How do you know its right to divorce.?

Question

Wife and i have been married almost 7 yrs been separated for about 7 months now back and forth living apart. we have no kids together she is older im 10 yrs younger she wanted to adopt but we never did we are finacially straqpped to a mortgage and she has kids from a previous mariage seems we could never catch up keep falling behind.I love her she loves me but we dont know how to make this marriage work.She is now in this total depression because we have nothing together nothing to keep us together called our own.We both work but its a struggle we live in a very expensive place to live. We are at a point of what to do should we go our own ways seems either way if we divorce for her or stay together she thinks everything will be the same.I love her but she is so depressed i cant live like this is it time for us to split sell the house and go our own ways ? can someone help me? Thank You

Answer 1

check with a lawyer or counselling, depending on where you are at. transition will be hard, but you are striving for happiness. you can always sell a house and split the difference. life is too short to be miserable. good luck

Answer 2

You need to know that the problem you and your wife are having have nothing to do with your not sharing anything. If you adopted children now, you would royally screw them up. Obviously, the two of you can not get along. You need to really think about if she is the right person for you. Her being depressed because she doesn't have kids to hold you both together is just crazy. You said she had children from a previous marriage, that didn't keep that man there. Your wife has problems she needs to get help with and you can not help her. I strongly suggest that you re-evauate your situation and decide if this headache is worth having. You have been married 7 years and you know it's time to leave. You just have to be brave enough to say goodbye.

Answer 3

Maybe you and her need to sit down together and figure out what would make both of you a happy. Is selling the house and finder cheaper housing maybe an option? I know financial situations can be draining and can make anyone depressed, but I don't think you're ready for a divorce until you've both exhausted every effort to make the marriage work. Since you said you both love each other, then there should be other alternatives than splitting.

Answer 4

Awww goodness hon. Counseling should be the first thing that y'all should consider. In my opinion divorce is NEVER an option. I always feel that there are ways to work through it. Both people just have to try. Marriage is hard work.

If you still love her then you shouldn't even be thinking about counseling. If she is depressed help her through this time. Counseling really is a great thing and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I've seen it make people fall in love all over again.

Money issues are difficult and one of the top reasons for divorce. Regarding the money issues you should listen to Dave Ramsey. He's an amazing financial consultant with some really good ideas. Good Luck with everything hon!

Answer 5

Marriage is never easy. Depression with help can be fixed. If you really love her then don't give up. Your vows for both said, good or bad right? No one promised more good than bad or visa versa. There has been days that I thought leaving and going our own way would be best. It would only be easier. Easier that I could back out on a person who loves me and much as I love him. I have a daughter, not with my husband. He wanted one and it hasn't happened. It may never. You both have to decide what you really want and what you can do without. Then you can decide where to go from that point. But be realistic. Don't work off hopeful promises or what you think the other one wants. And seek help from a third party if possible. Good luck

Answer 6

I think you should both go to separate counseling before trying marriage counseling. This makes you both responsible for your own health and behavior. After a few times with a counselor I think you and she will both see things more clearly. See how you feel after that, then you can make a choice of what you would like to do. She can do the same and if you both choose to stay together then you can go see a counselor together. I think that if you both seek counseling separately and still choose to be together you will find there is no need for the couples counseling.

Answer 7

You have nothing together? How about your lives? Each other? It seems that you both are trying to make up for being childless by living extravagantly. Move down a notch where it may be a little more comfortable. If you get divorced you each only have 1/2 of your income. That's because you then keep yours and she keeps hers.

See if she will get some professional help. It may be something deeper that is bothering her.

Answer 8

I think yall nxt step should be counselling..... and along with that i think both of u should consider committing ur lives to GOD.

With God evrything is possible. He will make a way for u both. Trust in him and HE shall direct ur paths!!

Goodluck n godbless!

Answer 9

When there is love, there is no barriers for communication. In your case I don't think there is love. Because you mentioned the age difference, I think that is your personal issue. And you don't want to work to get things fixed.

Answer 10

yeah sell and split and go separate ways. you two are using the words we love each other a poor excuse to hang on to a ****** up relationship. let go of the fronting word love and move on to happiness REALLY!