my partner has got a psycho ex wife and has threatened to move away with his kids, so he keeps me a secret so this dsnt happen and for a peaceful life but he dsnt tell any1 friends,collegees etc.. why do you think
2006-09-21 21:31:46 · 20 answers · asked by purdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If things can't be out in the open, you should get rid of him. Doesn't sound too forthright to me.
2006-09-21 21:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by mitchmarch2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends how much of an x this x really is. If it is still relatively new things could get better as time moves on. If she is a controlling x from long back you have big problems and need to confront him and tell him it cant go on like this. his x might threaten him but he has a right to see his kids when ever he wants, plus it costs a lot of money to move away, could she really afford to do it. Sort it out girl, life is too short to be unhappy
2006-09-21 21:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by Clair H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long are you together with him?
if it's not that long than i would say to give it some time.maybe he wants to be sure of the relationship before he tells everybody.
with me it was the same but after some time he tell everybody and look now we are gonna get married.
if you are together with him for a long time already than i would ask him why he does say that that it's not fair to you, that you want an open relationship and want the people to know cause than it will feel like a real relationship. if you think that the reason that he give is good than respect it but make sure that you are not just a play toy cause than you only end up hurt.
tell him that also that you don't want to be a play toy but on a gentle way so that he doesn't feel attack.
wish you good luck
2006-09-21 21:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by kelleke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to get a back bone. She can move away with his kids sure, but if he's a decent dad, he'll be granted shared custody. He should consult a solicitor. But he should NOT be keeping you a secret because you are human and have needs too. Personally, this wouldn't be good enough for me, and I'd have told him where to go because I deserve better than to be someone's dirty little secret and you deserve better too. Why should you be sacrifycing a normal life, to keep his ex happy?
If i'm completely honest and i don't mind to be hurtful, but i think there's more to this than his ex wife here if he's not even telling friends and work collegues. You need to sit down and talk to him about this and if he doesn't stop this weird behaviour, then i think you need to forget this one and go find someone that deserves you
2006-09-21 21:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by mother knowledge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to dump him and find someone that is proud to have you as a girlfriend! His ex wife excuse is bullshit - you cant just move kids away like that because you EX has a new partner - they're an ex for a reason!
Hes playing you for a fool - it sounds to me like hes ashamed of you - or he has someone else on the scene that his mates etc know about - and thats why hes keeping you a secret.
I would never stay with a guy like that - you deserve to be shown off and have your man proud to be seen with you - dump this jerk and find yourself someone who will be delighted to have you at the end of his arm and show you off to everyone
2006-09-21 22:12:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't his ex-wife or he has already re-married to someone else or your just a toy he is playing with but you don't fit his image so he doesn't want anyone to know he's "lowered" himself to be with you! Pretty darn arrogant of him, huh? Those are the usual reasons a man doesn't admit he's dating a certain person! I suggest you "show up" at his place of employment with a picnic lunch or flowers. You can start the conversation with "Honey, I wanted to do something special for you, so, I brought you.....! If he gets angry, flustered, red in the face, etc. and his co-workers are in shock you'll have your answer. Either way, if he can't be open with the world about his relationship with you, then there IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HIM! No woman deserves to be treated like a dead house plant!
2006-09-21 21:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by Shadow Dancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this sounds very suspicious. How do you know she is psycho, is it just something he has told you? I think he is telling you piggy porkers because a) he is still having a relationship with the ex or b) he is seeing somone else and he doesn't want them to find out he is with you. The question you have to ask yourself is firstly, do you trust him? (it sounds to me as if you don't) and secondly, do you want to spend the next x number of years being in a secret relationship with no future? I think you already have doubts about this relationship otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question. My advice to you now is to give him his marching orders and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Move on, find someone who will have an open, honest and committed relationship with you.
2006-09-21 22:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not right. he has rights to see his children and the mum cant do anything about it. if he loves you, tell him he has got rights and to stop giving his power away to his baby mother. HE is with you now so he should act like it. she obvioulsy still has feelings for him as she is thretening him, or he is not tellin you everything and they have both agreed to stay free or somthing.
AT the end of the day, you are worth more than being kept a secret. the mother using the kids is not right and she will NEVER be able to keep them away from the dad anyway, its law. i dont know where some b!tches think they can get of trying to control man and ruin the rest of their lifes. DONT GIVE THE B!TCH your power, and currently he and you are. if you tell him to come out with it, and he dont, leave him. you will soon see if he is worth it, as he wil or wont come begging you back and make everything right. trust me. and if he dont come back, so what, move on, i bet your young and attractive and can do much better. he might love you,but i tell you now, he knows your not happy with the situationa and you carry on living with it. so therefore, his respect for you is going and going fast. respect is a key thing for a relationship and right now he knows he is taking libities with you. sorry b, but its true. gudluck and stand your ground, i know its tuff but can you really see a future with you and him whilst you are a secret. ............
i didnt think so.
**) xx
2006-09-21 21:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the ex wife isn't ex or maybe there is another one who isn't his ex yet tucked away somewhere.
Don't trust him . Get away from him while you still can. If he is the one for you, he will sort things out and come for you in the future. If not then you have wasted long enough of your life on this man.
2006-09-21 21:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this happen. You do exist, and this is so undermining. 9 out of 10 times when men do this, it is because there is something they are not telling you. You are obviously not happy about this.....and quite rightly too. So please let him know about it. Hope you resolve this. Whatever the outcome, good-luck. My partner has a phsyco ex too. It's so sad when kids are used as weapons by their own mothers xx.
2006-09-21 21:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by siany warny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he hasn't resolved his relationship with his ex-wife totally. He may still have feelings for her and hasn't really let go. A lot of men do this. You shouldn't let him treat you this way if your relationship is really important to him he should take control of the situation and put his ex in her place.
2006-09-21 21:49:51 · answer #11 · answered by zodibrat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋