what is the best way to deal with losing your child to miss carriage?

Question

i was sent to the hospital because i was bleeding. i got to the hospital and they ran a bunch of tests. they did an ultra sound and right then and there i knew my baby was dead. there was no kind of heart beat at all. nothing. i thought i was 3 months but come to find out i was only 2 1/2 months. im really feeling depressed and i dont even know what its going to be like when i lose this kid. i am living with my boyfriend and some other guy that is my boyfriends friend and thats not helpful because not all guys know how to deal with a miss carriage. i dont know what to do. im very depressed and i cry all the time. please help me if you know anything. thank you very much.

Answer 1

I lost a baby at almost 4 months & couldn't complete the miscarriage so they had to do a surgical procedure. It was the same way - I went for a checkup & they couldn't find a heartbeat; it had stopped & the baby was just gone. It's very natural to feel depressed - you need to see your ob/gyn to make sure you've already passed the embryo or not - otherwise there could be complications or even infection if it was an incomplete abortion.
Cry it out - & then begin to live for each day again. It's all you can do. You'll never forget that little baby, but in time the memory won't be so painful for you. I have a necklace that has "birthstone brats" on it - one each for the children I have & an angel one for the one I lost. She would have been born in February of 97, so she would be almost 10 now. Do something to celebrate the little life that would have been - don't spend all of your time in tears & regret. You need to explain to your boyfriend that you need support & understanding at this time - he has to feel something too, if this was his baby? The only thing that helps is time - & you will eventually be better. I promise. Good luck dear - take care of yourself.

Answer 2

Let me first say that it will be okay. I have never had a miscarriage so I can't say that I know how you feel. My sister had a miscarriage back in April and she took it pretty hard. She went to the hospital and they ran tests, did an ultrasound and told her to come back in a few days and they ran more tests. She finally went to a different hospital which told her that she had fully miscarried the baby. When the doctor finally told her she cried, even though she already knew. Basically she cried alot and kept to herself. She did have the support of my and my mom. All you need is your family in a time like this. It will be hard and you will probably have a hard time when you see children, but all in all you will come around. My sister now thinks that it was probably for the best because her baby was probably sick and that is why she had a miscarriage. Think positive and be around your family.

Answer 3

Well sweetie, I also lost a pregnancy at 13 weeks. That was about 8 weeks ago. I was really sad but I know God has a plan and He's working it out in my life. I don't want to be out of his plan and so this is part of the journey. It will make us stronger, better able to help others and will give us perspective on how precious these little gifts are. I will pray for you that your heart will heal and that the Lord will comfort you and fill you once again with hope!!! Hang in there, it does get easier!

Answer 4

Losing a baby is a tough thing to do. I don't think that there is any best way to deal with it. Just take it one day at a time and maybe try talking to a church or even just a friend. Don't hold it in that can do more damage than good. It's always good to be open no matter how hard it is to talk about it.

Answer 5

The best thing I can suggest is to just put yourself in a room and cry it out. Just let it all out. If you do not start to feel like you are feeling emotional better within to weeks go back to a doctor and see what they suggest for working out your loss.

I know it is hard and it seems that everything is ending, but it does get better, you can move past it, and remember you always have that little one watching you from heaven.

I every once in a while still think about my loss and what could have been, but then I remember that the baby is in a better place and watching me. I like to believe that little one is watching over my new little ones.

Answer 6

i understand how ur feeling i was 5 1/2 mnths preg when i miscarried. its not easy to get thru it its been 2 years and i still think about it everyday. I never talked about it which made the situation worse for me. I think u need to confide in someone and talk about it. it will make u feel better. I am now starting to deal with my lost of my baby. and its not easy. Don't blame urself for it, it will only make u feel worse. I know the dnc u prob had to do wasn;t easy either. but i have been there in ur situation. I cry myself to sleepsometimes. i am afraid if i get preg again. Afraid i will lose that baby too! You need to keep ur head up. everything happens for a reason is my thery. Don't keep this to ur self u will have another baby and everything wil be ok thousands of women go thru this we are not the only 1's thats been thru it. us women are strong and we can get thru this rough time. Please don't give up, everything will be ok I promise

Answer 7

this is one of natures way of not bringing perfect babies into our inperfect world. trust me i speak from personal experience. i myself have had 4 miscarrages. one in my 6th month my only male child. i now am proud to say i have 3 perfect daughters. you will cry this is natural since you are disappointed and feel the loss. and men can never understand because they do not carry a baby inside their bodys. i know time heals you but right now i know this is no help. put 1 day after another ( get through today) and the time will pass. if you need a friend feel free to let ppl help you. alot of us have been there and we do understand.

Answer 8

I lost my daughter to SIDS when she was 4 months old. I know your situation is a little different but the loss of a child no matter what age they are is very painful. go to the website I've listed and they have a lot of information on miscarriage and infant death. they can also give you a list of support groups in your area. also, i read "empty cradle, broken heart"

Answer 9

aww very sorry to hear...i know wot its like i had 3 miscarriages...3rd when 5 mnths pregnant....though now have 4 healthy children.....sometimes its natures way of letting go somthing thats not right...in time u will get over it and maybe fall pregnant again and have a healthy baby...its not easy for a woman ,but for a man its different cuz they don,t experience the changes of the body.just ask ur man to be there for a hug when u need it...

Answer 10

You know, some people are their own worst enemy. You are so negative. Your attitude is all wrong. I'm sorry for your loss but you'd better wake up from this nightmare or it will destroy your peace of mind. And piece of mind is what you need. Dont wallow in your sorrow. Dont carry this burden constantly or you will be constantly burdened. FORGET ABOUT IT!
Think, as the bible says, on the things that you should be gratetful for. Shall I list them?
1. You have a home and are not homeless 2. You have money for a computer. You have your eyes and your hands. You have your mental health to write this need for help. What if you were blind, deaf, dumb. handicapped, homeless with heart disease, diabetes and AIDS along with a terminal brain tumor--and you are 97 years old now? How would you feel then?
Dont be stupid. Move on with your life! And count your blessings!
good luck