My wife is always complaining that she does not get to spend "quality time" with me and that I spend to much time on myself. It only bothers me the way she says it...like I dont care or I'm some sort of loser or something. I have two kids as well. Baby and Toddler.
2006-09-22 02:32:30 · 19 answers · asked by Joe V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, my husband and I also have two little ones. It is hard because there is only 24 hours in a day and when you are asleep for some, at work for others it just makes it hard. For us this is how we do it. While he's at the office our toddler is in preschool and the baby is here all day getting my attention. When they come home, we all play together, have dinner and then I try to spend one on one time with my toddler. When it is bedtime, we tuck them in and let them watch a movie at which time it becomes our time and we spend it talking or watching a movie.
It is hard, I'm sure your wife appreciates you and is simply down because she wants to be with you more. Best wishes to you and your Family!!!
:o)
2006-09-22 02:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to look at it this way I tell people that taking care of you is just as important as taking care of the loved ones. But in taking care of you it is just as important to take care of your marriage. That means once a month you and your wife may need to get away from the kids and take some time for you and her. Also you each need time away from everyone one else so the times she has let you have personal time away have you done the same for her. Say honey I'll watch the kids today you go call a friend and get your hair and nails done and have a mommy break. Compromising will work wonders for your relationship plan to make time like you would make a doctors appointment. Blessings
2006-09-22 10:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by Celestine B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to please your wife is to establish a routine. Every day, at a specified time, you spend x minutes in a planned activity with her. Pick out a couple of shows you both like to watch each week, and then talk about it, or about whatever, for 10-15 minutes after it's over. Eat dinner together three evenings a week and give her your full attention. Etc. Additionally, plan a date once a week or twice a month. Arrange for a baby sitter and go to dinner, to a movie, to a concert or play, or whatever you both enjoy. Once you show her that you want to spend time with her, she'll stop complaining.
2006-09-22 09:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you give her any time for herself? Ask her how you can balance personal time with her, the kids, and yourself. What she may be complaining about is that you spend so much time on yourself and she is always with the kids, which leaves no time for her. The two of you need to sit down, talk it out, and come up with a plan that fits everyone. It is not selfish to want your own time, just make sure she is getting hers as well.
2006-09-22 09:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to empathize. Your wife is saddled with two young and very demanding children, day in and day out. Your wife obviously needs to connect with you. I imagine that the way she says it is most likely accusatory and nagging, but she is probably desperate.
Women with small children yearn to connect with their husbands the way they did before the children came. They sometimes feel old and washed out by the stress of raising very young children. If you want a great marriage you need to make your wife feel like she is your first priority. Ask her on a date. Tell her that you admire her for her unselfishness and the love she gives your two babies. She has done all of this for you believe it or not. Doesn't she deserve the best that you can give her? Love given is always given back ten fold. Appreciate what you have, it could all disappear tomorrow.
2006-09-22 09:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Eric A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you work out something, like maby spend 1 to 2 hours by yourself, than spend a few hours with you wife. Than whatever time you have left in the day you spend with you kids, but it might help to have like a family member or somebody you trust watch your kids when your not spending time with them.
2006-09-22 09:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any children, but my husband works alot, so I can sort of relate to her. On the other hand, I feel for you - and I think it's GREAT that you're trying to give her this needed attention she feels she needs. I think you should sit her down and let her know that you HEARD what she's saying and that you're going to make an EFFORT on your part to give her more "quality time". Find out specifically what would make her happy - Ask her what exactly she needs to feel more appreciated. If it takes getting a babysitter and going out for a romantic dinner, then do it. If you do this, you'll know what she needs instead of trying to guess, and you can say you at least tried. She'll appreciate it, I'm sure.
2006-09-22 10:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I said that to my husband as well....Does all husband behave the same? My husband travels a lot, hence when he is back in town I always want him to spend quality time with me and kids, guess I am not asking too much on this. However, I do allow my husband to have some times on his hobby - golf on Saturday. Hence I only left with Sunday...
2006-09-22 09:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by vosy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your either going to the bar too often or spending too much time online. Either way you should spend more time with your family. Try finding things you both like to do and that you can bring the kids.
2006-09-22 09:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by Fire_God_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joe,
In order to balance personal time and time with the wife and kids, we must set priorities. Answer these questions honestly, what is more important to me? How do I want to be remembered? What do I love more, my family or my job? We have to see things from the perspective of eternity. Read the book the "Purpose Driven Life" of Rick Warren. You will find it very insightful.
2006-09-22 09:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by Juan V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋