2006-09-22 02:53:35 · 33 answers · asked by Emmauk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you can't change whatever happened, so just try to let it go. I know easier said than done, but that's what you'll have to do eventually
2006-09-22 02:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by Spaceman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate is a powerful word.
All hate comes from fear.
All fear comes from feeling alone and helpless.
Hate is the brave mask we put on when what we really feel is sadness and fear of being alone.
And hate is a breath away from love.
The biggest question we have for those we claim to hate is;
Why Don't You Love ME?
Even soldiers fighting in a war; if they could actually sit one on one with the people they are killing and ask them the deepest question they could ask, it would be why don't you love me? Not even "why do you hate me?"
We use the word and the emotion HATE because it sounds stronger and tougher than the alternative. I hate you sounds powerful and in control. Why don't you love me sounds powerless and out of control. It's the same concept just framed differently.
Find a quiet space and close your eyes.
"See" his face and then imagine his whole person. Imagine that he is sitting in front of you. Add all the details you need to fully imagine him there; hair, eyes, skin, smell etc.
Imagine the feeling you had when you were completely in love and felt that he was also. Feel that joy rising up inside you to have found this one perfect relationship. Imagine looking him right in the eyes and saying "Thank You for our time together."
Now let his image drift a bit frather away from you and allow moments to float up when you started to have your doubts about whether he was really as perfect as you imagined.Remember a time when he said something or did something and you felt how unloving it was. Let all those moments of REALITY come forward until you can separate yourself from the fantasy of who you wanted him to be from the REALITY of who he actually was.
Know, in your heart of hearts, that had you remained together, all those little moments that were not loving would have multiplied until every shred of wonderful was gone and you would have been left far more hurt than you are right now. Know without a dounbt that everything you were supposed to do together in this lifetime is now done.
Know that the time you spent with him was like taking an advanced course in Human Relationships in college and that you passed and now you are going to go out into the world and waiting for you is someone even more special and all the things you have learned will help you create a mature, loving and lasting relationship with the real love of your life.
Replace the hate for the clear and true thought that you loved him and that was enough. YOU got to experience love even if he did not participate in the experience from his side. YOU still got to know and experience love, and that is a good thing.
Now, anytime you think about the first man, you can look at him more like a great movie you watched, or a favorite car you used to drive that you no longer have or a dish of wonderful food that you enjoyed and is now gone.
The purpose of this excercise is to Deflate the fantasy balloon that he was THE ONE. The truth is he was ONE. Not THE one.
2006-09-22 03:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By hating the man who broke your heart you are letting him win by wasting all your energy on this hate...you hurt no one but yourself, because it will in the end leave you bitter towards any other good man who shows an interest in you, and these vibrations will make the next man run a mile away from you, not only that your relationships wont stand a chance lasting if you carry this baggage into it...so i suggest you try to accept, and just let go, and get on with your life. Good Luck.
2006-09-22 03:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Emmauk, you poor baby. I am so sorry to hear that someone has hurt you so badly. To be honest, because I have been hurt in my life too, I can not tell you when you will stop hating him. Maybe never. But I can tell you what to do if you want to turn this situation around in your life. You have to make what is before you more interesting than what is behind you. Get busy making your present life as full, happy and interesting to you as you can. Enjoy where you are and who you are. Celebrate yourself. Have some fun. Try something different. Do something you have always wanted to do. Be with people you love. The more you do that, the more your future will call you out of pain and into hope and yes, maybe even out of hate.
2006-09-22 02:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I went to a shooting range and treated the target like it was him. There was instant relief in that so much so that we ended up getting back together 3 years after we broke up and then married for 7 years now. Now going through a divorce LOL. But I got two beautiful daughters out of the deal so I can't be to upset.
2006-09-22 03:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anjanette A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about who you are and your strong points, not who he is. Whatever he did was not your failing it was his. You deserve someone who will love you, we all do. As much as it hurts sometimes we have to realize that the one thought was the ONE really wasn't. As much as it can hurt it's better to discover those mistakes as early as possible and go on from there.
You can't do anything about someone else. So go on from here and carry yourself in a way that makes people say I want to be part of her life. You'll find what you are looking for and in the long run the only regrets may well be his.
2006-09-22 03:06:24 · answer #6 · answered by toff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eventually, when you find someone else, you just stop really even caring. You don't hate the person because they are the last thing you'd ever think about. For right now, go ahead and think how much you hate that pig and then go about your day. Don't let it rule your life.
2006-09-22 02:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by every1lovesamixedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1/ Gather anything that he has left at your place, and put them in a pile in your garden & burn them.
2/ Or put them in a bag & pour in vinegar & bleach.
3/ Cut all the crotches out of his trousers.
4/ Put chilli pepper in his underwear.
Seriously , my darling - I know it sounds corny, but nothing will stop you hating him until you're ready to; the old adage of "Time Heals Everything".
Whatever you do, don't put your life on hold, DO NOT stay in by yourself & hold pity parties.
Go out, get pissed & snog a few strangers.
You can be whoever you want now that you don't have a useless sack of shite making you feel like this.
Good Luck,
Go & be sluttish for a while & get him out of your system.
Blessed Be !
2006-09-22 03:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by purplewidget789 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how u feel i hate the man that broke my heart that i want to kill his a $ $
2006-09-22 03:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can make u stop.
Until you accept that he did and move on, the feeling of hate will overshadow everything in your life and color your opinion.
Time for you to list out all the great things about yourself and let yourself realize just how wonderful a person you really are! I know it sounds corny but it works!
2006-09-22 02:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by koleebear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you don't hate him.you think you do. life is to short to worry about this man.move on and give your love to someone that will love you back.remember this, you will always have a spot in your heart for this man.
2006-09-22 03:05:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋