Why do so many people divorce? I don't think that should ever be an option!!! That's what counseling is for, marriage is a sacred union and I can't believe so many people break it!
2006-09-22 06:36:05 · 34 answers · asked by Julie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And yes I have been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship so I didn't marry the guy!
2006-09-22 06:45:02 · update #1
I agree to an extent.. there are reasons for divorce but they should be extreme reasons.. infidelity.. and abuse to either u or your children.. But at that point ur spouse has already breached ur marriage vows.. so they've already left u .. so divorce is only a formality at that point..
I dont agree with people divorcing just because life through them an obsticle, and instead of working through that obsticle they choose to run instead of facing the problem..
Years ago divorce was frowned upon, it was a disgrace to be divorced.. Society has made it to easy to divorce for any reason.. ur spouse sneezes wrongly to u .. boom get a divorce..
People today tend to not view their vows as a promise they made to live by every day for the rest of their life, to them its just something they said one day in a ceremony.. and not something they really need to uphold to..
People are to wrapped up in "what feels good" at the moment..
Its pretty sad when u can look at someone in their early 30's and they've been married 3 or more times already.. and the saddest part are the kids that get intangled in these relationships and end up being shattered emotionally from it.. and all the parents think of is themselves and what "FEELS GOOD FOR THEM" and not what is best for their children, heck half of the time, the other parent leaves and pretends that their marriage, and their kids didnt happen, they just want to start a new and forget the responsibilities they "CHOSE" to have..
To many people rush into marriage, and arent picky in who they are going to choose as a spouse.. they are all about the what feels good now, and not if the person actually has the qualities they want in a husband or wife, and they are so stuck in living for today that when tomorrow comes and their husband and wife start losing all the exterior reasons that they fell in love with them they forgot to fall in love with the interior ...the interior reason is what gets u through the next 30 to 50 years.. not the exterior and any mature person realizes that..
2006-09-22 06:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a divorcee, I partially agree with you. I think that Divorce happens way too much. There are a lot of times when people get divorced for real stupid reasons. I consider, not being in love anymore a stupid reason. The three A's- Abuse, Adultery and Addictions- are definetly reasons to divorce (I consider Pornography Adultery and Addiction).
I think that saying that Divorce should never be allowed really enables bad behavior. Then there are no consequences for people's bad choices, and that is never a good thing. If someone knows that if they have an affair, that they will not divorce, it may make it easier for them to do that. Though some things are never right, having a consequence sure helps you stay away from that temptation. Also in my situation, I was married to a Drunk, he claims that he has stopped drinking now and maybe he has. But as long as I stayed married to him, I was allowing that behavior to continue, I was saying I don't like it, but I am too weak to do anything about it so continue. The only reason he stopped his destructive behavior is because he had to suffer dire consequences. Oh we went to counseling, but he was not commited to changing his behavior, I was just supposed to accept it. You also need to know that I knew nothing of this behavior before we married. He claimed that he did not drink at all, and I don't drink at all and I know lots of people who don't. Also after someone has intentionally broken your trust enough- you can no longer live with them.
Counseling has it place and has helped countles numbers of couples, but in many situations it is as useless as telling a terrorist to be nice and to stop killing and torturing people. If someone does not wnat to change, no matter what you do, they won't.
Sometimes divorce is nessacary, but only after it has been given serious thought and consideration and it should be viewed as a last option. If there are kids involved, then the couple should take it much more seriously and think about what it will do to the kids if they stay together and what will it do to the kids if they split up. In the case of Abuse- divorce is THE ONLY OPTION. If not, someone could end up dead and the kids will repeat the behavior they see in the home,
By the way- for the non believers- I am a Christian woman. A very faithful Christian. I belong to a religion that holds marriagae as a VERY SACRED union. It is a very serious thing. I also understand as does the leadership in my church that sometimes, there is no other option.
2006-09-22 07:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously never really seen a marriage go horribly wrong. There are some marriages out there that just can't be fixed. Also, if you try to force a relationship like that, it just prolongs the suffering and can lead to some nasty problems. (Domestic violence is the worst.) If you have children that are bought up in that type of atmosphere, look at what they learn.
I agree that divorce in today's society is way too easy. That should be addressed by looking at the divorce law and also by educating young people as to what marriage is supposed to be about. In a fairy tale world, marriage should be a sacred union full of trust and love. We don't live in that world however. The truth is that counseling will only go so far in some cases.
2006-09-22 06:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage should be a sacred union, but too many negative factors enter into many marriages. No one should be forced to stay in a marriage where they are treated badly. In cases like abuse, the person giving the abuse cannot be helped just by counseling. This is something that has entered a persons life way before they met you, most often coming from abuse in the home growing up. It just goes so far beyond. I know people may think that counseling changes everything from sad to happy, but it's just not true. Now I understand trying counseling, but if it fails, nobody is expected to live out a life where their life and possibly the childrens life is in harms way. In a perfect world, marriages should last forever. I don't believe in giving up just because you want to run around, but there are exceptions to every rule.
2006-09-22 06:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some times even counseling can not save a marriage. If two people are unhappy in a relationship what is the point of staying together. You are only on this earth for a short time so you should be happy.
2006-09-22 07:21:02 · answer #5 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree to an extent, but....... if a marriage is broken, beyond repair.... what do you do? work it out? easy to say, hard to do.. how can you trust (marriage is all about trust) someone who cheats on you? What if your husband ends up in jail (the obvious answer is dont' marry a guy like that but again, easier said than done) Should you stay married to a guy in jail for say, drugs... assault? What about abuse and so on... I'm pointing out that there are serious reasons to leave a relationship. Especially if there's children involved. (If your home isn't happy and full of love for your partner, how will your children maintain a healthy relationship?) Okay, but I do agree... too many people use it as a way out whenever a fight occurs, and too many people don't realize how powerful of a commitment marriage is/and is supposed to be.
2006-09-22 06:44:52 · answer #6 · answered by rachael 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is horrible, and yes you are right, if you can work it out you should. Let me ask you a question though, if your spouse was cheating on you and just throwing it right in your face would you stay with him? You are stupid if you would, no offense. You must be a Christian, if not, you are taking the opinion of one, and even God himself gave the ok for divorce when adultery was the reason the marriage was falling apart. If you have a spouse and haven't had any of these problems with him then hold onto him because he is one of the few faithful men that are left in this world.
2006-09-22 06:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by Bridezilla 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
drop us a line when you are in our position, when you are married to a drunk, an abuser, a cheat, a pedophile, a rapist etc
I have only experience the drunk & the liar, I stay for 12 years
by the time I walk out and get a divorce it was 13 years
now do you think that I should have continue to sacrifice myself
so far I have not meet a divorce person who have decided to get ot of their marriage lightly
Thank God for who ever have come up with the idea of divorce
I am remarried now and I am very happy with a wonderful man
but I will tell you this I will defend, give my husband the best of me be there for him is he needs me, support him
but the only sacred union I have is with my children the one that I have now and the one that I will have in the future
2006-09-22 06:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there are no good options. So if a woman is being abused she needs counseling??? Divorce is a better option for a woman married to a man that would lay a hand on her.
2006-09-22 06:38:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lenny B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if there is abuse in the relationship then I see no reason to be in a bad relationship. If it is something that could be fixed it would have to be up to both parties to want to go to counseling. Usually one doesn't want to bother and fix it, then what do you do then? I think it is way to easy to get married and way to easy to get a divorce now a days. Nothing anybody can do about it now it has gone way to far.
2006-09-22 06:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋