My husband of 13 years has announced that he wants a divorce as "he doesnt love me anymore" This was a total shock as we had just returned from a fab holiday, spent £5,000 on the garden, bought a new car for me and a motorbike for him. Since he announced this he has been absolutely vile! Last Monday he attacked me and was arrested for ABH then let off with a caution. The house I bought in 1988, 5 years before he married me, is now up for sale and it is breaking my heart. he wants 40% of the equity and to be honest I dont want him to have it! I saw a solicitor last week who was so decepit I am sure he represented Tutankhamun! We are living under the same roof but in different areas, he cut the phone off, cxl all d/debits at the bank and went to France for a week on a pre-arranged fishing holiday after telling me I was not now welcome. I spent the week opening a bank account and transferring all the bills to me. I love him but hate him too. Any ideas to get through this?
2006-09-22 07:26:32 · 33 answers · asked by puffy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trash his poxy bike..hide away the car and smother him...... good luck!! xx
2006-09-22 12:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need support from friends and family. it's bad enough to hear that someone doesn't love you anymore and that can't be helped but you should try to get him out of the house after that attack. change your solicitor if you're not happy. try to spend sometime with friends to get away. see people you've not seen for years do things you couldn't do or put off doing because you were with him. you will find yourself and re-create the you that existed before the marriage only better and wiser. if it gets really bad give samaritans a ring. they are so supportive and you don't have to be suicidal but it's always 2 am when it feels the worst so ring 08457 90 90 90 go and see your gp too and tell him/her what's going on. the more people looking out for you the better. big hug from me keep strong sister. you are better than 10 of this guy.
2006-09-22 08:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need some proper advice or he'll walk all over you. Don't bother trying to understand why all the money was spent on things before the holiday etc, because he was merely bidding his time until he got to the point of telling you how it really is. It's common enough behaviour from both sexes.
You definitely need to get your corner covered as you'll have enough just getting to grips with the emotional aspects of it all. Sort out some proper legal help and your personal support networks because you'll need them.
2006-09-22 07:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear what you are going through.Guess he is approaching middle age?.Next door neighbour went through a similar thing last year,they got back off holiday he took out a loan to buy a Subaru then announced He didn't love her anymore and wanted a divorce.
4 weeks later he came back with his tail between his legs.
Best thing you can do is try and talk to him,or if he wont talk to you try getting a friend of his to sit him down and try and find whats going on in his head.
hope it all works out for the best, take care
2006-09-22 07:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by Monkeyy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not saying if you have any children he cant say what he wants and dont give it to him let the courts sort it out im sorry to say but it sounds to me that he has somebody else that is what it sounds like to me why have you taking over all his bills he sounds a rite git why should you lighten the load for him you have done no wrong dont be soft with him you will regret it in the end you have to be strong dont let him tell you what he wants and if he won ts a divorce let him do it he will have to pay then not you you don't need a git like that take care and good luck
2006-09-22 10:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you transfer all the bills to yourself, Get a attorney file for a divorce on mental cruelty I don't know about England but anything you owned in America before you married he can't get but I would make him at least pay half the bills just get a good Atty. he'll take care of you and show you all your legal options.
2006-09-22 07:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wont speak to you or you cant speak to each other for any reason then ask someone to mediate between you both. maybe a close friend you both respect or another family member.
This way you might be able to find out whats goung on in a reasonable manner.
You might make progress and start talking through things again.
Hope this works as its tried and tested. Give it a go.
Good luck
2006-09-22 07:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by spidermike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun what I do when I am in a rut is pray because that is the only thing that gets me through lean on Jesus. Also do you have a lawyer if he committed adultery there is a way he can't get anything check it out you can call a lawyer for a free consultation.
2006-09-22 07:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful about doing anything rash. You're probably very angry and hurt at the moment but you have to calm down and work out exactly what it is that you want and then make a plan to get it.
You wont be able to do this when you're angry and you might well end up losing your dignity
2006-09-22 07:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by bulliont 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-09-22 07:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm realy sorry to hear about your problem. I'm going though the same with my wife. I realy feel for you. I think you should find a more understanding solitor. And dont let him get away with it. My advice to you is get all the legal advise you can. And try not to worry about what he is try to get from you. And try to consentrate on what you cando for your-self. my heart goe's out to you. And the very best of luck to you. If you need some1 to talk to. I'm hear.
2006-09-23 10:02:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋