My mother died when I was fifteen, and my brother was seventeen, I was sent to live with my mother's parents who were homophobic and religious-fanatic while I am gay and agnostic, my father also kept my older brother.
My grandparents tried to make me see being gay was wrong, sick, unnatural, and sinful. They also made me go to a counsellor that nearly drove to kill myself, and caused me to self-harm. I lost the will to live almost completely.
Thankfully I have my friend Nathan, who always swore since I first met him, when I was fourteen, to protect me, even from myself. I am going to be nineteen soon, I am happy now, and I have not been in contact with any of my family since I turned eighteen, and moved in with Nathan.
So who do you think hates me more, my father for sending me there and seeming to not care, or my grandparents who made me miserable...?
2006-09-21 22:54:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I really feel for you ,I'm wondering if they were your fathers or your mothers parents ,if your fathers then he really did wrong by you but if your mothers ,is it possible he didn't know how bad they would be ,you don't say how your father handled your being gay.Look I know we are all supposed to know better than to be homophobic these days but the sad fact is not every one got the memo.and it is hard for some narrow minded people to cope when faced with it .I hope they come around one day but in the mean time you need to take care of your self and be happy.Part of being happy means to let go of the hate and pain.You cant forgive them totally because they haven't made amends but you can chose to not hold on to the pain and hurt .PS your father is the one who was most responsible ,he let you down .It might help to write to him ,even if you dont send the letter.
2006-09-21 23:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're lucky to have a good friend in nathan and should concentrate on the good things rather than filling your mind with thoughts of hatred but if i had to answer the question i'd say your father was more wrong(don't know about hate here),as he knew how your grandparents would re-act...he should have been man enough to deal with having a gay son himself...take care all the same.
2006-09-21 23:06:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Don't listen to Laney because it would ruin your ex's reputation. Instead of making a big fuss over step parents/step grandparents, how about telling the ex how both your daughter and you feel about the situation. I personally couldn't live without my kids, so if you try to change the custody agreement and you're unable to, I suggest you move closer to your daughter. Your daughter will complain and dislike the stepmother because she feels that she took over her father. I know...my stepdaughter hates me and I do everything for her. Don't take your daughter from her father because of her jealousy. If you believe she's in real danger, that's when you fight for custody but that is not the case.
2016-03-27 02:01:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter anymore. You are now a legal adult and can choose any lifestyle you want. I doubt that either your father or your grandparents hate you, they just can't accept the path you have chosen. That is their problem, not yours. I would continue trying with your dad. Sent an occasional note or Christmas card. Let him know how happy you are. I have a neighbor who's daughter is gay. She just lost her partner of over 20 years to cancer. She was lucky. Her parents accepted her for who she is.
I wish the same for you.
2006-09-21 23:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say none of them hate you. People have all kinds of different beliefs. Based on how they grew up, what they've been through, outside influences,religion...yada yada. They might think In their head that this could help you, not realizing the effect it has had on you. Instead, they are being selfish and thinking of their own needs and wants instead of yours. Your family may never understand, so you have to try to grow on your own. It might hurt alot but trying to live to please them will hurt more. Do your own thing and try to love them from a distance. Our generation today has a different view of the world and sometimes the older ones have a hard time seeing it it the same light. Their actions say they love you, but they are not doing it it the right way at all.
2006-09-21 23:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by jenisisgrafix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone hates you, except maybe YOU. You sound deeply confused, and I'm not sure that you're as happy as you say. Find a good friend to confide in, and start a hobby - something you really enjoy to occupy your time. Your life sounds very complicated and difficult, but you CAN make it work for the best for you - you just have to believe in yourself first.
2006-09-21 23:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fkn hell I felt like crying reading this and thats a feeling dodds does'nt get much! What ever the answer is 2 fingers to your Father and Grandparents they are the ones now missing out! Good luck to you and your good friend! *huggs*x
2006-09-21 23:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think either of them hate you they just have different views. your dad was going through a rough time. have you asked him why he sent to live with your grandparents. homophobia is a very bad thing but so is racism and sexism but it will always go on try to rise above your family and remeber its them with the problem and stop looking back and life has just begun for you live it
2006-09-21 23:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you dwell on the past and on trying to figure out who hates you the most? It sounds like you turned your life around against great odds, and are now happy, so why not enjoy the present and look to the future?
2006-09-21 23:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im sorry these issues have been forced upon you mate - but the rest of your life is about your choices weather to let these issues and narrow minded people from your past destroy you or make you stronger.
your out of the bad places now buddy, keep aiming for the light!!
2006-09-21 23:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Gravy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋