I had a night out with my Best friend (S) and his friend (R) a few months ago. I got together with R that night, but didn't tell S as he was going through a bad patch and we didn't want to upset him.
We told S were were going on a date a few days later so he could get used to the idea.
Its been a while, and we aggreed that we would tell the truth. We thought it might be best coming from me as I have known him a lot longer.
My BF said that he valued me enough not to just blurt it out and potentially diturb a good friendship. I was really pleased he said that.
Anyway - you can guess where this is going. They are both away on a pre planned trip, and R texted me last night saying he had told him. My friend was ok about it, and said that S had asked the question directly.
But after what he said about valuing me, I am a bit annoyed. I haven't said anything as I don't want to ruin their trip. I know this isn't a big problem by the way, just thought I would ask. Any thoughts?
2006-09-21 22:25:05 · 19 answers · asked by Steven L 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Decided I am not that bothered by it. If he hadn't told him, then it would have been a bare faced lie to S. If the situation was reversed, I probably would have done the same.
The only reason we didn't tell S on the night, was because he was going through a hard time being single and thought it might be a slap in the face. I was trying to protect his feelings. Maybe a mistake, but filled with good intentions (and alcohol). At least we won't have to lie about our anniversary dates to him. :-)
2006-09-21 23:50:37 · update #1
Is it just me or is this very confusing?
Just hope it works out for you!
Good luck
2006-09-22 02:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by ticklemonster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would be a bit annoyed, but anyway, S asked R, so he should tell the truth. He could not refer S to you instead at that moment. Forget it. The good things now are that R knows the reason (to protect his feeling) and you both could breathe a bit easier about the anniversary date.
2006-09-22 00:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by hoang anh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. What is the big deal here? Why didn't you just tell your friend directly when you had the chance..this sounds so high school, as if you were slipping around ! Your question states FRIEND, not lover...what in the world is the big deal here? In fact, it almost sounds as if you didn't want your bf to know about the deal..are you ashamed of something here? Very confusing to me. It sounds as if your Boyfriend is prouder of you than you are of him...If I were he, I might be annoyed with YOU.
2006-09-21 23:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As he was asked directly I don't think he has really done anything wrong.
It would look worse if he lied and then you told the truth a few weeks later.
If he had just come out with it without being asked, that would be different though.
2006-09-21 22:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If guess if S had asked R directly, then he couldnt really lie could he? I guess I would be a bit annoyed too, but wouldnt be more annoyed if you found out that R was a liar?
2006-09-21 22:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by OriginalBubble 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you want him to do? Lie when he was asked a direct question?
Value judgements change daily based on the current circumstances. He doesn't value you any less, he just took a decision not to lie when asked
2006-09-21 22:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by n2mustaches 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you do have the right to be annoyed because friend R said that he would let you tell friend S. I don't think that friend R is very trustworthy because he waited until he and friend S were alone to tell friend Swhat was going on. Have you talked to friend S? If not then there is no way of telling what friend R has told friend S.
2006-09-21 22:31:23 · answer #7 · answered by peach49444 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, you shouldn't be too annoyed. That's a very minor thing. He's probably just proud to be with you and wants to share it with people!
2006-09-21 23:03:28 · answer #8 · answered by calebolly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all come out the best way then has`nt it Why is nothing ever as simple with me .I bet your one of those people who falls in s--t and comes up smelling of roses Be happy Keny
2006-09-22 01:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by keny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool your jets and forget it. It wasn't a monogamous relationation and you have no business being annoyed.
2006-09-21 23:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋