, emotions, doubt etc). When we got back virtually everything stopped on her end. No more initiation of any affection (kissing, hugging, sex, saying i love you). During our many conversations about it, to sum it up she wasn't happy. She didn't want to go to counseling, she just wanted to be left alone. We hadn't had sex since the honeymoon and for the last month I tested things and stopped giving her affection just to see her reaction. She wasn't bothered by it. I finally asked her if she was done with us and her answer was yes. We had been here before, but I feel she really means it this time.
2006-09-22 07:55:39 · 15 answers · asked by imagineus2night 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Could it have been an affair? I find it hard to believe so shortly after being married. Or is she just clearly unhappy or possibly depressed?
2006-09-22 07:56:42 · update #1
Doesn't sound like an affair to me. Doesn't sound good if you were fighting before the wedding. Sounds like she didn't get heard. Are you trying to find out why she is pulling away from you? Talk to her.
2006-09-22 08:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch that really sucks bro...
Don't sweat the affair stuff. It will be a cancer that just eats at you as it grows until you will not be able to make a sound desicion.
It sounds to me like she is not and has not been in this marriage for some time.
It really is sad that you have a child and an unhappy marriage.
If she is not willing to go to counseling you have little choices left to you.
Ask her again but then make the hard decision.
You have my sympathy. I was there once before.
2006-09-22 15:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's depression - I've heard that it happens to a lot of women after marriage. The best thing would be to go for some marriage counseling, but more importantly both of you must look back at what it was that made you two fall in love with each other in the first place.
2006-09-22 15:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by methodz1218 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is depressed. Give her the benefit of the doubt. If you still love her, fight for her, and keep giving her affection. She may not realize that she is hurting you by pulling away. Try having her talk to a pastor or a good, wise friend if she won't go to counseling. For your sake and your child, try to work it out.
2006-09-22 15:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, it does sound like an affair. But before you accuse her of it, you should do your homework. Nothing worse than accusing someone of something they did not do. Sometimes the truth will hurt, but it will also help you lessen the stress you are placing on yourself.
Also if you were fighting so much before the wedding, why did you two go through with it???
2006-09-22 15:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by g m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this but it seems to me that getting married in the first place was a huge mistake.
It just doesn't seem that she loves you . She obviously doesn't want to work it out.
You can't force her to change her behavior .
The only thing thats left for you to do would be to get on with your life without her.
It doesn't mean that she had an affair. At this point I don't think it matters much.
2006-09-22 15:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by atomictulip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't focus too much on the affair scenario. I'd focus more on her unhappiness. From what you've indicated here, it sounds like it's over. I would try to figure out what could make her happy and see what you can do on your end, but be ready for the reality that it may be over. Sorry, happened to me too, after 8 years.
2006-09-22 15:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by babalu2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sad thing is, she was probably unhappy before the wedding and didn't make a serious but necessary decision not to go through with it. It doesn't sound good.
2006-09-22 14:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went throgh a similar period with my husband and there could be so many reasons as to why she is acting like that it is vertually imposible to know for sure what's the reason unless she is completely honest with you and tell you, everybody is going to give you a reason that might sound logic for you but the truth is only she knows for sure
2006-09-22 15:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably wasn't an affair, she is probably just sick of the fighting and everything. She could be depressed but you need to sit down and talk this out with her. only you and she can come up with solution. â¥
2006-09-22 15:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by ♥USMCwife♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋