My wife is really jealous and it is ruining our marriage. Its to the point she has a problem if I want to go to my brothers house or help a friend move out of his home. I commute to work in the Chicago land area so traffic is really bad sometimes and I arrive home late and it causes a big fight. We do spend pretty much all of our time together so its not like I ignore her or have an opportunity to cheat (which she thinks I am). I am not the type of person to cheat nor do I want to. I tried to talk to her about it but she says she is doing nothing wrong. She uses our son against me as well. She says if I break up with her she is going to take our son and move back with her parents in Mexico. I feel trapped here and not sure where to go. I really think she has a mental problem.
2006-09-22 05:19:25 · 21 answers · asked by tays232003 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try to give her a dosage of her own medicine and do a little reverse psychology on her when her jealousy level starts raising up the bar. Until she experiences herself how you can easily doubt her for anything and make issues out of nothing will she realize how difficult it is being for you.
Just the same, maybe this is her way for you to spend as much time as you can with your family. She probably just needs some quality time with you so that she'll feel that you are still a family.
2006-09-22 05:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by kamahalan_12 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have found in my own marriage that when the other person is overly paranoid that you are cheating its because they are or they have. If there is no reason for her to remotely believe you are cheating and she is still acting this way its because she is doing something wrong. They (those that cheat) feel that if they are doing something wrong then the other person is as well, or they cause fights to make it seem like they are justified in cheating. You should scope out what SHE is doing, plus there isn't a way that she can just take your son and move to another country without you permission. Consult a lawyer and get all the info you need. If she does pack up and move without your permission that's called Kidnapping and she will go to prison for that!!!
2006-09-22 12:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you said "...back to Mexico." I think you said a lot. She is out of her element here and probably feels real insecure. I am guessing you are a natural citizen of the USA and she is not? Just a guess of course... She probably feels that you could easily hide another woman from her and her fears are creating issues that do not really exist... Ask her why she is afraid and why she thinks something is going on... Then ask her what you can do to help her believe you are true to her? Tell her you want her to feel secure and be able to trust you, but you need her to help you know how you can do that... Give her some say so in this and she will come around once she sees you are concerned and want to make her feel secure...
2006-09-22 12:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to go to a counselor, this problem goes further then you, it goes back to may be her parents. Have you ever sit down and had a talk with her about her insecurities, as to just because I may be late, I am not doing nothing. And she should not be putting stuff in your son"s head, more parents mess their own children up, by saying stuff that grown ups, should be dealing with. Tell her that you think she need to get help.
2006-09-22 12:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No child should never ever be used as a weapon.
I would suggest talking to a marriage councilor.
What you need:
Witness that can document the threats of her leaving and taking your child with her
Visit a lawyer find out where you stand and what your rights are if she were to leave.
You happiness is something to consider. Will you be happier not having to defend your self all of the time?
Make sure the home or apt that you live in is in your name.
Make sure all your bills are paid. Your credit is good.
Remember that courts are more apt to award custody of minor kids to moms.
Document all threats. If she leaves voice mails record them and save all letters or e-mails or notes.
Protect your self and make sure if she does make good on her threats you can still have access to your child.
2006-09-22 13:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Ryce Queen 13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah that is a little extreme...has she had a bad experience with cheating in the past? That might be why she is that way. Maybe you should suggest couples therapy so you can get to the root of the problem if she won't start to trust you a little more. Best of luck :)
2006-09-22 12:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by Katy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are correct
however, past experience tells me that when the partner is blaming the other for a 'crime' for lack of a better word, the accuser is usually the one with the guilty conscience and tries to make partner feel bad to make theirselves feel better.
Its time 4 u to lay down the law and tell her to quit or get out, w/o the kid
2006-09-22 12:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by koleebear 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like one of two things you have given her a reason or reasons to be jealous and you're not coming clean about it or you guys are not getting enough martial intimacy going on in the bedroom. So which is it?
2006-09-22 12:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by cinattra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its another form of OCD. Once she became worried about this , it became an obsession. Something she won't get over until she see's a psychologist. With counseling and some meds. she should be able to get over it. She can't help herself. People with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) do things that are out of their control. Get her some help. good luck
2006-09-22 12:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by penelope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sounds like a trust issue. AND you said your wife is of Mexican descent? While it doesn't include everybody, in Mexico it is a common practice for men to have "little houses" which means they have someone on the side for just sex. They still love their wives but...well...it is a macho thing.
I think your wife is worried about that and doesnt' want it to happen to her. I think you should talk to her...you need to build up trust for yourself in her eyes.
Good Luck
2006-09-22 12:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by sewshawn 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋