Yep, been there, done that... over 35-40. If you really love someone, it doesn't matter. We've been happily married for 20 years.
2006-09-22 07:47:56
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answer #1
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answered by Lisa 1
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If my wife put on 35-40 pounds I would definitely still love her. But the issue is complex. If your partner is putting on that much extra weight you need to take some responsibility for it, and you need to take responsibility for being part of the solution. Aren't you there to help each other reach your full potential? If your partner is going downhill, where the heck are you? Why aren't you there for them?
If your partner is overweight and you are turned off by this, first ask whether you are part of the problem. Being unhappy is one of the leading causes of substantial weight gain. So are you making the person unhappy? If so, figure out what you're doing and stop it. If there are other issues, try to figure those out and help your partner with them. Then work together on improving your partner's health in a supportive (not insulting or punishing) way.
This does not imply that you should force your partner to change if they don't want to. It may be that the weight gain is really natural for them (maybe it was difficult for them to maintain their earlier lower weight), and they are fine with it. And of course weight gain is natural for most of us as we grow older. If this is the case, love them for who they are. Hopefully you and your relationship have matured sufficiently that this is not an issue, and your relationship endures on more substantial (and less superficial) stuff.
Just remember, they are called a "partner" because it is a partnership.
2006-09-22 08:07:45
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answer #2
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answered by epalmer613 2
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Yes... I am not in love with the person on the outside, yes there has to be physical attraction, but its not hard to lose that much weight!
I suggest getting a membership together to a gym... You can always say you want to feel better about yourself and would love for the time spent working out to be with them as well! Its one option.
But, true love is true love. No matter if they gain, lose, or turn purple or green I would still love the person I am with!
2006-09-22 07:50:15
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answer #3
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answered by MsLysa 3
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Of course I would still love the person....I may not be overjoyed about that weight gain but I would never talk to my partner about his or her weight gain...for fear of hurting that person...We all have things in our lives that can affect us...and in turn gain or lose weight or even something else that pops up....what I would do is encourage my partner like for instance....comon lets go for a long walk....lets get more active because I think it is healthier for us...Tell him or her that you noticed that when you are more active ....you really do feel better .....that approach is a more delicate way of hinting about the weight gain.....believe me...when a person has put on that kind of weight.........they are acutely aware of it...I think.....and it isnt easy to lose..... I am somewhat overweight and I know that my husband still loves me.....I am so sure of that fact....and that is very comforting to me...that he accepts me ...or how I look or dont look. He is turn is in perfect dondition....works out all the time...and hasnt an ounce of fat on him.... and Yes I work out at least 5 hours a week...still havent lost weight........ I wonder if this is extremely important to you about how she looks....either to you or other people. I am surprised that you would even ask this question.....makes me wonder how YOU feel about that weight gain.....and maybe should question yourself about for instance...can you still love her with this weight gain or is it changing your opinion of her....If you would stop loving her just because of the way she looks....maybe She should get another husband ...I am not trying to be mean.......just thinking outload...
2006-09-22 08:06:20
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answer #4
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answered by missmoseyposey 1
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every1 has their opinion on what classifies love. attraction is often mistaken for love. for instance... the love of our mom or dad. if they gained weight would we love them less. what about our kids, or best friends, etc.... truth is when you are in a relationship you want to always look your best, but once you get into life routines it's hard to find the attraction, weight or not. you should still love the person you are with or you should get your shallow behind out of the relationship, because being overweight is not a choice..there are triggers health, depression..etc. when you love someone it's about always putting them before you and vise versa.. the constant exchange of giving helps the other person grow. i think you need to ask yourself why they are gaining...you might be surprised to find out it's happy fat. a condition that happens when ppl get very comfy w- their partner and start concentrating on other things besides vanity. you may not like the weight but you should love them, and help them to be healthy...you'd want the same consideration, right?
2006-09-22 08:00:32
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answer #5
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answered by native girl 2
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I personally don't have a problem with weight, so it wouldn't bother me. My other half is actively gaining at the moment, and I still love him. Weight isn't something that affects my desire for someone unless it is very extreme on either end, I could easily still love my husband if he gain 100lbs. If he was to shave his beard off tho, that would be a different matter!
2006-09-22 07:49:23
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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My girlfriend still loves me after i put on about 40 pounds over the past 3 years. I'm lucky to have her.
If that's want a person weighs that's what a person weighs. true love doesn't care about the packaging, it's what's inside that counts.
2006-09-22 07:49:01
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answer #7
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answered by CR 4
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Its how you feel about the person that counts, if you make them happy and they make you happy then thats all that counts. The only reason that obesity would be such a big issue is that the human race are always competing against each other and they laugh when they see your large partner when they've got a shakira lookalike. If ya love em thats all that matters
2006-09-22 07:49:23
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answer #8
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answered by hellraiza15 3
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Yes I would. Out of interest I've lost about 40lbs in the last year, mainly through stress, worry and lack of money before anyone asks for diet tips, but I bet no-one would think to ask the question that way round.
2006-09-22 08:00:53
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answer #9
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answered by des10euk 2
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u don't love ur partner!!!
ur hesitation indicates that. u may like him\her so dearly , but not in love with him\her.
his\her mind & personality r the same within his\her body . fat or thin , that won't change anyone, but a little change in ur partner drives u to think wether u should leave him\her!!!
so, if u do love ur partner, u should replace ur question with: how to help my partner without hurting him\her? and u must not underestimate ur partner like this.
sit & think: do u really love this person?
2006-09-22 08:06:37
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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