My husband prefers to mastubate than make love to me. I feel so insulted and unloved.?

Question

I do my best to please him. He's forever hooked to pornographic videos and websites. I try and do everything shown in the videos to please him to no avail. He doesnt get turned on no matter what I do. What should I do?

Answer 1

I feel really sorry for what you are going through.
It’s a real ars* !!!

I really don’t know what to suggest to you.
I’m trying to avoid suggesting that you divorce him !

I don’t know if you have been through ‘counselling’ or not.
I’m inclined to think that your husband wouldn’t want to have anything to do with the idea.

I’m almost tempted to suggest to you that you deliberately download a virus on to the computer, so that he will at least be prevented from downloading the porn from the internet.
Of course, that wouldn’t be much good, if you happen to use the same computer for Yahoo7 Answers.

Look, I’m sorry, but it seems you have exhausted all options available to you, other than to just up and leave him.
You have tried everything to satisfy him, so apart from chopping his bloody hands off so he can’t masturbate, you really don’t have a choice other than to get out of that ‘crap’ relationship, and work toward one that affords you the respect that you deserve !!!

Let him masturbate himself silly…
Just don’t be around when he is doing it.
Sorry I can’t think of anything more helpful for you !
I wish you well !!!

Answer 2

This has very little to do with you and who you are, and everything to do with him. Porn, creates an idea and illusion of sexual practice that is unrealistic and impossible to live up to. No matter how you alter your intimate activity, you're going to have a hard time competing with the fantasy he's created. You're essentially chasing a shadow.

They say that addiction to porn is tougher to crack than smoking and/or cocaine. Until he is ready to admit he has a problem and change his life for the better, there is little you can do to help him. The sad part is that his addiction, which has already come at a price, that being normal sexual function, may ultimately cost him the people he loves. It is not uncommon for individuals in his situation to suffer bouts of self-loathing, depression and feelings of inadequacy. In other words, he's probably unhappy, as well. I feel for you. Life's too friggin complicated!

Answer 3

hmm...As far as the masturbation before making love to you is so it he can last longer and he may please you. Dont look at it as being an insult. My husband and I have an awesome sex life and even he will do this anticipating later..so hes not over anxious. Think of it as your so darn good in bed he cant handle himself so he needs to wear himself out so he doesnt dissappoint you. Maybe hes looking at these videos and sites for ideas so he may explore in the bedroom w/you and make it more exciting. You know about this so hes obviously not hiding it from you. Instead of questioning it join him and talk about it. Dont be ambarrassed, the best love making is when a couple can talk about it to one another. Trust me..its great. Be open and not so negative towards your husbands actions.

Answer 4

then you'll have to go the tough love route.

I've just discovered my husband is viewing porn. right now,
he's more turned on to me, but I feel used when he's getting
the arousal somewhere else. He looks before I get home.
I've confronted him once...and he said he'd not do it again.
Two months later, I found it in the cookies.

Like you, I've done everything to please him, and since i have
a high libido too, I thought he would realize the "real thing" is
better, and we have a great time sexually. But, I'm starting to
resent him looking.

I fear what has happened to your husband will happen to him.
This is in the latter stages of porn addiciton, from what I've read.
Evidently, he's been in to it a long time.

First, seek help yourself to gain back your confidence.
Second, realize all men do not act this way, and it is not
your fault. (i.e. not skinny enough, not "good" enough in bed)
It's his problem. Don't enable it, and don't put up with it.

I hope this helped. I could be in the same boat.

Answer 5

Men who are hooked on pornography view women as sex objects and have no respect for women at all, let alone have respect for himself!

I have been a marriage for 18 years, knowing that he loves watching pornography but I detest it. So, he did it discreetly and whenever I found out about this, we got into arguments. This problem dragged so long until I came to a point of " If I cant beat him, join him.". It is a decision I regretted for life. Things between us didnt change for the better even though I tried to do what he likes to do. In the end, the worst happened. I found out he cheated on me on a number of times and admitted he cant change his perverted ways. Now, I am in the process of divorcing him.

My point is,honey, pls do not feel insulted at what he is doing. It is his choice, not yours and it is his loss, not yours. You would have to decide if you can carry on living with his ways and if it does not fit you, you better start thinking what you need to do to cater to your own needs now and in future. Dont ever blame yourself for not being able to satisfy him. He chose not to receive it.

Wish you well and take care.

Answer 6

I think you answered your own question...the porn is the problem...it is like a drug, once you get to a certain point, you need more and harder stuff to get the same result. I am willing to bet that his "porn" tastes have gotten more hard core over time and that he is always looking for something new and different.

Talk to him, ask him to see a counselor about his addiction...He will probably refuse, but let him know how it is hurting you and your relationship. If he is ignoring you and your needs, only bad things will come from it. Take care of yourself physically, dress nice, but dang sure quit trying to compete with the porn, you will never win and you will send him the message that you approve. It is a tough battle and I am praying for you...

Answer 7

You deal with it by making use of accumulating up your undesirable, threat free toddlers who've no selection in all this, and also you're taking them someplace secure, such as your mothers and fathers' domicile. you recognize rattling properly his treatment of you is inaccurate. So why are you actively education your 3 year previous and a couple of year previous that adult males are meant to address women like this, and females are meant to take it? it truly is undesirable sufficient that you chosen to create 3 toddlers with such someone, yet they are the following now and there is not any longer some thing to modify that. So be a real mom and look after them. moms are meant to guard their toddlers from some thing that ought to damage them... even hostile to their personal fathers. there are strategies to damage a baby that bypass previous the actual.

Answer 8

I know you feel rejected. But the truth is it's up to him He has to remove the Porn to get his self back on track. He has a commitment to you as your husband to satisfy your needs not just his...He need help pornography is a very hard addiction to break but he must do it The Best thing you can do is to not feed into his addiction and make it a "Co-dependent" type situation

Keep your head up be positive but tell him to drop the Porn!

Answer 9

Your husband needs some counseling or professional help. Masturbation is great when needed but a willing woman always is better no matter the circumstance.

Answer 10

he has a problem and needs to get help, other than this you need to get a divorce because if the only thing that can arouse him is something on a screen he has a problem. Or you could take it from another side and you two could make your own porn or watch it together and do the same thing they do on the T.V