We are going to a restaurant and maybe we'll catch a movie as well, should we both pay or should I?
2006-09-22 04:13:25 · 25 answers · asked by lacoste 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
o dude, u pay for sure
2006-09-22 04:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by person 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The key sticking point here is that you have only met her online.
If you had met the girl offline and you had gelled with each other, you'd asked her out on a date and she'd accepted then I would tend to say that it's pretty cool if you cover the first date. (Yes, even if she earns more than you - there will always be later occasions when she can buy you drinks, to show you that she's interested in your company more than your money).
Given that you've only met her online so far though, a word of caution: you've had zero opportunity to assess her body language, voice tone, facial expression - all the things you usually get when you meet and interact with someone for the first time.
Therefore, this isn't a first date so much as a "pre-date". If you make it a real date you'll be trying to meet her in person for the first time and take her out on a first date all at once. And it's really not advisable to take a girl out on a date before you've actually met her in person and decided that she's the kind of girl you'd like to take out.
No matter how much you think you know her now, the reality can always be a little bit different - I had a friend who voice-chatted, texted and shared photos with a girl online (halfway across the world) for eight months only to find when they finally met up that they had zero chemistry with each other and didn't even want to spend time with each other!
It's probably more sensible to go halves the first time you meet and then if all goes well, take her out on a proper first date, pay for everything and sweep her off her feet, like she deserves. You can tell her ahead of time if you like that you want your first meeting with her at the restaurant and the cinema to be more easygoing and less full on romance, so she doesn't conclude you're a cheapskate.
That has the added advantage of reducing the pressure on both of you to have a "perfect" first date - and if you're more relaxed then you'll probably enjoy each other's company more too!
If she objects to going halves the first time you meet or she seems distant afterwards, you'll know that her first priority was to freeload and meeting you was only a secondary convenience.
2006-09-22 07:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by Alan L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you gotta pay. As much as society has changed, this one thing really hasn't. Most women will be offended if you don't insist on paying. Let her pay her half only if she seems genuinely upset at the prospect of her not paying her half. Many women will make a token gesture of offering to pay their share, but if you accept, it's a mark against you.
But it's okay to keep the date cheap! Hit the movie first (that way you'll have something to talk about during dinner) so you can catch the "bargain" showing. Then take her to a somewhat quiet restaurant that's on the budget side.
After a couple of dates, you can suggest renting a movie instead of going to one, and eat takeaway or cook for her.
I don't hold it against a guy for trying to keep things inexpensive, but fair or not, I (and every woman I know) am completely put off by a guy who wants to "go dutch."
2006-09-22 08:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by spam_n_eggs_n_spam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like we are able to avoid this question since you posted it under every possible category. Okay, I'll advise you.
This is a first meeting, doesn't really qualify as a date in the usual sense. Online, you and she should have clarified that since most women would not want to be put in a position of being beholding to a man they may find they can't stand. A smart woman would insist on paying her way "so that we can get to know one another." If you hit it off, you can set up a second date and you have to pay. If she does not offer to pay 50/50 on the first meeting then you must do the gentlemanly thing and pay up. Who knows, maybe she is putting you to the test. Even if you can't stand her, you must pay. Then be vague about a second date.
First dates, initial assessment meetings are always difficult because there are no hard and fast rules. I always believe in telling the whole truth about me, especially the financial aspects. If you are working but barely, school, etc., you must be upfront about your ability to sustain frequent dating and pay for it all. If she is employed and is secure in herself she will offer to pay "every other" date and then you and she set the pattern. Never hide the bad news because you then have to keep covering your boasting and eventually you crash and burn. I understand that this is what led Clyde to have to rob banks. He was broke and Bonnie was a looker and then some and he had to have the dough to get her.
Come to think of it, if I were Clyde and Bonnie looked like Faye Dunaway, I'd mosey over to the nearest bank and draw my six shooter and rob them blind. Damn sure would.
2006-09-22 05:04:28 · answer #4 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sir:
If you invited her out for the date I think the appropriate thing to do would be that you pay the expenses. If she should offer in assisting with thee expenses then consider whether you are trying to impress her or is this just more of a friendly outing? If you are attenpting to impress her, Dude, pay the expenses by all means. This could be "just a test". Should she insist to aiding with the expenses, then allow her to do so. I would think that she wasn't very serious regarding the relationship if she offered to pay but who really knows what a woman wants? Ask M. Gibson.
2006-09-22 04:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by SONNY N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you gotta pay. as much as society has replaced, this one undertaking incredibly hasn't. maximum women folk individuals would be indignant in case you do not insist on paying. permit her pay her 0.5 provided that she looks surely disillusioned on the possibility of her not paying her 0.5. many women individuals will make a token gesture of offering to pay their proportion, yet once you compromise for, that could be a mark against you. although that is okay to maintain the date affordable! Hit the movie first (that way you have some thing to speak approximately in the time of dinner) so which you will capture the "good deal" showing. Then take her to a rather quiet eating place it is on the fee variety area. After a pair of dates, you could recommend renting a movie quite of going to a minimum of one, and consume takeaway or prepare dinner for her. i don't carry it against a guy for attempting to maintain issues much less costly, yet honest or not, I (and each lady i understand) am thoroughly positioned off by potential of a guy who needs to "bypass dutch."
2016-12-18 14:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always on the first date, later on 50/50
2006-09-22 04:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by Heidi L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the first date, each of you pay your own. A restaurant can be expensive and movies aren't cheap any more either, if either of you are strapped for cash , then do one or the other but not both.
2006-09-22 05:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I usually go by, whoever is the asker has more incentive to pay.
I have never minded doing 50/50 though.
2006-09-23 04:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by kermit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go dutch. If she's keen on seeing you again, then you pay for the next date. Play it by ear and GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-22 04:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like her and want her to like you back, then you pay. Its a total turn off when a guy doesnt pay.
2006-09-22 04:23:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋