Are you happily married, if not, why?

Question

So many people are not happily married these days. What is it, sex problems, financial, kid problems, lack of intimacy, married too young, want someone else. Just a few to help you along, but what would you say was the main one these days? Too much stress, maybe? Can we overcome these problems or just throw in the towel?

Answer 1

I got married a few months ago, to a man I had known for less than a year. I know, I know.. He is from another country and he would have to leave unless he could find some way to get a visa to stay. (Red flag warning... I know...) Anyway, at the time, I decided I would go for it. That I was sure I was in love with him and would go anywhere/ do anything to be with him and to make our life together work. I envisioned an amazing future together with many great adventures, lots of laughter, and sweet romantic evenings. I believed fully that I loved and was in love with him. I also believed that he felt the same way about me. We had many discussions about things that we liked to do and what we wanted in the future. I met many members of his family and enjoyed spending time with them. He met members of my family and seemed to like them. I had always been told that when I found "the one" I would know. Well, I "knew" I had found him.. (Only thing is, I had thought that before.. and it hadn't worked out.. so maybe my "knowing" isn't as clear as it should be) We made the arrangements and were married with only 2 of my friends there and a few members of his family. Still, my family does not know... We recently found an apartment that we could afford and moved in after a few months of searching. It is not in a great neighborhood, doesn't have any kind of yard, but it is a fine apartment for now. It is difficult to decide. I am not completely satisfied with our relationship. Our schedules make it difficult as I work days and he works evenings, so the only time we really get to spend together is on the weekends, when we generally have commitments with other people, also. We share work around the apartment and financial responsibilities although in the financial department I usually end up making up some slack which isn't easy with the bills I have and the amount that I make. Upon getting to know each other better, I'm beginning to see that despite how perfect we seemed to be for each other, our dreams for the future might not quite be in synch. Besides this, I recently came upon some evidence that he might be cheating. Just a few little things, but enough to make me curious and a little bit snoopy and paranoid. But above all, it would be a little bit of everything that makes me a bit unsatisfied with our current relationship - it's funny.. it isn't really the idea that I might be only a "Green Card wife" to him or the idea that he might be cheating on me... It's more the fact that we haven't had too much time to just spend together, talking and dreaming, discussing things - anything - just having good conversation, the fact that he doesn't seem to want to do things we had talked about wanting to do - maybe his personality isn't as adventurous or spontaneious as I had believed it was or would like it to be.. I wonder if maybe I fell into the trap of falling in love with the man that I wanted and expected he would be rather than falling in love with the man he really is.. I guess time will tell for us.
Anyway, if anyone would like to discuss relationships further with me, go ahead and email me. Thanks...

Answer 2

I married my best friend and we are very happily married. That does not mean that we have always been happy but we always make sure that we never go to sleep angry or without telling the other person that we love them.

I can not remember a time that I was not married to my husband and yet it feels like we are still newlyweds. (we have a 20 year old, twin girls that are 18 and twins that are 12). I could never imagine my life without him and he feels the same way.

There is no problem besides abuse or serial cheating that can not be worked out. Just two generations ago people married in their early teens, these people are celebrating 50th and sometimes 60th anniversaries now. In this day and age, divorce is too easy. I have heard people say ,"We are going to get married and if it doesn't work out we'll just get a divorce." That is the wrong attitude to go into a marriage with.

We plan on happily growing old together and we will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Marriage isn't 50/50. Sometimes it's 20/80 or 60/40. If you strive to love your spouse as you love yourself then anything can be conquered.

Answer 3

I am and am not happily married, I married a man older than me and I love hime a lot, We were happy for a long time, we have now been together 6 years and 2 yrs ago we just stop being intamatie, I try and talk to him but it never works, we don't spend time to together, just the 2 of us, We have made a life together and worked hard for where we got, I would be completely happy if we had the itmacy we had when we met

Answer 4

I was married before and we had lack of communication problems and money problems. Caused alot of arguing. we also married too young. I was 19 and he was 21. We were married 12 years before I left. I have since them remarried and I have never been happier. We get along perfect. We never have fights or disagreements. We always talk about whatever. I think that maturity has a big role in it. He too was married before for 6 years. I didn't know we could be so happy. Were working on our 2nd year of marriage. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Happily married after 20 has no better substitute. You cannot be fully happy & satisfied as a single without fulfilling your legitimate emotional, physical & psychological needs of your body, made so by nature itself. If you remain single & after 45 or 50, you feel you must have a deep loving life partner & children for future of the family, you can not do anything. At that time you regret only. That is dead sure. You can not go back to your 20s & 30s b coz time can't flow backward & health & fitness of the past can not be reversed. In ideal married life you get deep love, affection, intimacy, care, trust, physical & mental pleasures of top order, best satisfaction & above all the best security. A human body badly needs a partner in the bed to touch, massage, gently press his/her muscles, hug, kiss, smooch for at least an hour daily & have tremendous pleasure of orgasm, unforgettable, unavoidable. As long as you have youth, you need that badly. None can be even 10 % satisfied in life without that.

Answer 6

My wedding day was the happiest day of my life. But after the new wore off, his true nature manifested. He was self-focused and shallow. He manipulates me to try to get his own way, and has the maturity level of a pouty child. When he actually threatened to leave me if I did not "shut up and smile" and let him do what he wanted, he broke my heart, and I've become more jaded and bitter for the experience. Oh, and yeah, I'm still married because it's the best for my kids to remain stable until I have straightened out my ducks enough to divorce. I loved him so much, and it hurts alot, but that is why I am now not happily married.

Answer 7

Sometimes I am happily married other times I would like to kick him out, but he is a wonderful man and as long that I remember that he is always, always there for me I am happy. We argue when I'm stressed and he doesn't have the time to listen to me or just gives me advices when al I want to do is to complain for a while, but if I remind him of what I need he is happy to help me. I will never give up! I know that it won't get better with another or "new" man it's the same difference and there is no such thing as the perfect man ( or woman).

Answer 8

Im not happy in my marriage and havent been for over 6 years. Thats when I moved into my own room... and havent had sexual relations with him since. We have been married for over 11 years now, so figure over half our marriage has been in seperate beds. It started going down hill when hubby put race car before me, the kids, our home... etc. He was obsessed with anything Drag Racing. He actually told me once to "not spend too much at the grocery store or we wont have the money to race this weekend!! Over the years, bit by bit I have lost ALL respect for him for things from talking down to me, and treating me like Im stupid, to not doing anything about a so called "friend" of his trying anything to get me into bed with him. I have finally accepted that it will NEVER be what it was, and i want out. But he has been the step dad to my daugters now ages 17 and 15 for almost 12 years, plus we have a 7 yr old son together. Not to mention I am and have been a stay@home mother our entire marriage... so there are financial reasons to consider as well. I am so sick of this life! I wont ever be happy like this.

Answer 9

I've been married 40 years and there have been some ups and downs every couple has them.But I would have to say yes.We still say "I Love You" to each other every day.My Grandma once told me to never go to bed mad.Stay up and talk it out no matter how long it takes.The silent treatment never works.One thing you forgot to mention is time.In this hurry-up world we live in you just need to grab the one you love ,hug them tight and enjoy the moment.Make the time for the really important things in your life.

Answer 10

I am happily married and yes I have stress and money problems along with kids, but I still get butterflies in my stomach when my husband walks into the room.