Ladies dealing with x wifes...?

Question

How many times a month does your husbands x call?
My husbands x calls about 30 times a month...is this unusuall and should i be upset about this?? They do have children 11 and 9 yr old.

well the children live with her so she is not calling to talk to the kids every day...and she is remarried also but still calls him if for example her mom is sick and she is upset...she also has left her current husband a few times and we were more than happy to have the children come to out house during this time but she also continued to call and cry on my husbands shoulder about this...she will call 6 times a week to confirm when he is picking the kids up...note he has ALWAYS picked them up when he was suppose to and it is a set time....

I have told him that i feel that is a bit too much but all he says is that he can't help how many times she calls him

Answer 1

I'm married to a man that has two daughters (11 and 9.) He doesn't talk to his ex that much at all. His girls are old enough to relay whats going on. If he wants the girls to stay the night or come with us, he calls them and they ask their mom. He talks to her only if he has to. Does your husband feel annoyed by all the calls? 30x a month is a bit much........That's ridiculous! Absolutely not. It's not right for her to be crying on his shoulders, that's what "her" husband or friends are for. I would definately let him know that I don't feel comfortable with that.

Answer 2

I don't EVER call my exhusband. If I do, it's only to tell him some news about our 12 year old daughter. And just to make sure his new wife didn't get upset, I opened an email account for my daughter so now the two of them can talk with out me involved at all. All parties involved are civil. We even spent Christmas at my moms house 2 years ago. (my husband, me, our children, my husbands family and my exhusband and his new wife) The way I see it, I'm 33 years old and I really don't have time to play games. HIs ex needs to be told that it's not nessesary to call unless it's an emergancy about the children. I think YOU should talk to her. Try to become her friend. She'll hate the idea of being chummy with you and may pull back a little.

Answer 3

Yes, 30 calls a month is 'over the top'. Even with children, needing to contact the ex that often is just insane. I'm sure her motives are not child-oriented. Sounds more like harassment. And yes, you should be upset about it.

Have you husband tell her that unless it is an emergency or some other decision that *requires* both parents, she has no reason to call.

Answer 4

They talk almost every day because they have a 7 year old daughter together. I think as long as they have children together, you shouldnt worry about this. Every day is 30 times a month. Sometimes she calls twice in a day if they are having a hard time figuring out which days he can have his daughter or if she is sick. I dont think its something you have to worry about at all. Dont be the insecure girlfriend... the x will realize that right away and could easily make things harder for you.

Answer 5

my man has a 9.y.o. daughter and i've been with him since she was almost 4. At the beginning the ex called VERY often just to fu*ck with me. She wanted him to help her with stupid things that she could do herself BUT NO! she wouldnt leave him alone because she wanted to be a b*itch because she didnt have a new man when her ex already had me.
now that she has a bf she doesnt call that much anymore (that I know). We dont have a phone at home because with our cellphones we have enough and i would say she calls like once a month now. Maybe she calls him when he is working and how am I going to know? I used to get furious when she called him but now i don't give a crap anymore. I got a man with a "package" and I have to deal with it. The kid is the one who calls every morning to ask him what time is he going to pick her up to go to school WHEN SHE KNOWS HE WILL BE THERE ANYWAYS but next time i see her I will be nice but DEFINITELY let her know that she doesnt have to call that early unless it's an emergency.
Don't get jealous, Don't get mad because you wont gain ANYTHING. Jealousy is a TURN OFF for men, trust me. I know how you feel because I was there but think that you are THE WIFE, THE ONE LIVING WITH HIM and if she calls so often YOU answer the damn phone and tell her he is not in. If it's an emergency then she is going to talk to you, but if it's not an emergency she will hang up and you will have a BIG smile in your face!

Answer 6

First off - this is your husbands problem and he should handle her.

If it pertains to the children - I think she could sum it up in a "weekly" call.

If it was an emergency - ANY time is appropriate.

IF, it interrupts his parenting time and she is doing it to bug the kids - then it needs to stop.

My husbands ex USED to call in excess of 18-20 TIMES A DAY!

The courts took care of that - we now have a court order that states she is only allowed to call ONCE between certain hours and that is also, when the child is with us. ONLY if there is an emergency is she allowed to call outside the alloted time.

Invest in a caller ID Printer - works wonders for a court case!

Answer 7

I would normally say it is a good thing for ex's to stay in contact, because of the children..(less stress on them)...but...honestly, 30 times a month is just 26 times too many...(The calls cant all be about the childrens welfare etc..)...It is also nice to stay friends but I bet even your friends...dont phone that often..She either cant let go and move on or better check with your hubby as the reasons why......(no-one here can answer for him)....good luck, hope it stops soon....

Answer 8

i got pissed when my husbands ex was calling every day. that is way to much in my opinion. The have a now 3 year old together and she only calls when there is something important going on in the child life which is about 5 times a month.

Answer 9

With the kids i do expect them to keep in touch! But 30 times a month that's like once a day and if she is calling to talk to the kids that's also another thing! if she is call to talk to him and it's not about the kids i would be upset!
he is your husband have you talked about this with him!
have you let him know that it is disturbing you?
see ifyou can't invite her over for a dinner one night without the kids and ask her nicely to only call about the kids ensure you have hubby approvel before you do the confrontation!
good luck
Mad luv

Answer 10

It depends on why they are talking. If they are talking to discuss things going on with the children and it is strictly talk about what to do for them then there is nothing wrong with it. As the parents they need to have open communication regarding their kids. If the conversations are casual and the ex is calling just to talk like they are best buddies that is when I would be concerned...