parrenting. Look all I said was that I didnt want to be with my boyfriend that I am engaged to and that I was proposed to by a friend and I didnt know what to do because I feel obligated to be with my boyfriend because I have a child with him. I realy would rather be with the other guy and no I have not been cheating on my boyfriend with him so I dont know why he would want to marry me but I believe him. I realy dont want to hurt my boyfriend but I would rather be his friend and nothing more. I have talked to my friend about our problems and she said she wouldnt want to marry him anymore either but I just feel so guilty. I tell him all the time that I dont want to be with him and he just ignores me. He will just change the subject so how can I talk to him about this. I have just given up. I do want to ge tmarried I mean I have kids and I want them to have a mother and a father but why should I marry someone that makes me misserable? I know you can be ingaged for a while
2006-09-22 04:31:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
before getting married but I am afraid to because well I have been engaged to my boyfriend for 3 years and all he does is make excuses why he cant do it right now and I am just so sick of it. Its like he figures he has what he wants already so why should he marry me you know. This other guy wants to buy rings and all that and I realy care bout him but I havent seen him in 7 years and now he just comes back into my life wanting to marry me. I dated him in highschool and we almost had sex but I made him stop I was a virgin and it hurt. He was a total gentlman about it and stopped. He was adopted when he turned 18 he was thrown out so he didnt have a place to live and some other girl liked him so he went with her instead. I was crushed but I realy dont care about that anymore it was a long time ago and I believe he is sorry and would never do something like that again. I guess I am just scarred of what might happen I do love both of them i just dont want to hurt either of them.
2006-09-22 04:41:19 · update #1
You neglected to mention that the other guy is in prison…
Don’t you think that the fact he has been in prison for the past six years, is worth mentioning???
You also neglected to mention that you actually have ‘two’ kids…
“I have 2 kids one of them belongs to my current boyfriend”…
I guess you didn’t think that that was worth mentioning either ???
“I love my daughters father but I hate to have sex with him I just do it to shut him up”
“I dont want to be with my daughters father”
“Me and my boyfriend get along good but I hate having sex with him I just get disgusted I mean he has realy bad breath and he doesnt want to shave yes he takes showers and he will brush his teeth when I tell him to but his breath still stinks.”
“He likes cars wich is fine but he will go spend all our money on a 67 chevelle instead of paying our house payment. I hate living like this. I feel obligated to him because I have his child but I am realy not happy being his girlfriend anymore. Why should I have to worry about weather or not he is going to pay the house payment or buy another car we dont need. I have a 2 car garrage that has 3 cars in it and that isnt all the cars he has either. I have a barn and a cement slab all loaded with cars.”
They are just some quotes I dug out of your previous questions…
(It felt like I was reading a bloody book !!!)
From what I could gather from those earlier questions, the other guy hasn't even kissed you yet...
What if he has got bad breath???
Look, all I am going to suggest is that you do what you believe is best for those two beautiful children of yours.
If you don’t know what that is, then how about you and that boyfriend of yours go and have a chat with a counsellor.
I think that that just might be the least you can do for your kids !!!
2006-09-22 04:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are miserable in this relationship with your boyfriend then dont marry him.Regardless if you have kids with him or not,that can be worked out they can still have a father figure even though he may not live there.There are many familys that are seperated but they still have a mom and dad that care and love them.As for the friend I have no idea why he would want to marry you if its just a friendship thing,i would be very careful there.Break up with your current boyfriend its not good to keep dragging this along when your heart is not in it.Once you break it off he can be happy with someone that wants him and you can actually find the happiness that you deserve whether it is with this friend of yours or another man.But I wouldnt go jumping into anything feet first either.Give it time.I wish you the best of luck i know this is a hard desicion to make.
2006-09-22 04:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your desire to be married and give your child a "normal" family, but is there really a rush to do this? Why would you have to marry either one of them right away? It is clear that you don't want to be with your boyfriend. You've told him so, but he ignores you when you say this. If you're waiting for him to take some action on it, it is up to you to make a move if you no longer want to be with him. You owe it to yourself and to your child not to get stuck with the wrong person for the rest of your life. As to the other guy, once you and your boyfriend are split up, sure - date him again - there could be something there. But I'd advise against letting him get all chummy with your child. This can just confuse him, and if you and he don't end up together, your child will have lost another "daddy". Don't let them bond until you are sure that he's the guy for you, then introduce your child into the relationship more seriously.
2006-09-22 05:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mary C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should firstly think of your child. Is your current boyfriend the father? If he is then whatever happens in the future he does have a say in your childs life and will always be a part of your life because of this. Are you certain that you want to be with this other guy? Could it just be a form of escapism from everyday motherhood and domesticity? Are you just very flattered that this other guy has asked you to marry him? Perhaps answering these questions for yourself would help you to move on in your decision making.
2006-09-22 04:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by Go Wolves 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As an unwed mother who is engaged to a man that is not the father of my child, let me tell you, never settle for less than you deserve. If you're not happy, don't stay with him, you don't need his permission to leave, its not his decision, it is yours. Follow your heart, and your head, if you're unhappy, and being with him just doesn't make sense anymore, and if there is someone else that you'd rather be with, go! You only have one life, you don't get a second chance, there are no do-overs, and one day you may turn around and decide that you really don't want to be with your boyfriend, that you'd rather be with this friend you're talking about, but by then he may be gone. Life is about taking chances, and doing what is right for you, but only you can know what is right for you. Do what's in your heart, don't stay with somebody that makes you miserable just because you feel guilty, its not your faul he can't make you happy, its his. Good luck, and may you be happy in all your decisions.
2006-09-22 04:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Kristina 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart! Communication is the key to unlock any question. Have a dinner party for just the three of you and clear the air so all of you can breathe and move on. Just remember, travel carefully so that YOU don't get hurt. After the air is cleared, talk with the children. Get everyones ideas, but stay true to your beliefs! After-all, it's your choice!
2006-09-22 04:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by Gary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's true you should be a relationship that you want it shouldn't be your main concern. You are living with one guy. You are in an unstable situation. Make your children your priority. Establish a stable home enviroment for them and yourself before you jump from one man to another for whatever reason. Your children's considerations come before yours in ALL things. The fact that you don't recognize that shows that you are very immature. Think about the damage you are causing your kids and what kind of example are you setting for them as a parent as well as an example of dysfunctional relationships. You need to learn how to be stable before you just keep making the same mistake over and over. You once had a good relationship with your current bf didn't you.
2006-09-22 04:47:42 · answer #7 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look in your heart. women have a enter voice. you know who is the better person and who makes you the happiest. And as far as the child. If you are only with the father because of the child ,not because you love him and enjoy being with him.IT WILL NOT WORK.
2006-09-22 04:41:54 · answer #8 · answered by laura rivas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL !!! Oh my gosh that grew to become into Soooooo humorous !!!! i like the two considered one of those. 1st comedian tale he have been given what he asked for . Ahhhhaaa haaa ha. 2nd comedian tale So actual and clever. I truthfully on no account bypass a opptunity to pee. Ha ha ha. thank you Jake (( HUGS)) Suger computer virus
2016-10-01 06:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by bradberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH EITHER OF THESE GUYS. YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST.
YOU SHOULD BE ALONE FOR A WHILE. LEARN HOW TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET. SHOW YOUR CHILD HOW RESPONSIBLE, HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE ADULTS BEHAVE. SHOW YOUR CHILD THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT BEING IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE OR MAKING EXCUSES FOR A FELON, TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY.
IT IS SO MUCH BETTER FOR A CHILD TO BE IN A BROKEN HOME THAN LIVE IN A MISERABLE SITUATION. QUIT BEING SO SELFISH AND THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR BEHAVIOR MODELS FOR YOUR CHILD, HOW AN ADULT SHOULD BEHAVE.
PUT ASIDE YOUR NEEDINESS AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S NEEDS. YOU HAVE A CHILD DEPENDING ON YOU, SO YOU NEED TO RISE TO THE CHALLENGE.
2006-09-22 06:03:50 · answer #10 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋