I'm sorta with this guy. I really like him, but I don't think that our relationship is really a good thing. in fact, it's kinda wrong. He has a family, and I'm feeling really bad about the whole thing. He says that he loves me, but sometimes I feel more like his toy or pet or something. Some of the stuff that he wants me to do is so..dirty/disgusting.I'm 15 and he's 43. He has a son that is older than me. I know this is wrong deep down, but I keep trying to tell myself that it's ok. Because he's really sweet. But for some reason. I'm just feeling worse and worse. I feel like the worlds biggest slut. I know that I probably am too, but I don't want to be this way anymore, I don't want to feel this way anymore. How can I tell him that I don't want to be with him anymore. I still want to be friends with him and his family, I just don't want to be in a relationship like this anymore. I shouldn't be crying after every visit, should I?
2006-09-22 02:13:00 · 22 answers · asked by Alexia S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If this is a sincere question....and not a joke. Your "lover" as you refer to him is a child molester. He belongs in jail.
I wish I were your Mom,....I would have that guy by the "short-hairs", and the first call I would make would be to the Sheriff's office. The second call I would make would be to a counselor who could help you undo some of the psychological damage this guy has bestowed up on you.
He doesn't love you, Dear. Don't believe that for a second!! He wants to have sex with you to fulfill his own perverted needs--period. I am also pretty sure you are NOT his first victim.
I am a licensed social worker, and also a mandated reporter....Good thing I do not know who you are.
For all of you "Doubters" out there,.....this kind of thing happens ALL the time....unfortunately. :(
2006-09-22 02:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
STOP.. You are being used. At your age mistakes happen. Adolescents, family strife, and peer pressure can leave you open to these type of people. But the man in question is a predator. He is not sweet or caring. He is a sick man. Hes needs help...
You already know what is doing to you mentally. He will continue to use you. Break it off and tell him to stay away from you. If he continues to harass you. Report him. There are agency's that can help.
He has damaged you mentally. But it can be overcome with some self respect on your part. You deserve better and you will have it. Find some one to talk to about it. A counselor, a social worker, clergy person, or family member.
You don't have to deal with this alone. SHAME and ISOLATION is what he wants for you it gives him power over you and it sounds like hes done a good job of that. You are asking for help. The first step is to take control over your own life. It will get better after a while.
" End It." Remember this, there are others to whom this has happened to. Thay have survived and so will you.
2006-09-22 10:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by unsolicted block does not work. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that, had friends do it too! I know you aren't going to actually do anything anyone tells you too-and you will learn the hard way- just the way I did- but I'm telling you now- avoid him like the plague! He is an old dirty minded, disgusting, man(trying to keep this clean!) I was you..20 years ago, I said but mom , he loves me, he buys me stuff, he cares about me...everything was great when I was w/ him -I was 15, and he was 28, and his friend was 35- thats another story-anyhow, I got pregnant(which I never thought I would) ,we took precautions-NOTHING IS FOOL PROOF! Later, about 6 months or so..he called me names -such names I don't care to repeat- I think of all the mistakes I made in my past-and how life would be so different if that experience never happened- I now have a 17 yr old daughter, I have been married for 18 yrs- you do the math> its with the father of my child- but its not the best marriage in my opinion- I grew up too fast, made too many wrong decisions, and I am now still to this day paying for my younger childhood mistakes- I pray every day that my daughter doesn't have sex as young as I did- and really hope it is never with a man that is old enough to be her father - My God..does this man have a daughter also? ask him> what if his 15 yr old daughter was seeing a man in his 40's - what would he do to that man? and what kinda man would cheat on his wife and family with a 15 yr old- there is something wrong with this guy- Find someone closer to your age- I wouldn't suggest older then 4-5 yrs more then yourself- My prayers are with you- please wise up- before its too late!
2006-09-22 09:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by sawgirl513 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you already know he is old enough to be your father. If any man makes you feel like dirt then you know it isn't the right relationship. I think you should defiently break it off and most likely cut all ties with him. If he gives you a guilt trip tell him its your choice and if he continues to bother you then you might have to tell someone (parents) about the affair. He can and maybe should get into lots of trouble legally for having a relationship with you. I suggest for you to talk to a trusted adult about the situation because if he is making you do things you don't want to do then in some way he's abusing you. He's playing on your age and trying to get you to do things he obviously won't ask his wife to do. Get as far away as possible and don't look back!!!
2006-09-22 09:20:18 · answer #4 · answered by jazzy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl hes using you BIG TIME and you know it ,,thats why u feel so bad. He should be in jail for being with a child. Hes disgusting. Should be shot,,,hes a pervert. You need to seek some professional help and talk to someone about whats been going on. He doesnt care about you in the least bit. He only cares what he can get from you sexually.....HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL!!!!!!!
2006-09-22 09:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK...first of all he's commiting a crime by having sex with you, did you know that??? Tell him straight out that you're not seeing him anymore and if he insists you'll go straight to the police. Why would you put yourself in this situation to begin with; you're better than that and deserve alot better!! You mght want to involve a trusted adult to help you...or better yet, just call the police. They will be happy to tell him for you! Godloveya!
2006-09-22 09:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whao.. u are in a serious trouble.. first of all.. of course you should break up with him. it's a totally must.. because he ois married.. even with kids.. and he so freaking old for you.. he is like your father.. and he must be some kind of pervert.. no offence but yo.. you know it don't cha??
well.. u should just have a chat with him in somewhere where there is people.. so if he does anhything to you like slapping you or strangle you.. anleast there is people there to witness.. tell him nicely.. talk to him nicely.. if he is a gentleman. he should understand and will let you go.. he should really really think of your future too.. if he is a real gentleman.. so take care.
lemonie
2006-09-22 09:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by lemonieHm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl you are being raped. That is called statutory rape and he is a pedophile. Report him to the police immediately. That is how you break things off with him. He makes you feel good by bull-s-h-i-tting you to get you to do what he wants. Don't continue to be his victim, he may be doing this to other young girls.
2006-09-22 09:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by hpneil 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no relationship. You are a toy to him. You should be in school. Get away from him. If he gives you any problems, tell hiim you are going to the police.
2006-09-22 09:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you!
Unfortunately, you can't be friends. You have to eliminate him from your life completely. If there is a sexual relationship here, he is risking jail time.
Get away from this guy and threaten to blow the whistle on him if he doesn't get lost!
2006-09-22 09:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋