After 15 years my divorce is final. My former wife and I are dancing around the issue of continuing our sexual relationship. Sexually, we've never had it so good. We're excited, but at the same time want some thoughts from others who have traveled that road. Truth be told, I'm more emotionally attatched than she; however, I'm distanced enough to remain sane, and she still entertains the "fantasy" of a reconcilliation a LONG time from now.(This forum is far more valuable than therapists or talk shows or anything else for that matter e.g., ask any three therapists or doctors or lawyers the same question and you'll get 50 different answers)
2006-09-22 00:03:03 · 9 answers · asked by paddyfm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been there, done that.
In the end, all you're doing is prolonging the "real end". You are creating a confusing gray area that will not allow either of you to move forward or back. You said it yourself, you're attached. You are preventing another really wonderful, "whole" relationship to come into your life. You know the saying, **** or get off the pot. Letting go is hard, especially when you still have some good parts left of the relationship. But in the long run, you're making it more painful for what's to eventually going to HAVE to come......which is a final decision. Trust me, the ambiguity of your situation will cause future complications.
2006-09-22 01:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. My divorce experience left me unable to get aroused whenever I was with her, because there was too much emotional damage done. I always thought that the possibility of a reconciliation was there, and as long as that was a possibility, we were ok, but by the time the Divorce was final, there was no way that I could continue.
Right or wrong, there is no way for you to be able to know whether or not she is exploring her sexuality outside of your clandestine relationship. You don't want to be the unwitting recipient of something she picks up from someone else, while sowing her wild oats. If she can not be monogamous in this relationship, then I would press on, and hope that time would heal the wounds that are there.
2006-09-22 07:35:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kinda agree with the question of getting the divorce in the first place but you have your reasons. Continuing a sexual relationship now is fine but did you think about what happens if either of you find another? What will happen then a foursome?
....interesting....
2006-09-22 07:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have sex with my ex if he were the last man on EARTH!! Didn't like it when we were married. I say if you both are ok with it maybe you could try getting back together. If either of you are in relationships don't even think about it unless you want to lose what you have now.. Good luck
2006-09-22 07:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by kdbnsc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never look back. Find another woman. That's kind of the point of getting a divorce.
2006-09-22 07:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're happy with your arrangements, then enjoy!
I'm not so sure about the reconciliation but if that's what you BOTH want eventually then work hard at it!
2006-09-22 07:07:22 · answer #6 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got off that road with my ex and have no desire to travel it again. Sex isn't THAT important to me.
2006-09-22 07:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck did you get a divorce for?
2006-09-22 07:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you are leading her on buddy. Hasn't she been hurt enough already? Let go of her.
2006-09-22 07:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋