Ok say that you are married and have a child but you husband/wife says that you dont appreciate what they give/do for you but you do. Also are act like having sex is a chore...But you started talking to someone you dated in high school because a person in their family was in the hospital and you seen them there, but you started thinking why did the two of you even broke up in the first place...Who you stay with your spouse or would you file for divorce and start dating the other person?
2006-09-22 07:26:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The grass isn't always greener, particularly when you are looking at it throught "stressed" eyes...I recommend you (hypothetically) and the other person get some counseling...you fell in love with this person for some reason and had a child together, so I assume you liked each other at some point...besides you owe it to the child...but keep in mind, the counseling thing isn't easy...you will hear alot of stuff you won't like...but is important to keep an open mind while you are in there and try your best not to get defensive...the other person is trying to tell you what about you they don't like...if you care about them and want to improve the relationship you will listen...and when it is your turn to "vent", be HONEST...if you don't like the way this person (hypothetically) kisses, doesn't do x or y whild in bed, doesn't put their dirty dishes in the sink...whatever, say it...counseling isn't a time to "spare the other person's feelings"...and don't expect for it to all be worked out in 1 session...it may take time, but stick to it, for the sake of your child...at the end, hopefully, it will be a cathartic experience and you (hypothetically) and this other person will be closer than before...good luck
2006-09-22 07:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by The Kid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stay married, although ur spouse is being difficult they arent "breaching" the marriage vows.. at this point the one that is "seeing" the old flame is!!!!!!!!.. FORSAKE ALL OTHERS.. is what u vowed the day u took ur marriage vows.. so although the spouse is making life difficult they arent committing infidelity, and those other problems are very much fixable.. infidelity isnt.. so id say in this "hypothetical " lol question.. of so many specifics lol..
That the one that is in lust again with the old flame is the one doing wrong not the spouse ..and although i dont doubt that the spouse is being difficult i think because of the peak in interest of the new flame.. the "cheating" spouse is making a mountain out of a mole hill.. to exuse their wanting to be with someone else.. they want to run when theirs a problem instead of fixing the problems.. they want what "SEEMS" greener on the other side.. but guess what.. its not always greener on the other side .. all relationships start out great, and passionate.. and wonderful.. thats why ur in them to begin with.. but after time.. something always happens, comfortable sets in..and ruine sets in, and little irritations about each other happen, then what? gonna ditch that spouse or gf.. for the next thing.. The cheating spouse is all about what "FEELS" good at the moment.. and thats an immature way to look at marriage, as marriage isnt easy it takes work, every day to keep it going from both partners.. and maybe the "cheating" spouse needs to stop and think, if their spouse acts like sex is a chore maybe its because they know u better then they think, and why should they want to have sex with someone that has qualities of a "CHEATER".. its called self protection.......
2006-09-22 07:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say, this hardly sounds hypothetical. And you are a complete IDIOT to leave your wife and child for 'pie in the sky by and by'. When will you people understand that marriage is a commitment! Thru thick and thin, remember your 'VOWS'??? I guess you lied that day. Marriage takes WORK like everything else worth living for. You don't just lay down on the couch after the honeymoon and think everything is just great as long as you get sex whenever you want it. HELP your wife with the kids and the house, and she will have more energy to be with you. Maybe she doesn't think you are worth it.
2006-09-22 07:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say stay with your spouse and try to work things out first. You always have a lot more invested in that relationship and a child to consider.
2006-09-22 07:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you also aren't getting what you need or you wouldn't be thinking that way. I don't think divorce is the answer, either do you or you wouldn't take the time to ask this question. I'm sure its tempting to rekindle old flames and I'm sure it makes you feel like someone actually cares. you need to talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and that things have to change and that you also need more out of this relationship
2006-09-22 07:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by beener 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is not about you anymore, is about the child/children. Children from broken homes usually grow up very insecure and in most cases they turn out to get in trouble at a young age. Is better to open up a good communication with your partner and with the communication comes the understanding.
2006-09-22 07:29:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Could be it's taken better care of. Try taking care of yours. Any good marriage requires work everyday.
2006-09-22 07:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by Michael S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would be hard not to want to try it out with the new person,, but it's easier on everyone if you divorce first. Make sure you are divorcing for yourself , becuase your not happy, not just cuz you want the new person.
2006-09-22 07:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by B V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with my spouse.
Try to find out what he wants/needs in the way of showing appreciation.
Get some help-couples counselling.
2006-09-22 07:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tavita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should try to make the marriage work. just because it is hard doesnt mean you should give up. good things take a little effort!
2006-09-22 07:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by mml619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋