when my first girlfried got married, I felt sad?

Question

hi there:
I recently heard that my first gf got married and I still sad. We
splitted over 5 yrs. At that time, she wanted to settle down while
I was not ready to give my committment. When I heard that she
was married, my feeling was complicated. I wish her all the best
. In the meantime, I do feel sad, really.

How to get over this feeling?

thanks for all who has contributed to this question. I do not like to pick the best answer as each one of them do give me some thoughts. Rush does give me some options that I may choose from. To be honest, I felt sense of loss because she is someone else woman. I know it is a bit selfish, what the hell should I let her go at that time? But I just was not ready to give the committment at that time and did not want to lie to her. She was eager to get settled down cause she was older than me at that time, and did receive pressure from her family and social society. I wish her all the best and yes, I should be happy for her because she finally found one who could give her what she was looking for. All the best for her!

Answer 1

That happened to me with a couple of girlfriends too. I think the reason for it is because of losing a part of yourself or if you're a "player" part of your collection.

Marriage locks people down. It's supposed to be a permanent thing so you may feel like she's gone for good and that it could have been YOU making her happy instead of some lame. Or... you might feel like you MAY have missed out on an opportunity. Or, even the EXPERIENCE of what really is a fresh start and a new life.

After dating someone for so long and knowing that person loved you and wanted you and probably would have done anything for you, you might realize that all of it gone - that she's giving that love and devotion to someone else and it's not reserved for you anymore.

And then sometimes you might still have feelings for that person or love their company or conversation and you could realize that all of that is coming to end.

Another reason that you may feel sad is because maybe you felt she was one of your "options" if you did decide to settle down and get married to anyone. Now, that option is gone.

I know it's hard not to think about it. It'll pop up in your head from time to time and you'll say, "Damn, I should have settled down with that chick," but you really just gotta let it go and maybe at least try to friends. In the meantime, don't sit and reminisce over old stuff and old times. Get out and keep talking to new women and making new "friends". Go to social events. Take up a new hobby. Just don't sit and fantasize about what could have been.

You wanna go forward! Not backwards.

And who broke-up with whom? Did you leave on good terms? Was the relationship a disaster?

Don't brood over the past. It was a learning experience simply to prepare you for your True Queen who you will someday meet. No matter how that relationship ended, the experience will prepare you for a newer and better one - if you paid attention to the things that made it miserable and the things that made it special. So, learn from that.

If she's single later and you still have feelings for her, then holla'. If not, be friends, and enjoy your new girl.

DzL (Asp)
"The Player's Lifestyle" (website)

Answer 2

that is normal to feel sad ...yopur first love...can be devastating to hear they found some one.. you may not have been ready at the time but thats part of growing up...it sounds like it wasnt to bad of a nasty split,,,, so just be happy for her and try to remember something wheter good or bad always happens for a reason. some day you too will find some one special and you will know when you are ready to settle down, the sadness is probably because you feel bad that you were not ready to committe at the time. 5 years 2 years 1 month .....you never forget your first love...you will be fine i promise just try to shake it off. in time you will be happy for her and find inner peace for your self. good luck to you!!

Answer 3

I know how you feel, when my very best boyfriend got married I have the same feeling too. But all I want is he has a happy marriage and we are still good friends but I keep a distance from him cos I do not want any misunderstanding between his wife and me.

Answer 4

isn't that for u 2 answer?How will others know ur feelings?