My husband was caught cheating, but says he wants to work it out with me.?

Question

He says the sex only happened a few times, about 6 months ago when he was really depressed, but they continue to call and text eachother. Now, he says he totally wants to work it out with me and will call her and end it. I was planning on being there when he told her, but Dr. Joy Brown (radio psychologist) said that would be acting like his mom. I need to trust him and continue therapy with my husband (we've been going a few months) and then next year evaluate my marriage. She said, don't check his cell phone or check up on him. Is this crazy advice?

Answer 1

Stay or go that is the question. Most people would say run and he will always cheat.But the people that are saying this does not know you.I had this problem with my husband to and my love for him was stronger than running to a divorce lawyer.I think you and him should both go to counseling and see if there is a way to resolve your problems.It is so easy to get a divorce but very hard to keep your marriage. If you love him and you believe he is worth giving a second chance, Then go for it. But no one should tell you to leave him that is your choice and your marriage.But i would make him delete her # and put her on block and if you find it on there again then he is still up to no good. Good luck honey God bless

Answer 2

Although I wouldn't call it "crazy," if I were the therapist and had you both in counseling together, I would tell the guy that he has betrayed your trust and that he should fully expect you to check up on him frequently. He committed the betrayal and if he wants to regain your trust, he should live his life like an open book until you feel satisfied about his commitment. However, your therapist surely has a well-reasoned theory for her own recommendation, so you should ask her what it is. If you are not satisfied by her answer, it is possible that you simply do not click with this therapist. This does not mean therapy cannot be helpful (it can!) just that you need to shop around a bit more.

Answer 3

First of all, Dr. Joyce Brown is a quack. You know in your heart that he is not going to stop cheating on you. People cheat because they get attention elsewhere and they enjoy that attention enough to act on it. Your husband is telling you he wants to work it out? Why does he get the choice? He cheated a few times, and that is unacceptable. I'm just trying to save you time and pain with this man. He will cheat again, whether you catch him or not, he is going to continue to do this. He already broke your vows and it's pointless to think he values them now. My advice to you is to find out who you are and if you deserve this. When you get no for an answer, kiss him goodbye and move on. There is a man out there who will value you and appreciate you for who you are.

Answer 4

Hell no that is not crazy. He is your husband, if you want to check his phone then you have every right to. If he is serious about working things out then yes you should be there when he breaks it off with her. You are his wife. That is your right since he cheated. Do exactly what you feel you need to do. Just think if it were reversed. He would do the same thing.

Answer 5

nope , dont check on him . She is so right to say that you would be acting like his mother. He told youi he cheated because he was depressed ? Continue therapy and see how it works for you . Itrs totally unfair that you would be draged into his problems , because he is unhappy , you have to deal with being cheated on. He has no honor and he has to do right by you now. Dont force him to do anything. If he really wanted to be with you , he would make the effort. If he doesnt , you know what to do .

I dont believe in fighting over men , because they have the last word just as you have . You make your choice

Answer 6

I think that trust has to be earned back. However, you should check for your own piece of mind. I would say there are two people in the relationship. You don't want him feeling like you dont trust him but you dont want to feel like the idiot that is being lied to and cheated on. Find a happy medium and talk to him about it. Maybe he would mind you checking his phone.

Answer 7

Doesn't make much sense to me but it is also true that the cheating is a symptom not the problem. On the other hand, if the cheating is due to some deep seated need to have new sexual encounters, it would be nice for you to be aware of that if for no other reason than you need to protect yourself from STDs.

Answer 8

not inspite of the data you will bypass away him, you purely prefer the confession (ineffective). in case you so no like your subject, get a spine and bypass away. provide up enjoying the game (you too) of attempting to catchim, your dependancy for any such circunstance and intrigue is what's protecting you interior the relationship. you besides would do not incredibly prefer to capture him, via fact by potential of then for the main area it will be over, and what you already understand would be got here across, after which you will would desire to stand what you're warding off. purely you could help youself, that is pointless for others to tell you something, not besides the fact that if the guy with who your husband is dishonest with is composed of you, it won't make any distinction... you (in case you prefer) could make the variation, time to think of.

Answer 9

Ask yourself do I still want to be with him?
I can tell you once a cheater is always a cheater, because I have been there and done it.

Was it right??? NO IT WAS NOT, But 85% will do it again.

I wish both of you the best, regardless of what choice you make.

Answer 10

first of all, i say **** counseling and dump him. i left my husband when i caught him cheating. i dont tolerate that nonsense in a marriage. it's suppose to be sacred. that is a BIG VIOLATION! yes check his cell phone etc. is she crazy. how in the hell are you suppose to know what the **** he is doing? she is an azzwipe if i havent seen one. she will keep women STUPID. YOU CUT HIS AZZ OFF but check and see what is yours. you will never trust him again and face reality he proved himself to be weak. LOVE YOURSELF FOR GODS SAKE AND kick him to the curb and someone who will respect you will come your way.