I am a mother of 4 girls, of them 3 are teenagers. I have tried to raise them in such a way that they would never be afraid to come to me with any probs. that they might have. Their friends see this as well and take full advantage of it. They refer to me as The Cool mom". Last night , one of my daughters friends came to me with the concearn that she might be pregnant. I bought a home test which turned out with a poistive result. The girl is terrified to tell her mother. After questioning her, I am not sure how far along she could be. Maybe up to 3 or 4 months along. To complicate things...This girl has epilepsy. She is on 2 types of medication for it and after consulting my book of meds. I discovered that it is not safe for the developing fetus. I urged her to tell her mother, but she said her mom would kill her. The mom is under the impression that her daughter is a virgin. I am sure that this girl will hide the pregnancy as long as possible. I must do something,..
2006-09-22 04:12:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh, my... you are in a hard position.
You must, of course, make sure her mother knows. You CAN cop out and contact social services about this problem and let them take it from there, but I wouldn't.
If I were in your shoes, I would invite the mother over to my house and tell her "Janie has a big problem and she's scared to death to tell you because she thinks you'll be angry, maybe even kick her out of the house.(here mom will deny that there's anything that make her do that)... Yes, I know that, but at this age they have no clue how much a mother's love will forgive. (Now she will have to at least pretend she can live up to that ideal).
Well, you know that boy, Bobby, that she's been seeing? (Either mom likes the boy and will relax a little or she hates him, and will blame HIM not you or Janie for whatever the bad news is) They weren't very careful, I'm afraid, and Janie's expecting.... Before she has a chance to respond, start discussing the very real, practical worries about how her medication might affect the baby... this should divert, or at least divide, her attention from the fact that her "virgin" daughter went and got knocked up.
Good luck
2006-09-22 04:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's waaay easier to do these things in packs. If you initiate the conversation between the mother and the daughter and act as a mediator. I mean- the mom needs to know- we're not just talking about a pregnant teen here. The medication that she's taking can have a negative effect on the baby. The adults (her parents along with your help) need to come up with a solution that will work best for the mom & the baby. Something needs to be done a.s.a.p.
I hope everything works out.
2006-09-22 11:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by dre & ani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK TO HER MOTHER! unless she is a psycho! my sister has epilepsy and i understand the serious problems with being pregnant, if ii were u i would sit her mother down have a one on one and be calm but serious...or u could handle it all and take her to the doctor and take care of everything... dont let it go be a good person and do what u can good luck and God bless that girl!
PS u could tell her mom that she told ur daughter and ur daughter told u so that she wont get mad/jealous of u
2006-09-22 11:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by â?¥CURiOUSâ?¥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is bad! You are correct you must do something. Even if it makes you the not so cool mom anymore. I would call her mother and ask her if she can come over. I would tell her everything that you told us. You don't want things to get worse. The longer this goes on the worse it will get. Tell her at once. I sure would! You have to!
2006-09-22 11:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the Mom. How would you feel if one of your girls went to someone else, and you were not told? Talk to the Mom, you need to. It will ease your mind, and it will help the girl. Sure the Mom will be upset, as any parent would be, but it sounds like she could use some Mom support too. Good luck to everyone.
2006-09-22 11:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that the girl go and see her epilepsy doctor. Maybe she could set up her own appt and then when it comes to the parents I would talk to the girl again and ask her if she would feel more comfortable telling them if you were there.
2006-09-22 11:38:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have epilepsy and had to stop my meds when i was preg for all 3 of my kids. tell the mom aso she can get off her meds see a doc and get proper med. treatment the baby could end up w/sever deformalities. how would you feel if it was one of your kids. nomatter how close you feel sometimes the other feels different due to certain circumstances. wouldn't you want a healthy grand baby. espically when you can help it
2006-09-22 11:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a tough one. Why don't you take the intuitive to take her to the doctor's. If you are really concerned about it then I would do it. Then eventually tell the mother. Good luck.
2006-09-22 11:19:06 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the young lady and explain to her that it would be better if they heard it from her first, you should go with her in case she needs someone, then if she does not, then you should tell the parents while she is there with you,
2006-09-22 11:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by lala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray about it and let GOD direct you.
2006-09-22 11:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by jjokonda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋