Abuse or not?

Question

My boyfriend and I got into an argument. (I will keep the subject of the argument confidential).I questioned something he had said and he thought I was insenuating something that I was not. (Although what he thought I was insenuating was very harsh). This made him so mad.( I could see where it would've if that had been the case). He told me to shut up and get out of his room. So, I decided I would just leave. I was picking up my clothes I had left in the floor so I could get dressed and leave. He asked what I was doing and I ignored him. I was just going to get my stuff and go. He continued to ask what I was doing. I continued to ignore him. He told me to shut-up and get out of his room right? Yes, so that was what I was doing. He grabbed and and threw me out of his room. I don't know if I should be worried about this or not. I know what he thought I was insenuating about him was awful. But I feel like he should have asked if that's what I was saying before he grabbed me. Abuse or not?

He has never been physically abusive before.

Answer 1

The fact that you're asking says it all. No matter what answers we tell you here your mind is already made up so lets answer a question by asking a few questions:

Do you want someone speaking to you this way? Do you think it's right for him, or anyone to put there hands on you in a hurtful or harmful way? Do you want to spend any more time with someone that doesn't even feel you have the right to question him or accuse you of meaning something else?

Seems like whatever the argument was over and the questions you were asking hit a nerve.....

Since he forcefully put you out, stay out and away from him. It may not really seem like abuse to you now, but if you allow him to get away with this it will only get worse at time goes on.

Answer 2

Most abusive boyfriends start being abusive after being in a relationship only for a few months. I say once a guy puts his hands on you, it can very well continue because you let it happen the first time. It doesn't matter how upset you may get a person, they NEVER have the right to touch you in an aggressive way. If any red flags arise in the near future with your boyfriend, you need to get out of the relationship. It's just not worth going through that.

Answer 3

Just because he has never been abusive before doesn't mean anything, sometimes the abuse starts all of a sudden. It doesn't matter what you said or ensinuated he should have never touched you. If he got so made he could throw you out of the room for picking up your clothes then how far will it go the next time he gets really angry. A little slap (but I ensinuated something), a black eye (but he was really mad). How far is to far?

Answer 4

You absolutely need to be very worried about this physical outburst from him. I don't care what he thought you said he had no right to put his hands on you. YES you were abused!! He will do it again if you stay with him. By staying with him you are tactically giving him your permission to abuse you again. He may exibit extreame remorse, but my dear that is normal behavior of a guy who is out of control and realizes how wrong what he did was. However it is not a reason to think it won't happen again, regardless of how much he promises it never will. If you stay with him I garentee you it will happen again, and again, and again, and again, each time getting worse and worse. Are you aware of how many women are killed by husbands and boyfriends? Well, look it up for yourself, goggle it, take proactive action to protect yourself and any children you will have. GET OUT NOW, while the getting is good. I pray you listen or you are in for a world of hurt.

Answer 5

take it from someone who knows, that is how it always start, if he done it once, he will do it again because you allowed him to get away with it only next time it could be worse and they always worm it around where it was your fault. Mine never showed any abuse signs either until after we were married. I stayed in it for 5 years and finally had the courage to leave after I had a baby so she wouldn't see the beatings. That was 38 years ago and he is dead now but I still have flashbacks and it did effect my relationships with other men. RUN

Answer 6

Are you talking about pyhsical abuse or emotiional. It wouldnt be physical unless he made contact that intended to harm you. This on the other hand could be emotional abuse. By putting you out the room and not asking what you said, seeing your side, that would be a form of rejection, which is a result of emotional abuse

Answer 7

Yes this is a type of domestic violence. Just because you are not married it is considered domestic, because you are in a relationship.

Anytime you feel threatend and dominated over it is a form of abuse. Just by answering the question alone you know you are in an abusive relationship.

I have been in a relationship for seven years married for four out of the seven. My husbands abuse started with name calling and making feel like I was too blame for all the fights. Hus name calling included swearing and calling me real nasty vulgar things. This increased over time, meaning he grabbed me or broke things around me and yelled in my face.

None of the things I mentioned are illegal, but very immotionally damaging and confusing. The hard part was that we would fight and then everything would be okay. He would seem so in love for the longest time. Then he would get edgy and moody over what he said was stress..

He started blaming for everything and isolating me from my family and friends. I didnt realize this because he would just say he didnt like them and give reasons why they didnt care about me. Trying to make them appear bad.

The next stage of fighting was him getting even more out of control during fights. Mostly because I was trying to justify myself. This is what I am believing you are talking about. If he is an abuser. It will not matter what you do or say. You will not make him change his thoughts.

When I am quiet and not arguing back this infuriates my husband. This is what lead to further physical violence.

You are seeing signs. I have been there thinking he isnt really abusive. Maybe I just upset him. He only grabbed me. But the truth is it will get worse. I use to think people were over reacting when they said that to me. I am saying you are concerned for a reason.

Educate yourself on domestic violence. Read the characteristic of an abuser. Your boyfriend sounds like he fits the part.

The main thing to know is dont make excuses that he acted that way because of anything you dod . He is in charge of his actions. You didnt make him grab you and yell at you. He did that wanting to control the situation.

I am sure you love him or have feelings for him, but my advice is to get out of this relationship.

God Bless You.

Answer 8

I have to admit that this was very wrong of his part to do this to you. Not that I want to Justify him but I know from personal experience that when you get very upset you might do things with out thinking, thing that you will later regret. Give him a second chance if you want. talk to him tell him that what he was thinking is not what meant that he misinterpreted you and that you will not accept another action like that from him. Don't let him make a habit out of losing his temper. However try to talk to him nicely about it if you yell at him or criticize him he will just get angrier. Try to see things from his point of view and maybe you can figure out the way to help him.

Answer 9

my husband and I have gotten in some fights before. When i make him very angry he will say something very rude back or completely ignore me to make me angry. He has never been physical with me ever. He has never laid a finger on me in a combatical way.Someone that will not control themselves and push, hit, ect. anything physical , has that mental disability to control themselves. I would be careful.. my ex boyfriend became very abusive when we would fight towards the end of our relationship. before that i thought he wouldnt hurt a bug.
if your boyfriend is ok with pushing you, he will maybe do more some day. just be careful.. with my past experiences now, I would leave him in a heart beat. if he pushed me. It's just not right. every one is different though. good luck

Answer 10

It sounds like he was just angry, but if he does it again then you should worry. I don't beleive its right for a man to put his hands on a woman. Just give it some time a talk to him and tell how that made you feel. Come to an agreement and tell him to work things out before anything like that ever happens again.