He says it isn't right for me to be involved and I need to work things out with him or stay single. I have tried to reconcile twice now and he is very mean about the whole thing. I feel like he is a game player and he uses my son to get to me. Any advice?
2006-09-22 06:33:55 · 19 answers · asked by out4justicenwv 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What part of "ex" doesn't he get? He's a psycho. He's out to ruin if for you cause it causes him pleasure. Apparently he's got it into his head that if he can't have you, no one else will... No new lover will want to stick around for this kind of thing, the guy is nutz. Enlighten him with a baseball bat,, lol.. okay you can't do that,, and moving isn't financially feasible (probably),, and Restraining orders take time, money, and more than threats to reinforce (many times).
First off, quite being flighty,, quit going back and working it out. Stand your ground and don't play into his mind games, you're only enabling the behavior, whether you realize that or not. You're giving him false hope. Be consistent! You guys aren't a couple anymore, his thoughts should not be taken into consideration about what kind of person you are, and what is best for you. YOU determine that!
He's playing up your emotional insecurities, and you're playing into his game.. decide you don't want to play and he'll likely go find another person to put on his "team"..
Weird thing is that you don't realize what a GODDESS you are, this fool needs you, and wants you,,and is lost without you,, he's trying to suppress your happiness cause he's knows he can't get it that good again. He's scared now that you realize that, that's why he tries to ruin it for you, when you try to move on with other relationships. GO BE THE DIVA YOU ARE,...drop this loser, he probably wasn't well endowed anyway, ;o)... good luck
2006-09-22 07:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Manatee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would walk away from him. Obviously, he is not interested in reconcilation, otherwise he would have been nice about it and you wouldn't be asking for advice on this in the first place. While it is not right by any means, a lot of ex's will use the child to get to their ex. The best way to deal with this is to ignore the messages your ex is sending with your son. You are not obligated to stay single or be with the man you had once been married to. Because he is giving you an ultimatium under circumstances he cannot control, leads me to believe he might be controlling. I would speak to an attorney about the situation, and see what can be done, in case the situation escalates. As far as being single, if you feel ready to start dating again, I would go for it! If not, take some time to sort things out, as it seems you have a lot on your mind. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-22 06:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by Awesomeness!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rough spot to be in. Do you have custody? Then I think I would lay down some serious ground rules...this guy is STILL controlling you...I hate to think what the marriage was like! Why do you care what he says about your dating? He is an EX, and make sure he knows it. No matter what you do, he is evil enough to use his OWN son to achieve HIS goals...rotten father, to say the least. Good luck dear, you will need it. I would love to say that in time, your son will see this guy for what he is, but this is not an ideal world..the jury is out on that one.
2006-09-22 06:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's very mean about it, then it's pretty obvious to me that your relationship is over. There's no way you want to go back to him. Also, there's no excuse for using your son to get to you.
If there's no way for you to pound some sense into his head, you may need to take legal action. If you think that may happen, my advice is to document everything. Whenever he pulls some stupid stunt, write down exactly what happened - dates, names, times, places, you name it. Also, talk to a lawyer.
It's best if you can resolve this amicably, but it sounds like he's only interested in playing hardball. That being the case, you probably have to play hardball too. Talk to that lawyer, because this is liable to get ugly.
2006-09-22 06:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first get a restraining order on him asap!! this guy is in it to control you. He really doesn't want to be back with you but he wants to remain in control of your life and the things you do! it is a game to him. He knows using your son will affect you and that's what he wants to do!!! once you get that order placed against him he will see that you are fighting back and will not be his little puppet any longer. Might piss him off but it should help liberate you!
good luck
2006-09-22 06:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from the situation. I have gone through something similar to this, and you should get away. By that i m ean MOVE. I know it probably isnt that easy, but thats what needs to be done. My life sucked for 2 years until i moved away and all the problems went with it. You can always work out things with kids and such. But to continue on with your life i would move away from the area.
2006-09-22 06:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by green_wave49 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be confident and courageous enough to move on with your life..It takes time.It took me 8 yrs to believe I was good enough to be with someone. And not let his game playing get to me anymore. Until you can do that your relationship with anyone else will not work out.
2006-09-22 06:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by Smurfette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just shoot him. Sounds evil, but it works. If you're not into guns, tell him your new boyfriend is an Army Green Beret, and that he doesn't take well to your former boyfriends getting involved. That should do the trick.
...till next time.
2006-09-22 06:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by nomoretv4me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not allow him to get into your business. When it is visitation time for Dad then you go with your business do not let the child know what is going on. If your ex does not know what is going on then therefore he cannot break your relationships off.
2006-09-22 06:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl kick his butt to the curve and don't look back!!! He isn't worth your time!! Sounds like a control freak!! Ive had a few of those in my past life! He just doesn't want to see you happy!!! Let go of him and move on! Its your life! You are the one in controll of it! Not him! You can do better! I promise!!!! Ive been there! Good luck!!!!!!!! Be happy!! You deserve it!!!!!
2006-09-22 06:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by TBONE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋